Page 97 of Fire
I remember Zander telling me how, as a father, you feel completely helpless during the birth of your child. You gain a new appreciation for your wife’s strength and resilience, but at the same time, you’d do absolutely anything to switch places with her so she wouldn’t have to endure that kind of pain.
That’s how it felt to see her so sick yesterday—and that was just the flu.
I’m so fucking screwed.
Me
I know Zara is the doctor here, but I don’t think having a fever is a common pregnancy symptom.
Also, you are just a little too excited about the prospect of me knocking up the woman I’ve been seeing for less than a month.
Mom
Okay, you might be right. It’s a bit too soon, but I’ve seen the way you look at her, Hen.
My heart starts to gallop in my chest.
Me
And how do I look at her?
Mom
Like she’s the perfect rhythm to your favorite song.
Leave it to my mom to make me all emotional on a Thursday morning.
Me
I don’t want to fuck this up.
Mom
Then don’t.
Me
That’s your great motherly advice? Don’t?
My phone buzzes again, but this time it’s a FaceTime call. She does this a lot. She gets tired of typing out her replies, gives up, and just calls us. When we call her out on it, she claims she just wants to see our pretty faces.
I get up and walk to the balcony. I sneak out and gently close the sliding glass door behind me.
“Hey,” I say, after I swipe across my screen to answer.
“There’s my rock star son.” She beams. Her long, silvery-blonde hair is loose. Tiny tendrils flutter with the breeze as she wraps her favorite sapphire blue blanket around her shoulders.The color matches her eyes. “I couldn’t go a second longer without seeing your face.”
I offer her a warm smile, knowing she’s full of shit. “Missed me that much, huh?”
“I always miss you when you’re gone.”
“Yeah.” I grin and shrug, trying to mask how much her words affect me. I miss her when I’m gone too. I miss all of them, and the thought of traveling on a more permanent basis is starting to feel more like a curse than a dream. “I imagine Creed family dinner just isn’t the same lately without me there to liven it up.”
She rolls her eyes, but I notice the proud gleam in her gaze as she settles into her favorite lounge chair on the balcony. If I listen closely during the pauses between our words, I can almost hear the waves crashing against the beach. “Well, Jace was here, so he kept it lively enough.”
I stiffen. “What do you mean?”
She waves a dismissive hand, and I know what she’s about to say I won’t like. “He had a little bit too much to drink, and some of the things he said?—”
