Page 56 of Fire
“Then what are we doing here, Hen?” she presses. It’s the first time she’s called me that, and the familiarity of it feels nice. Intimate.
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly.
“You said you didn’t want any distractions,” she reminds me, uncrossing her legs so she can lean forward. We’re now eye level with each other. “You said we should keep it professional.”
I swallow, and my throat feels suddenly dry. I knew we would have to talk about this. I just didn’t expect it to be so soon. But then again, this is Zara, and she doesn’t like riddles or questions without answers. She likes to have all the cards on the table, preferably in a nice, neat row.
It’s what made her such a good tutor.
“I don’t know how to be professional with you, Zara,” I confess. “I didn’t back then when we were in college, and I certainly don’t now. What I said to you in your office is still true. I need to stay focused.” She opens her mouth to offer some sortof protest, but I press on. “But it’s become crystal clear to me that when I’m around you, I’m distracted regardless of whether we’re keeping things professional or not.”
“So?” She doesn’t finish her sentence, but I can practically hear the question mark dangling at the end.
“So I’d rather be distracted with you in my bed than distracted and worrying about who might be trying to get in yours. ’Cause seeing you on that dance floor with Darius is not something I want to repeat.”
“Darius isn’t interested in me,” she tries to tell me. I give her an unconvinced look, arching an eyebrow, and she laughs. “Okay, he’s not interested in me anymore. And you’re missing the point entirely, anyway.”
“And what’s that?”
“I’mnot interested in Darius,” she says, tilting her head to give me a rueful smile. “Or anyone else.”
I cover my heart and, feigning pain, I say, “Ouch, Cupid. That hurts. I just bared my heart and soul to you.”
She rolls her eyes and laughs. “You did not. Saying you want to sleep with me again is not a declaration of love.”
“Oh shit. My bad.” My grin widens. “Did I not make myself clear? I’m not asking for an encore. No, I want season tickets. This”—I motioned between us—“is happening a lot.”
Her expression sobers slightly. “I don’t know if I’m ready for anything serious. My divorce just happened, and…” She stalls, and I’m terrified her next words might be that she’s not over him.
“We don’t have to put a label on it,” I say, not giving her a chance to continue. “Let’s just keep things casual for now. We’re on tour. If this isn’t the time to have a little fun, I don’t know what is.”
She looks hesitant, but I can see her coming around. “When you say casual, does that mean?—”
“It definitely means exclusive. No more dancing with Darius or any of these other idiots.”
She gives me a shy grin. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“However,” she says, looking over my shoulder just as our server arrives with a large platter of beignets and our two coffees. She glances at the powdered sugar confections, and a mischievous grin spreads across her lips. “You may change your mind once you see me demolish one of these in public.”
Without a second thought, I reach down and shove nearly half of a beignet in my mouth. Powdered sugar goes everywhere—my mouth, my beard. A cloud of it settles on my shirt and the table below. Zara’s eyes go wide, and she bursts out laughing. Her hand flies to her mouth, but it’s too late. People look over and grin at us. She whips out her phone and snaps a picture of me looking like a stuffed ghost. Finally, after I chew, I manage to say, “Your turn, Cupid. Do your fucking worse.”
Chapter Seventeen
ZARA
I am so damn nervous.
I don’t remember being this nervous on my first day of med school or the morning of my wedding. But put me in an empty apartment with my college crush, and I’m nearing critical meltdown status.
I can’t believe I invited him over. I can’t believe he said yes.
I should have asked my sister for more advice.
Like, where does she keep her stash of condoms? Or what if he wants to do kinky stuff? Should that be discussed ahead of time? What eveniskinky stuff?
My sex life hasn’t exactly been wild in recent years.
