Page 30 of Fire
Me
What the actual fuck was I thinking?
Vi
Oh, good, you’re right on time. You never disappoint, sis.
Mom
A little late, honestly. I thought we’d get the freak-out text first thing this morning. I had coffee ready.
I stare at my phone in disbelief. I expected this from my sister. But my mom? Aren’t moms supposed to be the sensible ones? The prudish woman who clutches her pearls and tells me that taking a job where I jet-set all over the country with a bunch of hot as fuck rock stars is just about the worst idea ever.
Instead, when I set them both down and told them about this crazy job opportunity,my mom, a sassy feminist who teaches math at a community college and plays the harpfor fun, practically jumped out of her seat and screamed, “Dooo it!”
Come to find out that the woman who raised me is a closet Manic fan and thinks Asher Knight is the hottest man on the planet—except for your father, of course.Gross. She now plans to live vicariously through me for the next five months and wants every single detail.
Life just keeps getting weirder and weirder, I swear.
Me
Did you know that you don’t go through security when you fly on a private jet? They just drive you right onto the tarmac?
Vi
Of course I knew that.
Mom
Yup.
Me
How did you both know that?
Vi
I had this boyfriend…never mind.
Mom
I saw it on Netflix. What boyfriend?
Vi
He wasn’t exactly a boyfriend. He was a…friend.
Mom
A friend? What does that mean? I thought you were dating that nice makeup artist. Marta? She had the prettiest skin.
Vi
We weren’t dating. We were…This is why I said never mind, Mom!
Me
Guys, I have actual problems going on. Can we focus?
