Page 120 of Fire
“That day in the clinic after I kicked the fucking shit out of…”
“Yeah, I remember,” I say, already seeing his hackles starting to rise. I have no idea what the guy said, but it must have been bad. It’s been nearly a week, and Zander can still barely mention the incident without going nuclear.
“Yeah, anyway…” He seems to snap out of it, his eyes blinking and returning to me. “The way she asked, it didn’t feel random. It felt purposeful, like she was trying to put herself in our shoes and see what it would be like.”
“And?” My heart accelerates.
“And we were interrupted before we finished, but I would have told her the same thing I’m gonna tell you.”
“Okay.”
“That it’s only worth it until it’s not.” He shrugs. “There is only one thing I can’t live without in this world, and it’s not music anymore. If I ever get to a point where my career is causing more harm to my family than good, I’m out.”
“Simple as that?”
He slides his hands into his pockets and gives a nod. “Simple as that.”
Three years ago, those words would have shocked me. Zander, who ran away from home at eighteen with an old guitar and his brother’s truck. He’d always had one love, and that was music.
Until now.
“If you’re worried about your future, maybe you need to ask yourself the same question. What can you live without? Once you have your answer, I’m sure you’ll figure it all out.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
HENDRIX
I am a horrible doctor.
I am an even worse girlfriend.
It’s been over a week since I received Hendrix’s final test results from Eric, and I haven’t said a word. When he asked if I wanted him to be the one to talk to him, I told him I would handle it.
But I haven’t.
Like a coward, I keep hoping Hendrix will check his email and see the message telling him to check his patient portal and then bring it up himself. But I saw that man’s inbox one time…
That email is dead and buried and will never see the light of day again.
I need to tell him. Every day I don’t tell him is not only a breach of trust but also a violation of the oath I swore as a doctor.
I wipe away the tears from my eyes, hoping the heat from the shower will camouflage the red splotches on my face. The band put on an amazing show tonight in Boston, and tomorrow we’re heading to New York.
I’ve never been to New York City.
Two weeks ago, I was looking forward to this show. Hendrix was going to take me to the Empire State Building and Times Square. We were going to eat hot dogs from a street vendor and ride the subway.
But now, everything feels so up in the air. Like I’m walking on thin ice, and it’s starting to crack beneath my feet. Any minute now, it’ll break, and I’ll be swallowed whole.
I dry off and wrap a towel around myself. With a deep breath, I open the bathroom door to the suite and glance around. Hendrix is sitting at the ornate wooden desk with a frown on his face. Papers are scattered in front of him. He lets out a deep sigh.
He’s reviewing the contracts again.
My stomach clenches. This is why I haven’t told him yet. Because as soon as I do, everything changes.
“Make a decision yet?”
His head swivels around until those soft blue eyes meet mine. They seem to roam and linger over every inch of me, like he just can’t help himself.
