Page 87 of Twist of Fate
Finn
PRESENT
I am physically and emotionally exhausted.
It’s just after six in the evening, but it feels closer to ten. After Ash joined us—at my mother’s insistence—we took a cab back to my folks’ home near the coast. Since then, I’ve been trying to get her to rest.
She refused to eat and threw an absolute fit when she found me tossing out all the spirits in the house. I have no doubt she will just send one of the staff out tomorrow to replenish it. Hopefully, she will also have them grab some groceries because this place is fucking barren. I offer to order takeaway, but she chooses a shower instead, and before long, she’s in bed with an Ambien.
I cover her with a blanket and turn off the light, trying to decide what to do. When it came to my parents, my mom was the one I never had to worry about. She’s always been solid, steadfast, and dependable. However, this is a version of her I don’t know how to handle, and I can’t decide if grief has brought on this sudden change or something else entirely.
I head downstairs to look for Aisling. As I turn the corner into the den, I see her curled up on the sofa with her phone to her ear.
My steps falter as I hear her speaking to someone.
“Yeah, I know,” she says. “I was looking forward to it, too.” My throat feels thick at the thought of her missing something because she was guilt-tripped into coming to my childhood home by my drunken mother. Her gaze catches mine as she seems to fixate on the open collar of my dress shirt, where I’ve left my tie behind. “We’ll reschedule soon, okay?” She bites at her fingernail. “Yep, okay. Bye.” She ends the call and puts her phone in her lap. “How is your mom?”
“She finally fell asleep. She took medication, so she’ll be out until morning.”
She nods, but before she can respond, I ask, “Did I ruin your weekend plans?” I dread what her answer might be. Was she planning to go out on a date? Had she moved on?You did tell her to…
“Um, sort of, but it’s fine.” She chews at her bottom lip as she watches me take the spot next to her on the sofa.
“It’s not fine, Ash. It’s?—”
“I was supposed to fly to London to see Theo.” I don’t know what I expected her to say, but it wasn’t that, and I can’t help the wave of jealousy that sweeps over me.
“I see,” I grit out.
“He’s been asking me to come for a while now?—”
I raise a hand. “You don’t need to explain yourself,” I say to her. “I’m sorry you had to cancel on account of me.”
“I’m not.”
My eyes jerk up to meet hers. “You’re not?”
She shakes her head and turns to face me. She’s kicked off her shoes, and I can barely make out the thick brown socks covering her feet as she sits cross-legged in the clothes she wore to work. “He had this extravagant weekend planned. Fancy dinners in his new fancy car. Oh, and then there were the hours of soccer practice I got to watch. No offense to Theo, but I’ve sat through enough soccer practices to last a lifetime.”
I chuckled. “You don’t seem like much of a football fan these days.”
“To be honest, I’m not sure I ever was.”
“Well, it is an inferior sport,” I say with a shrug, causing her to laugh. “Rugby is far better. Rugby players too, for that matter.”
“Mmm, I’ve heard that.” Her eyes sparkle with amusement.
“Thank you for today,” I say, my tone turning serious.
“You don’t need to thank me, Finn.”
“I do,” I insist. “I know things between us have been”—I search for the right word—“strained, and I can’t imagine it was easy for you after you saw?—”
She raises her hand. “As you mentioned, we don’t need to justify ourselves.”
I let out a sigh, already sensing the invisible walls she’s trying to construct between us at the mere mention of the moment in the pub. “That may be true, but I still want to. What you saw in the pub, Ash?—”
She shakes her head. “I can’t do this, Finn. I just can’t.”
