Page 85 of The Affair
“I’m a hot mess, Sawyer. Like, certifiable, I think. Are you sure you want to take all this on?”
He gave me a once-over, that sexy little smirk making an appearance. “Oh, yeah.”
Giving him a playful push, I felt a shiver run down my spine, but unfortunately, it had nothing to do with the plans we had for the night.
“I told you before, Elle. Messes don’t scare me. Now, come on,” he said. “Let’s get you inside before you freeze.”
Still on point with his date protocol, he stepped out of the car and ran around to open my door, taking my hand to help me out of the large truck. As my heels hit the ground, my gaze turned upward and met his, and I felt that deep pull.
That connection.
Was I ready?
I still wasn’t sure. But I wanted to be.
We walked hand in hand to the house, and as I unlocked the door, he played with the loose curls around my face and kissed my cheek. Sweet gestures that turned my insides into mush.
The house was dark when we entered. Moonlight filtered through the windows, and as I went to flip the light, Sawyer stopped me. Turning me around, he pulled me into his arms.
“We don’t have to do anything tonight, Elle,” he assured me. “As far as I’m concerned, this has already been an amazing evening.”
My eyes had adjusted to the dim light, and I could now make out his features. Staring up at him, I reached, cupping his rugged jaw with the palm of my hand. “I’m scared I won’t be good enough,” I confessed, revealing my deepest fear—the one I’d been holding closest to my chest. Infidelity in my marriage had not only caused distrust, but it had also shaken my confidence to the core.
“Not possible.”
“How can you be so sure?”
A smile spread across his lips as he pulled me closer. “See this?” he said, wrapping his arms around me. “Put your head on my chest.”
I did, immediately feeling the beat of his steady heart.
“You and I are like puzzle pieces Elle; two halves of a whole, just waiting to be reconnected. When we come together, it will be perfect.”
His words were beautiful, and I wanted to believe him—to be that girl who just got caught up in the moment and swooned.
But I wasn’t. I was the damaged divorcée who needed every assurance that I wasn’t going to be hurt again.
“But what if it isn’t perfect?”
He looked down at me and shrugged. “Well, you know what they say about practice?”
Unable to hide my laughter, I buried my head in his chest, slightly embarrassed and maybe more than a little turned on.
Pulling back ever so slightly, he tilted my chin upward. “Do you want to go make some coffee? Maybe work on the journals some? Or we could always watchBraveheart.”
Seeing him there, with the moonlight hitting the bridge of his nose and the subtle curve of his jaw, ready to do anything to make me happy, I knew.
I just knew.
“No,” I answered, dropping my coat to the ground.
“No? Okay. Do you want me to just go? It is getting kind of—”
“Sawyer,” I pleaded, “stop asking questions and kiss me.”
His eyes widened, understanding blooming across his face. Bending down, he did exactly as I’d asked, kissing me for the first time since that night in the kitchen.
That felt like ages ago.How had I gone so long without this?
