Page 4 of The Affair
“I wanted to see how you were,” he said, sounding genuinely concerned. His voice still had the power to make my stomach clench and my knees wobble, and I hated that.
“My dad died, Reed. How do you think I’m doing?”
He ran his hands through his dark brown hair. “Yeah, sorry. That was a stupid question. I just meant—”
“Why are you here?” I asked, my question instantly making his face blanch.
“He meant a lot to me, Elle,” he answered, sounding incredulous. “I wish I could have seen him before—”
“He asked about you.”
“He did? But I thought—”
I shook my head. “He never knew.”
His eyes widened. “How? But—”
“The man had cancer. Do you think I wanted to break his heart, too, by telling him what you did to me? What you did to us?”
Finally, the shame came pouring back. “No, I guess not.” Reed could only nod, his head lowered, obviously upset.
I wanted to feel bad for him, I did. Growing up, he’d been a part of our family. Ever since he’d nearly run over me with his BMX bike, I had known Reed Gallagher was the one for me.
Like some moronic fairy tale come to life.
“I need to go find my mom,” I said, unwilling to go down any more memory lanes today, especially with him.
“Right. Of course. Will you tell her I said hello?” he asked before realizing what he was saying.
My mom had once loved Reed like a son.
When she’d found out he’d cheated on me with some barely legal waitress at the local bar just a week after my father had been diagnosed with stage four lung cancer, she’d told me she’d never felt so betrayed in her life.
That made two of us.
I didn’t even have to respond before he did.
“Never mind,” he said. “Take care, Elle.”
I could tell he wanted to say more. Whenever we met like this, whether it was between the aisles of the grocery store or picking up takeout at one of the local restaurants, there was always something more waiting on the tip of his tongue. Maybe it was another apology. Perhaps it was a plea for me to come back home and pretend like nothing had happened, or maybe he just wanted to say he still loved me.
All I knew was, I wanted to hear none of it.
Not a goddamn word.
Because there was nothing he could say that could take back what he had done, and he knew it, which was why he kept quiet and I walked away.
Again.
* * *
The universe couldn’t grantme just one tiny break today, could it?
Finally getting past the toxic women and the cheating ex, I’d thought I might be able to quietly sneak into the restroom for a little peace and quiet. But sadly, I’d forgotten that when gathered together in large groups, women tended to flock to the nearest restroom.
And this one happened to be packed.
Hoping to go unnoticed, I ducked into one of the stalls and quickly did my business.
