Page 34 of The Affair
“Did you cook?” I asked, my eyes settling on the large spread of food.
He’d used one of the dining tables we had for sale but gone the extra mile and protected it with a tablecloth. He definitely got brownie points for that. On top were a few dishes I didn’t recognize—things he’d brought from home, I was guessing. All were neatly arranged. Nothing fancy, but all wonderful nonetheless.
“It smells amazing,” I said, wondering if this was what he had gone home early for.
“Just a simple gnocchi and some salad,” he replied, looking over everything with a subtle sense of pride. “You caught me on an off day the other night. I don’t usually eat out, but I had a craving for a nice greasy burger.”
Feeling slightly embarrassed by his revelation, I gave him one of my own. “This will be a nice change for me then. I don’t remember the last time I had a home-cooked meal.”
He seemed surprised, motioning for me to sit down. “Your mom didn’t cook when she lived at home?”
It felt sort of awkward, using the furniture that I was hoping to sell to someone someday, but it was actually kind of nice.
This was what it was meant for after all. What its purpose had been all those years ago when some happy family bought it in its prime, thinking they’d pass it down to their children’s children, but now, through some sort of twist of fate, it was here.
With us.
“No,” I finally answered, taking a seat across from him. “Well, I mean, she used to—when we were kids and, of course, even after that—but when my father got sick, everything changed.”
“Of course.” With a brief pause, his voice changed, slightly lowering in the way people’s did when they were speaking of grief and loved ones lost or just trying to be sensitive in general. “How are you doing? I should have asked sooner. I guess it’s just easier to see a smile on your face and—”
“Forget?”
He nodded.
“That’s kind of how I get by, honestly. It’s not exactly forgetting. But there are hours that go by during the day when I don’t even think about it. Then, I’ll grab my keys and suddenly remember,Oh, right. That happened. My dad died, and it hurts all over again.”
Silence settled. I could tell he was reaching for words.
“Yeah, that sucks.”
It was such an odd thing for him to say that, at first, I sort of stared at him, bewildered. Then, the dam broke, and laughter exploded from my lips.
“That sucks? That’s all you’ve got?”
He joined in the laughter, and that casual shrug he’d so effortlessly perfected came out. “I didn’t really know what else to say. I mean, it does suck, right? And I don’t exactly have anything to compare it to. I’ve never lost anyone close to me, so offering you any wisdom on the subject would be a total dick move, so yeah … that sucks. That’s what I’ve got.”
“You’ve really never lost anyone?” I asked, feeling grateful for the levity he’d brought to the conversation with his odd choice of words.
“Nope. Well, my grandparents. But as I said before, I’m not really close with anyone in my family.”
“No one?” The idea still boggled my mind.
I still remembered attending his grandparent’s funerals and Reed had been devastated over both. How could two brothers from the same house be so different?
Of course, people had asked the same thing about my own brother and me, and I never had an answer, so what did I know?
He gave me a dismissive expression, trying to act nonchalant, but I could see a note of tension rising under the surface. “You know the old jokes about how the first kid is a lot like the first pancake—a tosser?”
I nodded, remembering someone making that joke about me and my brother once—you know, because he was so smart.
“Well, unfortunately for my family, they took that to heart.”
I opened my mouth to question what he could possibly mean by that, but he instantly moved on, his voice hoarser than usual. “Are you hungry? We should probably dig in before this gets cold, if it hasn’t already. Hey, do you have a microwave? Isn’t there one in your office?”
I nodded and absently pointed toward my office, feeling like I’d just been slapped by his omission. The Gallagher family had mistreated Sawyer? Was it everyone in the family?
Even Reed?
