Page 109 of The Affair
“And if it doesn’t work?” she asked.
“Then, we’ll know we tried.”
“I can’t ask you to do this. The store, your life—”
“Can all be put on hold.”
She didn’t look hopeful, but she didn’t argue either. She knew I’d made up my mind.
Feeling like I’d been given a purpose, I pulled out my phone to make a list.
Lists grounded me. They gave me a clear path in a world where it felt impossible to navigate from one day to the next.
Lists were my safe place.
When I’d left Pine Hurst, I’d shut my phone off, knowing Sawyer would read my note and immediately try to contact me. I wasn’t prepared to give him any answers then.
I wasn’t sure I’d ever be.
As the phone powered up, I was not disappointed. Several voice mails and a dozen or so texts were awaiting my response.
Knowing I’d regret it, knowing I might be walking away from one of the best things in my life, I proceeded anyway.
I deleted all of them—every text, every voice mail—and turned to my mom. “Okay, let’s get to work.”
Chapter Twelve
“You’re looking at your phone again,” my mother said.
Glancing up, I took notice of her sly smile. “Am not.”
It had been two weeks since I left Pine Hurst.
Two weeks since the store had been closed with a sad apology letter taped to the front.
Closed Until Further Notice.
I’d asked Candace to put it up, too scared to call Sawyer.
It had also been two weeks since I’d spoken to him as well.
Two weeks of unreturned phone calls.
Two weeks of deleted texts until, finally, nothing.
I hadn’t heard from him for two days.
Had he given up on me?
Smiling, my mom leaned back in her recliner. It was an old, well-used chair that had probably done its fair share of comforting people in need. It was also her favorite in the facility. We’d been here enough now that she’d sat in almost every chair and dubbed this one her favorite.
It had been a long two weeks.
She’d started chemo and radiation as soon as we could get her in. The doctor warned us that it was a long shot, that we might be doing more harm than good at this point. He said we would be better off just enjoying the time we were given. But I couldn’t just sit around and do nothing, and as much as Mom seemed resigned to her fate, she’d perked up at the idea of giving the whole surviving thing a try.
I knew it might be just an act. That she could be, in fact, just holding up pretenses for me, but at this point, I didn’t care.
As long as she was alive.
