Page 107 of The Affair
They began to argue as my brain quietly exploded. They fired words back and forth at each other until, finally, I’d had enough.
“Will someone please tell me what is going on?” I shouted.
Silence.
Complete silence followed my demand as the two of them stared each other down.
“Mom has breast cancer.”
My breath caught in my throat, and I swore my heart stopped.
“No.” It was all I could say. This wasn’t possible.Hadn’t we been through enough? My father… and now this?
It couldn’t be happening.
Again.
“But you look so healthy. I don’t understand—”
“She found out when Dad was sick, and she kept it a secret—from everyone. She refused treatment, putting Dad’s needs first, and now, she’s paying the price.”
“I didn’t want you to find out this way,” she said as I looked up.
“Did you want me to find out at all? Or were you both planning on telling me at the funeral?”
“Elle!” my mother gasped.
“This is just—no,” I said, shaking my head. “I can’t deal with either of you right now. I’m going for a walk.”
“Please don’t leave. You just got here.”
Rising from my spot at the kitchen island, I turned. “I just need some air.”
“Okay,” she answered, and I took that moment to study her face. To remember it.
Please, God. Not again.
My chest ached as I stepped out onto the deck. The smell of the ocean was stronger here, and I could almost reach the waves with an outstretched hand. That was how close my brother lived to the beach.
Maybe this was what she’d wanted—to smell the ocean every day before she lived her last.
Why hadn’t she told me?
Shedding my shoes, I sank my feet into the sand and tried to make sense of everything.
I came here, seeking answers, and sure enough, I’d found them. They just weren’t the answers I’d expected.
My mom was dying.
It was a sentence I never wanted to acknowledge. After my divorce and the funeral, I’d thought I’d been through it all. I was a survivor, and there was no way anything could possibly be as bad as that.
But I was wrong.
This was so much worse.
I wasn’t sure if I could survive in a world where my mother didn’t exist. My father’s death had been hard. This, however, would end me.
I heard footsteps. Turning, I saw my mom wrapped in a shawl, standing behind me.
