Page 117 of The Mistakes I've Made
That was what I was.
A fucking spineless coward.
I was pushing the woman I loved away, basically hand-delivering her to the airport with a giant sign on my forehead that said,Don’t come back, thanks to the things I’d done over the last week.
Coward.
It was the only word to describe my actions.
My brother had been right.
I had issues.
Major ones. But they didn’t center around my inability to love because of some hang-up with my dead father.
No, I’d gotten over that. With Lani, love was easy. So easy that I’d barely even registered the fall.
Until the morning in the kitchen.
I’d climbed down the steps and seen a future.
My future, if I wanted to take it.
She could be mine; I could be hers. Here on the island, just the two of us.
“Are you in or out?”
That was the question her father had asked me.
God, I wanted to be in.
In on breakfast and never-ending history lessons. In on stupid fall festivals and lazy nights on the couch.
I wanted to be so in that it hurt.
But a life on this island wasn’t the life Lani was supposed to live. She was meant for more than these four square miles of nothing, and I knew that, if I let her stay, she’d regret it.
Just like I regretted never going to college and making something of my life.
Sure, it’d abated with time. Regret had turned into something sort of like acceptance, which had then morphed into a reasonable life.
But was it the life I would choose again, if given the chance to do it over?
I wanted Lani to have every chance.
So, I’d done the unthinkable. I’d done something stupid and rash, but it was the only way to guarantee she’d never give up on all those lofty dreams of hers.
I’d bought her damn hotel.
It’d turned out, saving her father’s cell phone number had come in handy after all. It’d cost me almost every dime I had, including most of what I’d squired away to keep the family business afloat. When Dean saw our next financial statement he’d be furious, but at least, now, she would have a real future.
“So, we have a deal?” I said, every word coming from my mouth feeling like another betrayal. Another knife jabbed into my heart.
“Yes,” Mr. Hart answered. “I’ll sell you the hotel—for a hefty profit.”
My teeth gritted. “And you’ll give her the promotion?”
He let out a sigh. “I don’t really see how this part of the deal benefits me.”
