Page 75 of The Scars I Bare
I looked over at her, taking a deep breath. “That sounds like something Molly would say. She’s suddenly become very wise, like her mother, since Jake came back.”
“Dean, are you going to throw up?” Lizzie asked from the backseat, sounding very concerned.
“No,” I assured her. “I’m okay. Really.” My eyes stared out into the dark water as I felt the trepidation coiling in my gut.
“We should have flown to the airport,” Cora said, the worry loud and clear in her voice. “I should have thought this through.”
“Let’s talk about something else,” I pleaded as we lurched ahead, the signal given to load up.
“Sure, of course,” Cora said, driving forward.
I desperately tried to ignore the way my heart was trying to leap out of my chest or how sour my stomach felt. The moment the car inched onto the ferry, I felt a surge of panic and a desperate need to turn back.
The one and only other time I’d been on the thing, I’d been heavily sedated. My mom, too, had offered to fly me home, but having just come out of several months of rehab and a hospital stay where I’d basically been taken care of like a small child, asking my mother to pay for a plane to take me home because I was too terrified to step onto a ferry was something I couldn’t do.
So, I’d endured it.
Medicated, that is.
Today, I was completely sober.
And completely miserable.
“I’ve been making a list of all the movies I’m going to watch with Pappy,” Lizzie said behind me. “Do you want to hear them?”
I nodded. “Sure,” I managed to squeak out.
“Okay, so first, there isA New Hopeand thenThe Empire Strikes BackandReturn of the Jedi, followed byThe Phantom Menaceand—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,” I said. “You’re watching them out of order.”
“What?”
I turned to Cora, who was busy following directions to the correct parking spot on the ferry. I turned away, trying to stay focused on Lizzie. “The Phantom Menaceis the first one. You’ve got to watch that one first.”
“But it didn’t come out first,” she said.
I smiled weakly, feeling pretty proud of myself for knowing something Lizzie Ashcroft didn’t. It was a rarity.
“No, it didn’t. It’s actually the fourth, but it is the first, if you go by order.”
“That doesn’t make any—”
“Just trust me, kid. I was a pretty big Star Wars nerd when I was younger.”
“Really?” Cora asked, her interest piqued.
“Yep,” I said, still looking down at my hands to avoid the windows. To avoid the water.
“I have a feeling I would have liked Dean Sutherland the teenager.”
I tried my best at a laugh. “I have a feeling you’ve met him on occasion. Stuttering, dopey kind of guy.”
“Oh, yes, right—him. Yeah, I like him.” I could hear a smile in her words.
“I actually brought some of my Star Wars comics. My mom saved them; can you believe that?”
“Yes, I can. If she’s anything like mine, she’s saved just about everything, short of the thumbtacks you used. Make sure you show those to my dad. That might help win him over.”
