Page 41 of The Scars I Bare
He saw the tip of my toes hit the floor, and he motioned me to stay. “Nope.” He pointed to my foot. “You sit. This is currently my job. Not yours. So, stay.” He continued with his filing. We both smiled, mine was a tentative one but a smile all the same. Dean settled into a rhythm of stacking or alphabetizing or whatever the hell he was doing while I relaxed and enjoyed the view.
I could do that, couldn’t I?
There was nothing wrong with admiring Dean Sutherland. It was like window-shopping. Browsing without purchasing.
At least, that was the lie I was going to tell myself.
“Hey, guys. I’m going to go have a quick lunch with Molly, and I wanted to know if you—” Jake’s voice boomed through the small clinic before he pushed his way into the waiting room. His eyes darted between me and Dean as I quickly sat up straighter and Dean gave him a look that said something.
What, I had no idea.
“I wanted to know if you needed anything. Yeah, um, want me to bring anything back? Because I could use someone to stay here. You know, keep the place open just in case of an emergency or something.”
His words made sense, but I wasn’t convinced he thought they did. He looked to Dean for confirmation, and I could see Dean’s approving nod.
Somehow, I felt like I was suddenly being set up by these two men.
“Sure,” I replied, “but maybe Dean would like to go with you.”
Dean’s look of surprise made me grin as he obviously tried to think of a reason he couldn’t go.
“Can’t.” He grinned back. “Swamped.” He motioned to the stacks of files spread all around him. “Not even sure I could get out if I wanted.”
I gave him a blank stare as Jake watched our exchange with rapt interest.
“Oh, I’m sure you can. Here, let me take over for you. You guys go grab some lunch. You know Dean hasn’t taken a break all day?”
“I didn’t know that,” Jake replied, with a sly grin.
Dean knew I was calling his bluff and the shock of it was written all over his face. I leaped out of my seat and zipped around to the other side of the counter faster than he could come up with another excuse.
It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy the view or the conversation.
It was that I did.
A little too much.
So, I did the only thing I could. I made a path for the man with the sinful stare and the soulful eyes that held too much promise, and I watched him walk away. And, the moment the door shut and I was free of him, I let my head collapse into my hands as I wondered how the hell I was going to survive the rest of the day with him around. Let alone a lifetime.
“So, what’ll it be?” I asked Lizzie as we settled in for dinner at her new favorite spot, a local restaurant that had stunning views of the bay from its outdoor patio. Plus they had the fish fingers Dean had introduced her to. That was a big bonus.
I couldn’t blame her. With its exceptional food, friendly staff, and casual atmosphere, it was quickly becoming a favorite of mine as well. Plus, it gave me an excuse to avoid the kitchen at the inn. Although Molly had given me free rein over it during the evenings she wasn’t there, constantly reminding me to treat the place as a home rather than an inn, I just couldn’t do it.
The constant flux of guests going in and out was a daily reminder that we were indeed not at home, no matter how homey it felt. I knew Molly meant well, and she was a saint for allowing us to stay there for basically nothing while I figured things out, but I needed to do so quickly.
Until I found a place for Lizzie and me, Ocracoke would continue to feel temporary and foreign. But something was holding me back from picking up the paper or looking online for vacancies. It wasn’t that hard. More than half of Ocracoke was rentals. I just needed to find an owner who was willing to rent for an extended period of time, and now that the summer season was coming to a close, it was an ideal time.
So, what was I waiting for? Why was I stalling?
“Fish! With my fingers!” Lizzie announced.
“What?” I asked, clearly zoned out.
“You asked me what I wanted for dinner. I want fish!”
Remembering I had indeed asked her what she wanted, I nodded, deciding to go for the same. Billy, the owner, came by and greeted us like locals, a feeling that warmed my soul. I ordered our usual and leaned back in the patio chair, allowing the sun to warm me up for a few precious moments.
I was given exactly three seconds before my phone began to vibrate in my purse.
