Page 67 of Chalk Outline
“So many questions.”
“Not enough answers.”
“Why are you acting like this?” That pain flickers in his eyes again. “All I did was help.”
“Do you want a medal for holding my hand?” I immediately regret the words as they tumble out. When the walls closed in on me, he guided me through it until everything started to make sense again. He could have left me in the dark, but he insisted on pulling me out. “I’m… I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I shouldn’t have pushed.” He says, but that’s the point; he didn’t. Not even once.
“The tiny scar under your left eye… I can barely see it. It’s just like my husband’s,” I note as my eyes map his features.
“Fine, Winona, I am your husband.” He scoffs. “What do you want me to tell you? Shut the fuck up and take my cock like a good girl.”
“No!” I bark, nudging his chin with the gun.This is not what I meant.He will never understand. “I want you to get back to your tower and leave me the fuck alone.”
His eyes clench shut, “I didn’t mean that,” regret echoes in his voice.
Still, he’s a good player.
“Yeah, you did. I don’t believe a word that’s coming out of your mouth.”
“Don’t say that,” he jerks his head. “I shared things with you that I never shared with anyone.”
“I believe your stories, and I meant every single word I said. What I don’t believe is everything else.”
He shakes his head, gazing off into the distance. “You’re not making it easier.”
“Maybe I’m delusional for thinking my husband can still walk through any door.”
“You’re not delusional. Far from it. You’re still grieving.”
“But when does it stop?”
“When you take back control and stop feeding the lies you tell yourself.”
“It’s not that easy,” I reply. “I feel like everyone lied to me my whole life.”
“Look, I’m not an angel who fell from grace. Or a villain with no redeeming qualities. I’m just a byproduct of the life that swallowed and spat me out. I feel too much, but I’m forced to hide and bury it deep inside until I feel nothing. Sometimes it’s not a choice. It’s a necessity.”
I get it.
“Do you regret killing him?”
“No,” I reply immediately. “Not one bit.”
“Then let this be the start of a new chapter.”
“What if I can’t move on?”
“You’ll find a way.”
“Do I get freebies on the other side?” I chuckle at my own joke, and he does the same.
“Only more demons to slay,” he jokes, infusing his humor into serious matters once again. “Welcome to the dark side. It’s bloody around here. Cold or warm depends on the weather, but it’s always a killer.”
My shoulders shake from laughing.
I feel like I’m losing a few loose screws.
