Page 72 of Chalk Outline
“God, you speak like a grown man.”
“I had to become one while you were gone, and I read a lot, so there’s that.”
“Good. It’s good.” He nods to himself more than me and flicks his finished cigarette onto the grass, stomping it underfoot. “I still don’t regret bringing you into this world. You’re my lucky charm.”
A freaking charm, that’s all I am.
“I need new shoes. Mine are getting too small and look old. Dick is also playing games with his washing machine. When he wants to punish us, he forbids us from using things we need.”
“Dick can be a little tough sometimes, but he lets you stay here for free, so I’ll talk to him and take you shopping with what I have. It’s not much.”
“Whatever you have, don’t spend it. I really need something new.” It’s embarrassing to walk around like this.
“What about my clothes? I think I have a few things inside.”
“Mom gave them to Dick.”
“Did you ask Dick for clothes and shoes? He buys them for the employees.”
“I don’t want anything from him.”
He raises his hands in the air. “Smart. I get it.”
The circus is closed today, making it the perfect time to get out of here. Too many shifty eyes are looking to have fun. They don’t care that a kid lives here. They engage in threesomes and foursomes after they get high. I’ve seen things that made me want to pluck my eyeballs out. Plus, Dick is inside with Mom right now.
“We can go today,” I urge, “You can take me right now.”
“Slow down, buddy. I just got here. I need to rest and recharge my batteries. You know?”
I push off the table, leveling with him. “Dad, come on. We can go and spend some time together like you wanted to.”
“Reeve, I said not right now.” He says sternly but remains calm. “Please respect it.”
What does he know about respect? Or about fatherhood, for that matter?
He places his hand on my shoulder and shakes it gently. “I’ll take you shopping tomorrow or Friday.”
Right… he’s never going to take me anywhere.
I nudge my shoulder to get his hands off, then push away from him. “I have a lesson with Mute. I’ll see you later.” My hands tighten around the bag.
“You’ve gotten so tall. You look taller than me.” His voice trails off in the background before it fades away.
I take a deep breath, filling my lungs with air as I squeeze my eyes shut. When I exhale, they flutter open, and rays of light disrupt my vision.
Whoever you are, smiling down at me, your sick jokes are getting old.
I wince at the sting on my lip.
It’s 18 minutes past 10 pm, and I’ve been hiding inside the acrobat’s tent since 8. I found a phone on the grass earlier; a moon picture covers the screen, and there’s a frustrating password.
I’ve been trying to decipher it for two hours using the fingerprints left on the screen, but I’m still entering the wrong combinations. It puts me in timeout before the phone is disabled.
If the damn thing unlocks, I can sell it for a couple of hundred bucks. It’s a new model without a single scratch.
“There you are,” Dad’s voice drifts from the entrance. He peeks through the red curtains before entering, baring his teeth with a hint of mischief twinkling in his eyes. Running his fingers through his short hair, he lowers himself beside me on the bench. “What are you doing?” he asks.
“Trying to unlock this phone.” I tilt it toward him so he can see the countdown on the screen.
