Page 122 of Chalk Outline
He laughs softly for a moment before locking his gaze with mine again, relaxing his perfectly crafted features one by one. The longing in his blue eyes shines through. It pleads. It rages. Regret. Love. Admiration. Anger. Fear. They all blend together.
“So, this is the part where you get mad.”
“I’m furious,” I reply, inhaling his intoxicating scent—sandalwood, cigarettes, and leather—deep into my lungs. “You broke me. Losing you tore my heart from my chest and shattered it into unrecognizable pieces.”
“Winona, I had to do this for both of us. I needed answers about my past and what happened, too.”
“Did you find it?”
“Almost.”
So, this isn’t over yet. There is still something or someone out there he’s after.
“You could have taken me with you. Our love meant everything to me.Youwere more important to me than anyone else.“ I press the blade harder, and he doesn’t flinch. He doesn’t move at all. “I died with you. I mourned you every day. I felt sad, angry, and desperate because you left. I knew that you were out there. I didn’t believe it for a second.”
“I know that,” he pauses, “that’s why I had to set you free as well.” I catch the deeper meaning in his tone. I understand that not being there for me is the hardest thing he’s ever done.
“So my grandma built an organization to save abducted kids worldwide, and I was the first on the list? She introduced me to my fake parents once in a blue moon, making up a story about them and calling me her granddaughter because we look alike.”
“She’s not the bad guy in your story. She saved us both. And her organization is many things.”
“I get it. I truly do. But why keep it a secret from me, my whole life?”
“Because she wanted you to live your life and avoid another heartbreak. Chances are, you won’t find them. Your grandma tried for years. She never gave up.”
“I had the right to know. I don’t know if my birth parents are alive or not. What if I have siblings? Family members? What is my real name?”
“What if you hadn’t met me if it weren’t—” Reeve stops himself mid-sentence, and I hear what he isn’t saying loud and clear, and that realization strikes me in the chest.
I move away from him into a sitting position.
“I can’t imagine my life without you. Even when I thought you were gone, I remained grateful for everything we’ve shared. I don’t know what to do with that knowledge. It doesn’t change anything, but it changes everything.”
“It doesn’t have to,” he pulls himself up and cups my cheeks, “you wanted answers because you felt like you didn’t belong inthat house, that’s what you told me. Something is missing. I lived with my parents, but it wasn’t what I needed. Or maybeit wasbecause it made me who I am today. What I’m trying to say is that sometimes our stories unfold differently because this is who we are meant to be. It took me a long time to come to terms with that. I hope one day you will, too.”
The emotional turmoil is buried deep in my soul. It’s overwhelming and disorienting. We’re already in the middle of nowhere, and there’s nowhere to run without danger looming over our shoulders. But he is right here, looking at me with his loving eyes.
He pulls a cigarette from the pack on the nightstand and places it between his lips. He only smokes when he’s nervous, hurt, or overthinking.
I snatch it and flick it onto the floor.
“Winona…”
“I need to feel you’re real. I don’t want to think about it at all right now. I want to be touched. I want my husband.” I point the tip of the blade at his chest, and he looks down at it with a small grin.
“It’s not like I don’t already have a thousand of those. What’s one more scar made by my favorite person in the world?” he brings his thumb and forefinger to my chin.
“A souvenir,” I answer.
Danger flickers in his eyes.
“I knew you had that tendency when I was younger. I even made a joke about it once.” I let the knife trail down his abs. “I didn’t expect lungs but… I guess you did what you had to do.”
“I wasn’t really myself.”
“Or maybe this is who you are,” I suggest.
“You think I want to be a monster?” Something in his eyes breaks when he says those words.
