Page 44 of Show Me How
He told me to come up with my boundary/rule list, but also a general idea of what I was wanting him to teach me. A spicy lesson plan, if you will.
Reaching up, I touch my hair. I can still feel the ghost of his fingers curling around it and pulling. My pulse flutters, the reminder having nearly the same effect now as it did then. Thelow ache in my scalp shot straight down my middle to land between my legs.
While I’m terrified of what all of this could mean, I can’t pretend that I’m not also excited. I’ve always been curious about what sex should really be like. Not the awkward first-time sex, but the real, hot, and sweaty kind where you’re eager to jump somebody’s bones.
I know it’s partially my fault for my lack of knowledge, especially when it comes to pleasuring myself. I’m not some poor girl who had restricted access to the internet or was locked away in a castle her entire life. My castle was really a ski resort, and the lock was easily picked, so I could have just . . . tried harder. The blame for my naivety with sex is on me.
There are two bottles of beer on the coffee table, but only one is still half-full. Shade hardly took five sips of his all night, while I couldn’t seem to down mine quick enough. It didn’t help in the slightest. Instead, it made me all the more jittery, contemplating telling him to scratch this entire idea.
Before I could, he was standing and leaving me with instructions to come up with my boundary list and saying we’d talk at the studio tomorrow. I can only assume he’ll be doing the same tonight.
The scent of his cologne lingers on the fabric of the couch, teasing me with yet another reminder of his presence. I reach for his beer and bring it to my mouth before taking a big swig. The foamy liquid goes down smooth and settles in my full stomach. I’m bloated from the greasy pizza, but while I wasn’t going to tell Shade and let him get more arrogant, it was the best I’ve ever had.
Tapping a nail to the glass bottle, I twist my mouth and glance at my phone. It’s been on the coffee table since before dinner yet hasn’t lit up once. I’m unused to this kind of silence. Maybe that’s one of the things I’m most grateful for being here.
I exchange the beer for my phone and settle into the couch, fighting a shiver from the cold. With my knees pulled up and my heels under my butt, I unlock the screen and open the Notes app.
Boundaries/rules, I type. The title is there, but now what? I type the ideas that come to me first.
Don’t say anything stupid
Don’t act too excited
No sexual touching unless I’ve shaved and showered
Nogetting jealous
No feelings.I underline that one twice for good measure.
I doubt it would happen anyway, but it’s never bad to be extra careful. Shade’s made his type obvious; at least, I think he has. The woman who was at the studio the other night was very different than me, and they clearly have been together in the past. Not to mention his initial statement of not sleeping with inexperienced women.
Yeah, no feelings. Easy enough.
I move on from the boundaries and spell out another title.
Lesson Ideas.
My entire body blushes as I reread it. How exactly does one come up with ideas like that? Am I supposed to scroll through a porn site and pick the kinks I think look most interesting?
Tongue kissing.
I immediately delete that, my face scrunching in embarrassment.
“I’m so screwed here,” I whisper.
Suddenly, the Notes app closes as a call flashes. I blink at the name and cautiously answer, turning it to speakerphone.
“Hi?”
“I’m starting to think that I know you too well already,” Shade states.
“Why would you say that?”
“You sound anxious, Millie. This isn’t supposed to be nerve-racking. If it is, then we need to abandon the idea right now.”
I jerk forward. “Being anxious is a Millie experience, Shade. Sorry to disappoint.”
“So, it doesn’t have anything to do with what I asked you to do tonight?”
