Page 71 of Atlas & Miles
And when I finally came inside him, lips fused as we cried out together and he spilled a second load between us, I knew my heart would be his for always.
Chapter twenty-two
Atlas
Sunday
The blare of my alarm woke me from a restless sleep way too early. Why the fuck did airlines have early-morning flights? Being at the airport at least an hour before a seven am flight was not my idea of a good time. Miles had offered to drop me off at the airport, and that drive would take another hour of my morning, so yeah. My alarm had gone offway too fuckingearly.
Miles stirred beside me, and I cringed as I sat up, reaching over to brush some hair from his forehead. “Morning, baby. It’s too early. Go back to sleep for a few more minutes.” He’d only need to brush his teeth and throw on some clothes, after all.
My boy mumbled and groaned, but after a few moments of struggling to wake up, he shoved up to sitting and his eyes finally opened. “No way, Daddy,” he slurred, sleepy and adorable despite the fact my heart was breaking at the thought of leaving him. “I’m not wasting any of my last moments with you.”
I bit back a sob as I leaned in, pressing a closed-mouth kiss to his lips. “That’s very sweet, baby.” I glanced over at my almost-full suitcase I’d packed in the bits and pieces of time I’d managed to steal over the last thirty-six hours. I planned to come back to pack up my rental house in July, after I’d had some time to settle in at work. “Want to help me finish packing?”
Miles blinked again, scrubbing his hand over his face before nodding. “Okay.” He pushed to standing, and his naked ass—that I could barely see by the light of the waning moon was still red—came into view as he stood in place and stretched before circling the bed to get to the door.
Fuck, how could I leave him? Another sob choked me, but I shoved it down. I’d have plenty of time to cry on the plane. I just had to get through the next few hours.
I swallowed hard, hoping my voice came out strong despite the emotions threatening to drown me. “Will you make coffee while I shower, my sweet baby boy?”
He’d made it to my side of the bed, and at my words, he aborted his journey to the hallway and turned back to me, sweeping me to my feet and into a massive hug. I squeezed him so tightly I was almost afraid he’d break, but Miles was the strongest man I’d ever met. He could take me.
Even the thought of him taking me last night couldn’t pull me out of my spiral. And as our embrace lengthened, as we pulled each other ever tighter, a short, not-quiet-enough cry finally did break free.
At the sound, Miles leaned back, searching my watery eyes. “Oh, Daddy,” he offered, “it’s okay.”
My boy was consoling me despite the devastation in his eyes telling me his own heart was being torn in two. Yup. Definitely the strongest person I’d ever met.
I pressed up on my toes to plant a kiss on his lips. “It’s not, but I appreciate you saying that, baby boy.”
His own eyes were glistening. “I love you, Atlas.”
The lack of “Daddy” was stark, but I understood. This was how he was saying goodbye. “I love you, Miles. With my whole heart.”
He leaned his forehead against mine. “How do we do this? How do I let you go?”
I swallowed again, taking a step back. Then I drew in a deep breath and let it out before I answered him. “I’ll be back soon to pack everything up.”But not soon enough.“So this isn’t goodbye forever.”
Miles nodded. We’d discussed my tentative timeline for returning to Gomillion, but my gut churned as I speculated about what might happen in the meantime. Now that he’d finally come out, would Miles move on? Surely he wouldn’t find someone else that quickly, but my mind swirled with the possibilities, however unlikely.
I took a breath, steeling myself for what I needed to say next. It was way too fucking early in the morning for this conversation, but we were out of time. “And I think we need to take that time to decide what we truly want for ourselves without our love for each other clouding our judgment. We need to decide what we want to be to each other moving forward.”
Tears spilled down his cheeks as he nodded, bravery splashed across his shuddering bottom lip and effortful smile. “I already know who you are to me,” he admitted, his voice barely a whisper. “You’re my everything.”
My face crumpled then, and I couldn’t hold in the cries that wrenched from the very depths of me. Bawling, I reached up to cup his beautiful stubbled jaw. “Oh, my sweet baby boy, you’re my everything as well. For always.” I gasped around a sob. “Just not for right now.”
His answering cry broke me, and I slumped to the bed. He fell beside me with a small whimper of pain, his arms wrapping around my body as we wept together.
This wasn’t fair. Why would life let us finally find each other only to tear us apart?
My momma’s words echoed in my head, reminding me this would somehow work out if it was meant to be, but they were a hollow reassurance. Nothing made this better right now.
Not when I couldn’t breathe without him by my side.
I wasn’t sure how long it took our sobs to finally quiet, but I was certain we were running out of time. I glanced at my bedside clock and straightened, scrubbing at the tears under my eyes. “We need to get going, baby boy.”
Miles dried his own eyes, checking the time as well. He stood, pulling on a pair of boxer briefs, jeans, and a T-shirt from one of the drawers I’d given him in my dresser. “Okay, Atlas. You grab a shower, I’ll start the coffee. I’ll come brush my teeth in a bit.”
