Page 55 of Atlas & Miles
My adult brain knew their logic was sound. But the kid who’d lost his only supportive parent before he’d even become a teenager ached like his dad was dying all over again.
This was why I’d never let anyone in. I’d chosen a lifeless existence over this heartache. As much as I liked physical pain, emotional pain was so much worse. Horrific. Unbearable.
I didn’t want this. What was the point of love if it ended in heartbreak? But try as I might, I couldn’t make myself stop falling for them, stop loving them. I wanted to regret it, to regretthem, but I couldn’t. Fuck me, I just couldn’t.
We stayed on the floor through another cascade of tears, and Atlas sat on the carpet and pulled me into their lap until the last of my tears had dried.
And with that release came clarity.
If I was honest with myself, I wanted to go with Atlas. I wanted to take this huge leap for the person I loved and move across the country, sight unseen, to start a life—a real, full, adventurous, terrifying life—with them. But it’d taken me twenty years to build up the courage to come out, and I hadn’t even gotten a chance to do so before this wrench was thrown into my well-laid plans.
I wasn’t ready for this yet. I would have to let them go. But I was determined it wouldn’t take me another twenty years to figure out how to be brave again.
“Atlas,” I started, and they pulled away to search my tear-stained, puffy face.
It was time to speak my truth, even if they were leaving in a matter of hours. This couldn’t remain unspoken between us.
So I took a deep breath and uttered the truest words I’d ever spoken. “I love you.”
“Oh, my sweet baby boy,” they soothed, dragging my hair off my forehead and tucking it behind my ear. “I love you so much.”
My heart melted at their words even as it broke because of what I had to say next. “I love you, Daddy. But I can’t go with you. Not now.”
The hurt on Atlas’s face lanced through my chest, but I knew what I’d said was true. I couldn’t just drop everything and leave. I had things to do before I was ready to go with them, to be my best self for us, for them. For me.
I watched them swallow hard, and the mask that slowly crept over their face broke my heart into a thousand pieces. They were closing themselves off to me, and that hurt more than I’d expected.
I didn’t want them closed off, didn’t want walls between us. I wanted us to be a vulnerable and authentic couple, two people who were honest and open, who shared their lives in full.
People who couldn’t imagine a life without the other.
It killed me that Icouldimagine it. The images played unbidden in my mind as they pulled me into another hug: Atlas would get on that plane Sunday morning, and we’d share a few video calls once they arrived and got settled in, but then we both would get busy and the calls would become less frequent until we barely talked at all. And I’d struggle to endure the heartbreak until I became numb or found a way to wall off the hole in my heart that Atlas had created without meaning to.
They were a part of me now, and walking away from them, from us, was definitely going to kill me.
But despite knowing I wasn’t going with them, knowing we had an end date, I was still resolved to enjoy the little time we had left. So I pulled away, forcing a teary smile to my lips and catching their gaze. “I love you, Atlas, my Daddy, and I want to show you how much. Even though you’re leaving in a few days and we don’t know what will happen next, I want to show you how much you mean to me. Even if it breaks both our hearts.”
Atlas’s eyes were shining now, and I saw a stray tear threatening to ruin their eyeliner. The mask they’d tried to slide into place a minute earlier had disintegrated, and my heart swelled with gratitude. “I’d love that, Miles, my sweet baby boy.”
We stood together, their tears finally escaping as my Daddy undressed me slowly, carefully, sweetly until we were both bare in their darkened room. They turned on the lamp on the nightstand before guiding me to lay back once again. Then they straddled me, their naked ass smoothing over my dick, making it swell.
I moaned as I lengthened beneath them, as they undulated their hips over me, encouraging me to full hardness. As they moved, I could feel the swollen tip of my cock skate over their enticing hole, and I needed to be inside themnow. I needed to feel them holding me, caressing me, keeping me safe.
“Ride me, Daddy.” I wasn’t sure where my commanding tone came from, but by the look on Atlas’s face, they were into it.
“Yes, Sir.”
I winced as they stretched to the nightstand and produced our pump bottle of lube. We’d decided to forgo condoms months ago, as soon as we’d gotten our test results back—which had been the day we returned from our weekend in Atlanta. “I know my tone was a little aggressive, but please don’t call me ‘sir,’ Daddy. It sounds so wrong.”
They chuckled as they spun and settled on hands and knees over me, their ass spread open over my chest, a tempting buffet.I grabbed their hips and yanked their ass to my mouth before they had a chance to ruin their unique, perfectly musky taste with lube.
Atlas yelped as my tongue landed on their beautiful puckered hole. Though I’d eaten them out in the past, I’d never taken the time to enjoy this feast before. I was determined to have them whimpering, moaning, and begging for me to take them before I’d had my fill.
I started licking long stripes along their crack, keeping my tongue wide to cover as much area as possible. When their moans lessened slightly, I switched it up, using just the tip of my tongue to tease at their hole. The flesh twitched and flexed beneath my ministrations but didn’t relent, so I pushed a little harder until the tight ring gave way.
Atlas shouted as I entered them, tasting the edges of their rim until their pink hole spread wider for me, let me in.
Then I devoured them.
