Page 51 of Atlas & Miles
I swallowed hard, blinking away my morose thoughts as I accepted the drink from him with the sweetest smile I could manage. Miles studied me for a second longer than I would’ve liked—he was more perceptive than I appreciated at this moment, but that was just who he was—then smiled back. “I didn’t have another hand for canapés, but they looked delicious. Wanna check out the selection with me?”
My smile widened as I shoved the rest of my melancholy down. I needed to sleep on this decision, anyway, so I would enjoy this night with the man I knew I loved, even if it was one of our last. “Sounds good.”
Before I could turn away, Miles crooked his arm and held it out toward me. “Shall we?”
I slid my hand around his flexing bicep—fuck, I was so getting this man naked before the night was over—and grinned at him. His return award-winning grin made me once again feel like I’d won a prize. Because I had. I’d won the best prize of all: Miles’s devotion.
I didn’t deserve it, but that was tomorrow’s problem.
***
Miles stayed glued to my side the rest of the night, through a couple of icebreaker activities which we both failed miserably at and a young girl jamming an iPad in our face and shouting at us to vote for the new mascot. Which we promptly did, fearing for our lives.
Brad invited us to the afterparty at Timbers & Tallboys, so we both decided to go, for a little while, anyway. I was getting too old to party into the wee hours of the morning, but this was a special occasion, right?
And okay, yes, maybe I was delaying being alone with Miles. The man was too attentive for his own good, and he’d definitely suss out my odd mood if he hadn’t already. Then I’d have to tell him.
But dammit, I really wanted to fuck him tonight. Well, he could fuck me. I hadn’t cleaned out in the shower earlier because I wanted to top.
Speaking of my boy . . . “Miles?”
He glanced up from where he sat beside me in the wide booth, speaking to some of his former teammates from . . . well, I guessed football, given the tedious sports-related conversation I’d had little to add to. I wasn’t sure where Brad was. I thought I’d seen him hanging out with Finn and one of his former cheerleading teammates, Chloe, but both Brad and Finn seemed to have disappeared a few moments ago.
“Yes, D—” He swallowed as I coughed to cover a chuckle. I’d barely had anything to drink, and that was hours ago, so I wasn’t close to being drunk. I noticed Miles had kept his drinking light as well, so his near slipup wasn’t caused by that. Maybe we were both hoping for a scene tonight. “Yes?”
I knew his almost mistake wouldn’t have been heard by anyone around the table, given the dull roar of the crowd around us, but he blushed adorably anyway. “I think I’m getting tired. Are you ready to go?”
Miles’s eyes flashed with pure lust, and he nodded. Turning to the man next to him—I couldn’t remember his name—he rushed out a quick apology. “Sorry, Cory, Atlas and I are gonna go.”
His likely former teammate—Cory, apparently—eyed him, pinning us both in place. “Are you together or something?”
Miles froze beside me, and I waited for him to answer. We both knew I’d have no qualms about admitting the truth, so this was his moment.
Would he take it?
“N—” He cut himself off. “I-I just . . . we drove here together. Atlas is my ride.”
His face flushed as my stomach knotted, then he scooted out of the booth behind me and followed me outside.
Once we’d climbed into the car, Miles let out a huge sigh that I felt in my soul, and he slumped back in the passenger seat. “Atlas, I’m . . . I’m so sorry. That was . . . that was super shitty of me to even hint that we’re not together. You don’t deserve that.”
I pressed my lips together, fighting a tender smile at his earnestness. This man. “Baby,” I started, placing my hand on his leg and squeezing his thigh. “You don’t owe coming out to me or anyone else. You have to come out in your own time. And telling Cory we were together would’ve been outing yourself.”
He sighed and opened his mouth as if to speak, but I cut him off with a wave between us.
“No, baby. I appreciate you thinking of me, but you deserve to come out when you’re ready and not a second sooner.”
I watched his face carefully as he grimaced, clearly warring with himself as he considered how to respond. But then I saw the submission drape over him, and his entire body relaxed, melting into the cushioned seat. He closed his eyes serenely, and after a few moments, his eyelashes fluttered, then his eyes found mine. “Thank you, Daddy. I am sorry I froze, though. I do want to come out. Soon.”
My stomach clenched at the idea, so I pressed the ignition button and shifted the car into gear, headed for home. We drove to my house in relative silence, my brain swirling. What if he reallywasready to come out? What did that mean for me staying in Gomillion? Did that change the game plan?
What, in fact,wasthe fucking game plan, anyway? I had to take that job in Seattle—I had nothing lined up here, and I hadn’t had the chance to build up much in savings over the past few months. The severance would help, but I’d been on borrowed time the moment Jeb had broken the news to me.
I’d told myself that Miles wasn’t ready to come out for me, for us—which was a misnomer, anyway, because he shouldn’t come out for anyone but himself—but if he was intending to come out soon, that meant he wanted me in his life permanently. Didn’t it?
I pulled into my driveway and parked, killing the engine. With a steeling breath, I turned to Miles to start the conversation I was dreading but knew we’d need to have.
But my boy cut me off before I could say another word.
