Page 44 of Atlas & Miles
I took a long swig of my beer to figure out how to reply. Eventually, I decided he wouldn’t want the truth. “It’s too much to get into here.” I waved my hand around the eclectic, cozy bar.
Brad settled into his stool. “I’ve got nothing but time, man. Hit me with it.”
My mind flew through the myriad of conversations I’d had with Claudia where she encouraged me to make friends then my conversation with Lars today. I still wasn’t sure what coming out looked like, but with Brad? He’d always been cool, and people didn’t change that much. He’d be a good start.
I hoped.
“Uh, okay. Well, I started dating someone recently. My first partner, actually.”
“Congratulations! Who’s the lucky . . .” His eyes narrowed at me. “. . . person?”
I felt my cheeks flushing. Well, that was fucking embarrassing. “It’s Atlas St. James.”
I could see it took him a minute to place the name, but Brad’s eyes widened when he did. “Oh!” Another second passed as Brad processed the information, then a huge smile spread across his face. “I remember him. He’s—wait, is that the right pronoun?”
My heart warmed. I’d suspected Brad would be accepting, and I was glad to have that confirmed. “It is. And he’s . . . well, he’s amazing.” My smile was genuine but slipped quickly.
I felt Brad’s eyes on me. “That’s awesome, but . . . why does your face look like that?”
I snorted. “Like what?”
“Like someone stole your cat.”
“I don’t have a cat.”
It was Brad’s turn to laugh, and it bounced around the busy bar. “Alright, you got me there, but seriously, what’s wrong?”
I sighed, giving in. “I’m not out.” I glanced over at him, caught his gaze. “As gay.”
Brad’s expression didn’t give anything away, but I knew what he was going to ask as soon as he’d opened his mouth. “Oh, I had no idea. Did you know in high school?”
“Since I was eleven.”
This time, he gasped. “You knew all throughout high school? Damn . . . I know we didn’t hang out a ton, but I hope you felt like you could have told me if you wanted to.”
I waved him off quickly. “No, it wasn’t like that at all. I didn’t come out to anyone. Only my sister and Atlas know. And now you and my therapist as of today.”
He paused before saying, “I have to say I’m glad you told your therapist before me, but, truly, thank you for trusting me with that.”
I sipped at my warming beer for something to do. “You seemed trustworthy.”
When he didn’t respond, I glanced over at him. He was studying the napkin under his drink much more closely than he needed to. His next words were so low I barely heard them above the din. “I can’t believe you knew that early.”
I blinked and leaned forward, suspecting I knew what he was talking about but needing him to confirm it. “What do you mean?”
Brad cleared his throat, voice clearer. “I didn’t come out as bi until college.”
My eyes searched the shiny bar top. “How did it go?” I hated how small my voice sounded, how it shook. Fear had a funny way of rearing its ugly head when I least expected it.
“There were a few bumps along the way, but most people were cool with it—or just indifferent.”
I stared at my nearly empty glass, at the final dregs of beer on the bottom. “And the people who weren’t?”
Again, when he didn’t answer right away, I turned to him. He was staring at me this time. “Can I give you some advice?”
I nodded. Fuck knew I needed it. “Please.”
“Some people suck. Some people will react poorly. But that’s how you know who’s gonna stick around and who you can let go.”
