Page 59 of Becoming His Perfect Daddy
Ah, gotcha.
I laughed.The problem is that we’ve met a few times in person, total coincidences.
I waited several seconds for his reply.Okay . . .
We kissed last night.
He instantly sent back a double exclamation point emoji before typing out a longer reply.No shit? Congrats!
Thanks.I added a smiling emoji and sent it before typing out another text.But he doesn’t know the guy he kissed last night is the same guy he’s been messaging online for the past month—and emailing for almost a year.
His reply took a minute.And that feels deceitful?
I was nodding as I typed.Yes.
Got it. What’s your next step, then?
I sighed.I’d resigned myself to emailing him and telling him the truth just before you messaged me.
Oof. Sorry to interrupt.
Naw, man, it’s cool. I’m not even sure I’m brave enough to do it. Maybe I just need to tell him we can’t see each other anymore.
Are you in love with him?
I stared at the screen, blinking at the way he’d just thrown that out there. After I’d recovered, I slowly, one at a time, typed out three little letters.Yes.
Then don’t you owe it to him—and to yourself—to tell him the truth?
Maybe . . .
Listen, Sam. I know we haven’t known each other long, but I’ve learned the hard way that love cannot be real, cannot be lasting, unless everyone is honest about who they are.
Tears burned at the back of my eyes as he started typing again.
If you love this man, he deserves to know the real you. He can’t give you the love you deserve unless he does.
I swiped at my wet cheeks, blinking to clear my vision so I could read his next text.
Have you told him you’re trans?
The question stopped me short. I hadn’t, had I? I assumed he knew—I wore a bracelet, pin, or both daily—but he definitely didn’t know S.M.C. was trans. I’d deliberately kept that from him. It wasn’t because I was ashamed of my identity, but itwasbecause I was ashamed of my body’s imperfections. I could never be the perfect man for him.
That pause tells me you probably haven’t. And that’s okay—everyone should come out in their own time. But if you truly love this man, I encourage you to tell him who you are. Better yet, show him.
How do I do that?
Let him in. Show him the parts of you you’re ashamed of, that you hide from everyone else. Give him someone real to fall in love with, too.He added a winky emoji, and I smiled through my tears.
That’s good advice, thanks.
Anytime. Thanks for confiding in me—I know we haven’t known each other long, but I hope I helped.
You did. Thanks again, Oliver.
Of course. And when you and your man get together, you can name your first kid after me.
I started laughing as I typed.I don’t want kids, but I might consider a pet rock or something.
