Page 33 of Becoming His Perfect Daddy
“But . . .” I shut my mouth, unsure I wanted to say what was really on my mind. I didn’t know how much I wanted to divulge to a coworker. Even if he was my best friend.
“But . . . ?”
Fuck it. “But I can’t give him what he needs in bed.”
“And how in the ever-loving hell could you possibly know that?”
“It’s just . . . I just couldn’t. You wouldn’t understand.” I didn’t want to say more. Couldn’t say more.
Ever the long-suffering friend, Alex sighed. “Okay, dude. But listen—you need to get out of your head on this one. He. Is. Attracted. To. You. Explore that. Let it bloom. Give into it, if it gets that far. Don’t turn down a chance at love—or hell, even just a steamy hookup—because you don’t think your body is perfect yet.”
“Okay, I get it,” I replied, though that was a half-truth. I knew he was giving solid advice—I just didn’t want to talk about this anymore with Alex. He couldn’t possibly understand.
But I knew someone who could.
***
I opened my computer as soon as I walked in the door. I’d probably need a shower, but right now, I wanted to talk to Cameron. The one who knew me as S.M.C. The one who I could be honest with. Mostly.
Shit.
If he ever found out that the guy he’d just run into for the second time was the same guy who’d been emailing him over the past several months, he’d definitely be convinced I was stalking him. That we’d met by coincidencetwicejust seemed so unlikely, even if it was the truth.
I sighed.
I probably should just tell him. Call him up and confess my secret. That would be the prudent thing to do. But I didn’t want to give up what we had in either context—the way his pupils dilated when he looked at me, the way I felt I could tell him anything in our emails—I was too scared . . . and a little selfish. Not to mention that divulging the truth now would in no way convince him I was not stalking him. I had no rebuttal for that.
Selfish or not, I needed him. This wasn’t about a crush any longer; I’d met the man in real life twice, and despite his salty attitude, he was even more amazing than I’d expected.
I’d have to see this through. Get to know him better, like we said, but online. And hope he’d forgive me later on if he ever found out.
I drew in a breath as I pulled up my browser, replying to Cameron’s last email. It was time to take this to the next level.
Cameron,
I know, up to this point, that I haven’t told you much about myself. But I want to. I feel like we’re friends, and I need a friend right now.
Would you be willing to move this to a messaging app? I can give you my handle on—
I paused, considering what I wanted to say next. Did I dare bring up the Daddy’s Boy app?
I’d done a lot of exploring since Alex had brought it up all those months ago, and I was still working up the courage to attend an in-person meetup. But the few virtual meetings I’d attended had gone really well, so I’d created an account on the app and had been able to explore a side of myself I’d never dreamed possible.
I was almost certain I was a Daddy.
The resources I’d found on their website—Alex had been right about that—had given me the basics, but multiple sourcesseemed to agree that trying it out with someone would be the next step.
Maybe this was mine. Telling Cameron about the app would key him into the fact that I was into his presumed kink but not where I fit. But I supposed if I was going to share something about myself, that was something Icouldshare without letting him know his anonymous emailer was the same guy he saw in person just a few hours ago.
Besides, now he had my phone number, so that was out. Damn.
—the Daddy’s Boy app. It’s the same as this email address: booklover367. If you’re interested, look me up, and we can chat further.
Always,
S.M.C.
God, I hoped he was interested.
