Page 88 of The Love Rematch
“I know. I’m not telling you this because I think you would ever do that. I’m telling you this because I wanted to explain why I’ve been holding back, why I haven’t been ready. For a long time, I was so angry, but I’m not anymore. I’m not…anything. I’m ready to put the past in the past, to say goodbye and move on with my life.”
Emily looks over Cooper’s shoulder and finds Jake’s eyes immediately, as if she was aware of his presence the entire time. It suddenly becomes clear none of this speech was for the cowboy, or the show. It was for him.
It was goodbye.
Jake holds her gaze.
A wrecking ball obliterates his heart, but he doesn’t move. He just stares back, silently saying goodbye, because this is what he wants. For her to move on. For her to be with someone better, even if it breaks him into a thousand irreparable pieces.
She returns her focus to Cooper.
Jake clenches his jaw to fight the knot rising in his throat and the words threatening to spill out. He won’t ruin this for her. He won’t.
“Back to the envelope,” Emily says with a forced laugh. Some of the tension in the air eases. “I want to give this to you, Cooper. I want to take the next step with you. I want to see where the night brings us, but only if you can make me a promise. You have to promise me that I’m enough for you. Because I know what it’s like to be found wanting, to wake up alone because the other person needed more. My ex was prepared to stay with me if I was pregnant, but the second he found out I wasn’t, he left. Because I wasn’t enough for him on my own. He didn’t want me just for me. And I can’t go through that again.”
Wait, what?
Jake straightens. He looks around, wondering if he’s in a dream. Did everyone else hear what she said or did he imagine it?
That’s not—
You can’t honestly believe—
Cooper takes the envelope. He says something, but Jake can’t hear what it is. His ears are plugged. Sounds warp and morph as if he’s a hundred feet underwater, wading through the muck.
Not enough?
He thought it was obvious why he left. That it was about him. About who he was. About his past. About his shortcomings. Never about her.
She’s perfect.
She’s beautiful.
She’s— She’s—
A guilt unlike any he’s ever known rushes through him. It’s unimaginable that she could think for a second, let alone for seven years, that his leaving had anything to do with her and not everything to do with him.
He has to tell her.
He has to explain.
Jake jumps forward just as Fred yells, “Cut!”
The entire crew moves into action. Suddenly the platform swarms with people. He loses sight of Emily in the crowd. He runs forward, shoving a PA out of the way.
But he’s too late.
One of the camp guards throws an arm around his waist to hold him back. They’re only supposed to cross over the boardwalk in small groups. The guidelines are strict to ensure everyone’s safety. In the dark, there’s danger of lions or leopards hunting prey—humans potentially being that prey.
Ten feet ahead, Nina, a cameraman, and a sound guy follow Cooper and Emily to the dream suite at the far end of the camp. One guide leads them and one follows at their back. Jake can do nothing as he watches them walk away.
Twenty feet.
Thirty feet.
Forty feet.
Gone.
