Page 16 of Switchin' Lanes
7
Hollywood
It’sdays like today that make me wish I had my own place. After last night, I really don’t want to see or talk to anyone. Especially Diesel or Tink. I thought keeping my distance from them would help, but it hasn’t.
Tink was working the bar at the beginning of the party. I watched as hangarounds flirted with her. One after another. It’s nothing new, but it pissed me off more than usual. Then Diesel asked her to dance. Nothing about him and her together pisses me off or makes me jealous. Which confuses the hell out of me. I couldn’t take my eyes off them as they danced. The way her body moved against his. The way his hands explored her body. It was sexy as hell and was turning me on. I wanted to be part of it.
When Tech, Buzz, and I went outside to smoke, seeing Tink and Diesel got me all choked up. I know Tink saw me watching them dance. I was afraid of what she might say. So I ran back inside, directly to my room. All I could think about the rest of the night was the three of us together. Dancing together, going out on dates together, maybe even living together at some point.
I want and care about them equally. Diesel isn’t into guys though. At least not that I know of. I have at least been with a few over the years. I’ve always kept it a secret and have never had full-on relationships with them. But it’s been enough to know that I’m into men as much as I’m into women. As far as Tink and Diesel go, I don’t think I could have one without the other. That and not wanting the brothers to find out I like men is why I’ve stayed away from them.
I have some money saved up, so I grab my phone and search for apartments nearby. I could probably move in with Buster and Shade still, but they already have a full house. Both their Ol’ Ladies live with them, plus Buster and Cali have a baby now. I’m better off getting an apartment.
After twenty minutes of searching, I’ve found three apartments to go look at today. I climb out of bed and go about getting ready for the day. As I’m sliding my shoes on, my stomach growls.
“Fuck,” I mutter to myself. Still not wanting to talk to anyone, I figure I’ll stop to get something to eat before going to look at apartments. I walk out of my room, making my way out of the clubhouse. I’ve made it this far with no one stopping me. If I had to guess, I’d say most everyone is still sleeping.
“Yo, H.” Kicks’ voice stops me in my tracks. “Where ya headed?”
I turn to face him. “Goin’ to grab a bite to eat and run some errands.”
“Cool. Mind if I tag along?”
I hesitate before responding. “Uh, sure.”
A twenty-minute ride later, we’re pulling up to Rosie’s Diner. Neither of us talks until we’re inside and seated at a table.
“So what’s up? What errands do you have,” Kicks questions.
“Nothin’.” I glance over the menu. It’s after eleven, so they’re serving breakfast and lunch.
“I call bullshit,” he states. “Does it have anything to do about Diesel and Tink?”
My eyes shoot to his. “Why would it?”
“You tell me. You dipped out pretty quick last night when you saw them together. Wanna explain?”
“Nothin’ to explain.”
“You’re a shitty liar, bro.” He laughs. “What’s goin’ on? Whatever it is, you can talk to me. We’ve known each other forever.”
“I’m just tryin’ to work through some shit,” I say. “After we eat, I’m goin’ to look at apartments. I need somewhere to go that’smyplace. I’ve lived in the clubhouse for far too long.”
“I get that. We all need to get away some times,” he agrees. “I know that’s not what’s bothering you, but I’ll let it go. Just know I’m here to listen with no judgment any time you need it.”
“Thanks, Kicks.”
“That’s what brothers are for.”
After we eat, Kicks heads back to the clubhouse while I go check out the apartments. I end up liking the second one I see but have to come back Monday to fill out paperwork. I decide to ride around for a few hours to clear my head since it’s such a nice day.
I get back to the clubhouse around six o’clock. My plan is to have a beer or two with Saint then spend the rest of the night in my room. Though it seems fate has other plans for me. Diesel is walking out of the clubhouse as I climb off my bike. His outfit is crisp. He must be going to see Tink. There’s a pang in my gut at that thought.
“Hey, H. Have a nice ride,” he asks. It’s small talk. He’s trying to get me to talk to him, no matter what it takes.
“Yup.” I pop the p. I walk by him, toward the clubhouse.
“Hollywood, she misses you. She won’t say it, but I see it in her eyes.”
There’s a pause in my step as I take in his words. There’s a change in his tone. Hurt, maybe? Even so, I keep walking, because if I stop to talk I’ll end up saying the wrong thing.
