Page 52 of Ride or Die
"We have some spare rooms for occasions like this. We'll get you set up in one so you have your own space to go when you need it," Sketch tells Wren. Her cheeks flush pink.
"Thank you, Sketch," she responds. He goes off to get a room set up and she sits back down on the couch with Minx and Rivet.
"Where's Cali? Does she need anything," Minx asks. There's Lil Mama coming out again. Always more worried about those around her than herself.
"She's in Buster's room with Emma," I tell her. "Mouse said she fell asleep. I'll be sure to tell you if there's anything you can do for her."
I’m getting fucking antsy standing around. It must be recognizable because Diesel walks over to me.
"Need to get in the gym and work some of those emotions off?"
"Yeah, I think so."
We both head to our own rooms to change then we meet in the clubhouse gym. There are all kinds of equipment in here and a boxing ring for when we are in need of burning some energy. Which is what we both need right now.
We climb into the ring. Diesel wearing the boxing pads first. I jump right into throwing punches, pouring every ounce of anger and sadness into each hit. By the time I'm done, sweat is pouring down my face. For the first time, it didn't make me feel any better.
31
Cali
I wakeup around ten at night. Emma is still in here with me. She's sitting with her back against the headboard, watching something on TV.
"Hey, sleeping beauty. How are you feeling? Are you hungry or thirsty," she asks me. I thought this afternoon was a nightmare until my eyes burn from crying so much.
"I’m numb," I tell her honestly. The door opens and Mouse pops his head in.
"Hey, there," he says softly. "Can I get you anything?"
"No thanks, Mouse," I respond.
"Bring her some water and hot tea, please," Emma tells him. "Chamomile."
"You got it." Mouse closes the door, disappearing again.
"Do you want to talk about anything," Emma asks me. I climb out of bed and walk over to Ryan's closet. I pick out his Savage Riders hoodie and get some boyshorts out of the drawer he had cleared out for some of my clothes.
"No, I don't." I walk into the bathroom and close the door behind me. I turn on the shower before I take a long look at myself in the mirror. I step into the shower and instantly cry. Things were going so well. We were doing better than ever together. Everything we had is now gone. You never understand how fragile life truly is until it takes someone you love away.
I let myself cry for a few minutes, then pull myself together enough to do what I need to do and get out. Turning the water off and drying myself off, I move on autopilot. I towel dry my hair as best I can before brushing it out, put my clothes on and leave the bathroom.
"Mouse brought your water and tea. Drink the water first. You need to stay hydrated," Emma lectures me.
I drink the water and climb back in bed. I stare at the TV but I'm not actually watching whatever's playing. Monday is going to roll around and I'm going to have to go back to work despite what happened. The shop is reopening next week and I need to be there to make sure everything goes smoothly. I reach over and grab the tea. Chamomile tea will help me relax, which is exactly why Emma had Mouse make me some. I’m secretly thankful for it. I drink about half the cup before setting it down. Before I know it, I'm getting drowsy again. I slide down the bed until my head hits the pillow and drift off to sleep.
The next coupleof days are pretty uneventful until I tell Shade I'm going back to work.
"There's no fucking way you're leaving this clubhouse with the cartel still out there potentially hunting anyone in the club or associated with this club," Shade shouts at me. "Buster would fucking come back from the dead and kill me if anything happened to you."
"Shade, I've already spoken to my papa about this. He is going to provide a full security team to watch over the shop at all times, plus, I'll have two of my own bodyguards," I explain to him. "If it makes you feel any better, I can still come back here every night until things with the cartel are handled."
"Cali—" Shade starts to say something but is interrupted by Bull walking into the room.
"Shade, I've talked to the Pakhan myself. He's not going to let anything happen to his daughter," Bull tells him.
"You're more than welcome to come to the shop with me if it would help any," I suggest to him. He lets out a heavy sigh. This is hard on him too. Ryan may not have been his blood brother, but they were brothers none the less. "I have a business I need to be present for no matter how bad I'm hurting. Nothing any of us do can ever bring him back. Sitting here all day every day, doing nothing but crying over him is not what he would want me to be doing. Letting my baby, my shop, die with him is not what he would have wanted for me."
By the time I finish talking, tears are pouring down my face. Talking about Ryan, even the littlest amount makes me break down in tears. Shade walks over to me and wraps his arms around me, enveloping me in a hug.
