Page 12 of Ride or Die
“This doesn’t need to be said, but I’m going to say it anyway. Minx needs someone with her at all times. If it can’t be any of us, for whatever reason, it will be a prospect.”
Raze nods his head in response. His face giving nothing away. The cartel could come for her as leverage. She’s not just the club princess or Raze’s ol’ lady. She’s family to everyone in this room. No one would hesitate to keep her safe.
“I don’t want anyone going anywhere alone. Make sure all the women are aware and keep an ear to the ground. I want to know why these fuckers are here,” Bull growls out. “Does anyone have anything that needs to be discussed?”
Everyone shakes their head and Bull slams the gavel, signaling Church is over.
8
Cali
I’m pacing the kitchen,freaking out at the fact Ryan is here— in my bakery. I haven’t seen or spoken to him in five years and he decides to show up out of the blue?
“If you don’t calm the fuck down,I’mgoing to need a Xanax,” Bash says to me. I stop pacing and glare at him. The kitchen door opens and my heart rate picks up.
“They’re gone,” Wren tells me as she walks in. I calm down. “So, how do you know Buster?”
Bash crosses his arms over his chest. He’s heard this story multiple times. I let out a heavy sigh and lean my back against one of the counters.
“Short version— we met when we were nine. We were best friends through high school and decided to give dating a try. We had an argument one night about our futures which ended with him leaving. Never to be seen or heard from again. Until today,” I explain to Wren. Her jaw drops.
“No phone call, letter, anything?” She sounds genuinely shocked.
I shake my head. I had accepted this and have tried like hell to let go and move on. I thought I was making some kind of progress until I saw him. It made it clear how much I truly missed him. It also brought back all the pain from him leaving and I’m mad as hell at him. I never got the closure I needed. Maybe that’s what I need to be able to move on.
“That doesn’t seem like something Buster would do,” Wren adds.
“Well, he did,” I spit out and she winces. I hang my head and sigh. “I’m sorry, Wren.”
“Oh, Cali.” She walks over to me and wraps her arms around me. I hug her back. My phone vibrates in my pocket, causing me to pull away from her. I take it out and I have a text.
From Minx:Buster said to tell you to look for Alaska.
My heart drops. In middle school and high school, before Ryan dropped out, we got a little creative with how we would pass notes. My favorite book was and still is Looking For Alaska by John Green. Ryan went to a used book store and bought a worn-down copy of it. He made it into a hollow book and we would fold our notes, put them in the book and pass it to each other. Sometimes, he would put the book in my backpack or my locker when I wasn’t around and would tell me to look for Alaska.
“Cali, are you okay?” Bash moves to my side.
“Yeah, I, uh . . . I just need to go check for something.”
I walk out of the kitchen and go straight to the books. I scan the shelves until my eyes land on the one I’m searching for. I grab it and fan through the pages. It stops somewhere in the middle where, sure enough, there’s a note. I recognize the handwriting as Ryan’s. He starts the note by calling mesólnyshka, small sun. It’s a term of endearment he has used since we were younger. He used to tell me I was the light in his world of darkness. He tried to learn Russian multiple times, but only a little bit actually stuck.
I’m sorry for showing up out of the blue, but I had to see if it was actually you. I’m sorry for what happened last time we saw each other and for never reaching out to you. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I hope you’ll give me a chance to apologize face to face.
He signed it with a heart and put his phone number underneath it. I fold the note again, put it in my pocket, and place the book back on the shelf. I keep my hand on the book for a beat, lost in my thoughts. What did he mean he had to see if it was actually me? How long has he been back? Where did he even go? I have so many questions I want to ask him, but I’m not sure if I can face him.
“Find what you were looking for?” I jump and turn around.
“Holy shit, Wren! Don’t go sneaking up on people,” I tell her.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” she laughs out. I give her a small smile.
“What were you looking for,” Emma asks as she walks over to us.
“Ryan left me a note with his phone number,” I tell them. They both stare at me with wide eyes.
“Are you going to text him?” Wren blurts out.
“I’m not sure. Maybe, so I can get the closure I need,” I say.
