Page 54 of Off the Grid
“Nothing, Leo,” she cooed, but the words were too soothing to be real. McKenzie kept her palms pressed against his chest, holding him down and watching him.
“Did I hit you?”
“By accident.”
But in the back of his mind, all he heard was the slap of his father’s fist striking his mother and the piercing pitch of her cry. Only this time, it was his fist and McKenzie’s scream striking like an knife to his heart.
Oh God.
Oh God.
Leo rolled out from underneath her and set his feet on the floor, leaning over to cradle his head in his palms. He tried to breathe but his lungs held no air. His chest was empty. His throat burned.
I hit her.
Oh God.
I hit her.
It was his worst fear come to life, his greatest nightmare—only this time it was real.
I’m no better than him.
I— I—
“It was my fault, Leo,” McKenzie murmured, pressing a warm hand to his back.
He flinched. “No. It wasn’t.”
Fue mi culpa, Emilio, he could hear his mother say in the back of his mind.It was my fault. You know your father.It had been the same every time. She shouldn’t have said this, or done that, or made this, as though the blame could have somehow been on her shoulders. But it was his father’s fault, his father’s demon, his father’s lack of control. And this time, it was Leo’s. He never should’ve fallen asleep. He never should’ve stayed in the bed. He never should’ve let any of this happen in the first place.
Leo stood, or at least he tried to, but his legs gave out from underneath him and he ended up sliding to the floor instead. The metal bed frame dug painfully into his back.
“Leo,” McKenzie said, her voice firmer this time, but he didn’t look. “This isn’t some battered-woman thing. It actually was my fault. You were thrashing in the sheets and it woke me up. I thought you were having a seizure or something, so I jumped on your chest and you acted out of instinct. I should’ve known better—you’re a marine, for one, so your body is trained to react. Not to mention that you probably have a hundred pounds on me. I wasn’t thinking, and you were asleep. You never could’ve known.”
“Don’t make excuses.”
“I’m not.” Her voice was closer this time. Soft footsteps made their way around the bed, loud in the silence. McKenzie knelt before him, but Leo refused to look up. “Do you really think I, of all people, wouldn’t tell you if I thought you were being an asshole? It was an honest mistake, Leo, and I’m fine. And now I know not to touch you if it happens again.”
It won’t happen again.
He didn’t answer. He couldn’t. His muscles were clenched so tight his entire body was racked with spasms.
“Leo.”
He was too afraid to move, too afraid of what he might do.
“Emilio.”
He lifted his face, meeting her eyes. McKenzie gently cupped his cheeks. His jaw was clenched beneath her fingers, and no matter how many times she ran her thumb over his skin, it didn’t ease. She knelt before him, refusing to let him glance away. He’d forgotten they were both still naked until he saw the gentle glow of moonlight against her curves. The centers of her eyes were lit with a dusting of bright stars.
“Look at me and hear what I’m saying,” she murmured, her voice calm and her words clear. “I’m tougher than I look, Leo. The past few days must’ve shown you that. It takes a lot to scare me—a hell of a lot more than this. You’ve saved my life more times than I can count, so my mind is pretty made up on the type of person you are. This hasn’t changed that. In fact, it’s probably reinforced it. I actually think you’re the one who’s confused. I’m not a princess in an ivory tower. I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m not made of porcelain, Leo. I’m not so easy to break.”
You are, though, so easy to break. Not your spirit maybe, but other things.He held her stare. Deep in the shadows of her pupils, he saw other scenes play out, ones he was thankful McKenzie would never have to see with her own beautiful eyes.You have no idea how much damage two human hands can do. But I know. I’ve lived it.
McKenzie pushed her brows together as though reading the thoughts in his head, then dropped her hands from his cheeks. She cleared the emotion from her face and cut the sympathy from her voice, trying a different tactic instead. “Come on. You’re trembling.”
He was numb. He hardly felt her touch as she grabbed his arm with both hands and pulled him to his feet. He followed blindly, unsure where she’d taken him until he heard a shower turn on. The water spat and hissed in the dark.
