Page 58 of Hysteria Rises
She flinches, making a face. “No. Two of you came down to the cell. He got rid of them.”
I knew this much. Those fucking psychos. Gannon, I can’t do much about. But Dragan and I… we still need to have a word about all this mess.
My eyes roam her face, finally connecting with hers as she continues. “After, I was upset, frustrated. And Arrow came into the cell to stop me from hurting myself.”
A crease forms down the middle of my forehead. Arrow hadn’t mentioned this part.
She lets out a strangled breath. “I— I asked him to stay. What he did after I fell asleep, though…” She shrugs, her shoulders lifting the slightest bit. “I wasn’t lying. I didn’t wake up until Kiefer pulled me from the cell. Took me outside and told me I could go.”
I rub my hands over my face, digesting that information. “Was Malakai there? To hear what Kiefer told you?”
She blinks, her brow creasing as she shakes her head. “I didn’t see him until after the other two had already caught me.”
Fuck. Mal was telling the truth. I set that information aside to consider later. I’ll talk to Arrow and Crossabout their thoughts on whether or not we can actually trust Mal. He’s always been on the outside of our group because his attitude is nothing any of us wanted to deal with. But now, I’m beginning to wonder what’s really at the heart of his rude remarks and foul temper. With a sigh, I gesture to her. “Anything else?”
She winces as a shudder rolls through her. “And then… we were in that room.”
The way her lip trembles sends me careening into that moment with her. I don’t know how long I’m lost to the memory. The weight of the whip in my hand. The watchful eyes of the Collective on us. Arrow’s suffering. Hers. I swallow past the hard lump wedged inside my throat, and a groan rumbles there at the base, but I hold it in.
“Hayze?” she whispers.
I hardly hear her, but when her fingertips brush over my hand, I jerk, looking down to find her staring up at me, all glossy-eyed. She dampens her lip, then hesitantly tries to squeeze my forearm.
I grab her hand to stop her, heat blistering under the surface of my skin at her touch.
“I understand why they thought I deserved to be punished.” Her face colors, and her breath catches. “And I get Arrow’s correction, too.” With her teeth scraping over her plush bottom lip she slowly shakes her head while maintaining our connection. “But I don’t understand why they punishedyou.”
I’ve never released her hand, and without realizing I’m doing it, mine tightens on hers until she gasps.Our eyes lock, and the growl in my voice surprises even me. “You’rewrong.” The moment the words pass my lips, I know it’s a lie. And so does she.
Silently watching me, she doesn’t even attempt to pull free of my hold. Instead, boldly, she murmurs, “Tell me how it wasn’t a punishment for you to have to beat your friend, and I’ll be quiet.”
Her calm observance crashes into me with a force so strong it knocks me off balance. My jaw tightens, and my voice comes out full of grit. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“I want to.” Her bright cobalt eyes search mine.
I know it’s unwise to speak freely, but I can’t fucking resist. I finally feel like I’m getting somewhere, that if I keep her talking maybe I’ll understand. The only explanation I can give is what I’ve been taught from birth. My truth rasps from me. “It wasn’t a punishment. It was a privilege. Anhonor.”
Disbelief rushes over her features. It doesn’t sit well with me.
“I was forced to watch what you went through.” She holds up a hand when she eyes the way my jaw is twitching hard, then haltingly whispers, “You were in as much pain as Arrow was.”
I huff out a hard breath, looking away. Maybe that was a mistake.It’s not true.
She shakes her head. “Maybe not physical pain. But I could see it in your eyes. He’s your friend. You didn’t want to do that to him.” Before I can pull myself together, she finishes, “I don’t claim to knowhow everything works or who he is to you. But it seems as if he’s more like a brother. And you were required to hurt him. They made you do it.”
“My father”—my voice catches—“he isn’t coming back.” At my certainty, she flinches, but I continue, needing to get it out. “I’ll take over one day for him. The Collective asked me to act in my father’s place. It was my duty to deal with Arrow.” My guts are all twisted up, and I don’t know why it’s important to me to make her understand.
“But why?”
Frustrated, I grasp the back of my neck and tug hard on it. “Because I’m his son. The firstborn in all of Dark Falls Hollow. This place is my legacy.”
A flicker of understanding, but also something else I can’t quite place crosses her face. “The first son.”
“Yes.”
“But why would he just leave? Where is he?” she whispers.
My eyes crash shut. “I don’tknow.”
