Page 22 of Wait in the Truck
Wanting to investigate, I lead my mare to the nearest pen instead of letting her out to pasture for the night. “Stay here, Cruella,” I whisper softly, patting her flank before I start toward the cattle shed. Each step feels like I’m walking through quicksand, the weight of suspicion anchoring me to this spot, yet some dark curiosity spurs me on.
As I near the entrance, the noise grows clearer, and my heart hammers in my chest like it’s trying to break free. A pungent smell hits me—the stink of sweat and something foul that turns my stomach. I peer around the corner, and Lord Almighty, there isn’t enough whiskey in the world to unsee what greets my eyes.
Samuel, his backside as hairy and pale as a moonlitweasel, is perched atop a stepladder. His jeans are slung low around his thighs, and he’s thrusting into one of the cows like he’s digging for gold in the poor beast with his rancid penis. The sight of it grips my senses like a vise, and I can’t tear my eyes away no matter how much I want to.
“Ah, Sage.” He groans out my name, and bile rises in my throat. It’s a desecration, him using my name while doing… that.
I freeze, shock rooting me to the spot. My breath catches in my chest, and then it happens—a choked sound rips from my lips as loud as a gunshot.
I’ve never seen terror paint a man’s face the way it does Samuel’s when my gasp slices through the silence of the cattle shed. He whips around with the speed of a rattlesnake spooked in its coil, and his eyes—those beady little marbles—find mine. His face drains of color, horror etching deep lines into his weathered skin as he realizes his dirty secret’s out in the open.
“Aw, hell…” he mutters under his breath, fumbling like a calf on ice as he steps off the ladder, trying to cover himself up. But his jeans, they’re stubborn, caught around those hairy thighs of his, leaving him half-naked and fully shamed.
My boots don’t move quick enough; I’m still rooted to the spot, my mind reeling from the depravity before me. Panic sets in, like a newborn foal lost from its mama, as I turn on my heel, aiming to bolt.
“Where d’you think you’re goin’, missy?” Samuel snarls, voice laced with a threat as thick as two planks. He’s on me fast, heavy hands grabbing at me, fingers digging into the tender flesh of my neck. The wall of the shed becomes my backrest, cold and unforgiving as he slams me against it.
“Keep quiet ’bout this, ya hear,” he hisses, pulling a blade from his pocket, its edge catching the fading light. Bringing it to the column of my throat, he grits, “You don’t wanna know what I’ll do to you if you go running that pretty mouth.”
My heart’s pounding, a wild mustang galloping in my chest, as I choke out words that taste like dust and defeat. “Who… who am I gonna tell?”I have no one to confide in.My best friend is unreachable while she’s off touring the country with her new album. Things between Kade and I are complicated. And Rhett, well, what would I even say?Hey dude, Sammy has been fucking the cows—would he even believe me? My stomach churns at the visual, and each word struggles to break free. “My dad… he’s not even here; he’s across town looking after a sickly animal.”Oh fuck, I shouldn’t have said that, because who knows what else he might do now that I’ve reminded him I’m here by myself.
He’s close, too close; his breath foul, and his grip tightens like a noose. But desperation gives birth to strength, and I’m not about to let this varmint think he’s got the upper hand.
“Get off me!” I manage to spit out, pushing against him with all the grit I have. My elbow connects with something soft—his gut, maybe—and he staggers back, winded. I don’t waste a second. My legs find their purpose, and I tear across the yard, like a wild horse bolting from danger.
As I make my escape across the gravel, Cruella watches from her paddock, big eyes wide as if she knows, as if she recognizes the kind of monster we’ve got hiding in human skin on this ranch. She whinnies low, a sound full of sorrow, but I can’t stop to comfort her.
The house looms ahead, a beacon of safety, or so I fool myself into believing. I slam the door behind me, hard enough to rattle the windows, and make a beeline for the bathroom. My sanctuary. My confessional.
I lock the door with trembling fingers, a feeble attempt at keeping the world at bay. My reflection in the mirror is pale and haunted. There’s no trace of the girl who used to ride across these fields with dreams bigger than the Idaho sky.
I drop to my knees, hugging the porcelain god like an old friend, and surrender to the convulsions shaking my body. Everything comes up—the coffee from this morning, the bile of disgust, the fear curdling in my belly.
Sorrow carves tracks down my cheeks, a river cutting through a barren landscape. I’m sobbing, the sounds foreign and ragged in my throat, as I purge the sickness from inside. Some rot runs deeper than the physical,festering in places where hands can’t reach and my tears can’t cleanse.
“Maybe I should leave,” I whisper between heaves, the words a prayer, a curse, a plea. My home, my land—it’s tainted now, marked by a darkness as black as the coal. But it’s mine. It’s Jonah’s. I hate that he left me, and I hate that he keeps me here long after he’s gone.
Once the retching subsides, I sit back on my heels, spent and hollow. My gaze drifts to the small window above the sink, the sky outside painted in strokes of orange and purple as day gives way to night. It’s beautiful and serene, a stark contrast to the ugliness that’s wormed its way into my life over the last few weeks.
“Tomorrow,” I promise myself, my voice barely a whisper, “Tomorrow I’ll figure out what to do with Samuel.”
Tonight, I’ll let the shadows hold me, hoping against hope that when the sun rises, it’ll shine light on a path that leads me away from this nightmare I’m trapped in.
SAGE
14
Some say muckingout the stalls in the horse stable is disgusting work. I don’t usually mind it so much, though. The process of cleaning then refreshing everything is soothing to me. And right now, I desperately need that. I pick up the pitchfork to loosen a bale of straw. I love horses, so caring for them isn’t a hardship to me, but it gives me an escape… and a lot of alone time to think. That’s always been a good thing… until recently.
I’ve been overanalyzing every nuance of my life and the recent situations I’ve found myself in. My dad has forever been an issue. Without Jonah here to take over the family ranch one day, I feel a sense of duty. As much as I’d like to leave this place behind, I can’t. I’m tethered to the land and all the tragedies it holds.
For starters, it’s only been a week since the night Toby’s apologetic ass took off and left town, proclaiming that he’ll fixhimself. He said he’d do better. But at this point, the bastard has probably shacked up with someone else and is in the process of gaslighting her, too. I pause. Because down deep, I was never oblivious to what an ass my ex was. My lips pinch tightly together. Whatever. It doesn’t matter. I don’t need any more apologies out of Toby. In fact, there’s a part of me that hopes he doesn’t come back. I never want to see him again.
I could say the same about Samuel. Only he’s still here. And I’ve been over and over in my head what I’ll do when Dad returns. Will he believe me if I tell him what I suspect about the books or the depraved act I caught our ranch hand engaging in? Will he side with a man he obviously doesn’t know as well as he thinks he does? I have no idea how to handle it. Every time I think about my discoveries, both the fishy bookkeeping and what he did to that poor cow, I get so sick. My stomach rolls uncomfortably. When I think back to the look in his eyes, I admit the plain truth to myself: Samuel scares me. He really does. And I think he could follow through on his threats if I were to step a toe out of line.
Unfortunately, Samuel and Toby are not my only problems. My dad frightens me, too. My eyes crash shut. The men in my life come with the cost of my peace. I’m living in a nightmare, and I have no clue how to wake myself up.
Knowing there’s no easy way to evict my demons, Iexhale carefully, getting back to fixing the bedding in the stall.
