Page 47 of This Is Love
I hate that taking Rya to get food turned into a misadventure that neither of us was prepared for. Hate even more that we put Logan through all that. But I am glad to know a little more about what makes my stepbrother tick. I wish I could have fuckin’ been a fly on the wall at that dinner with my father.
Halfway down the hall, I stop, spinning on my heel, and head back in the other direction. I don’t have a fully formulated idea of why I’ve done it, but there’s something inside me that isn’t going to rest until whatever’s prodding at my brain comes out.
As I throw open the door, I’m greeted by an empty hallway, so Logan’s either gone into Rya’s room with her or he’s in his already. It doesn’t much matter to me either way, I simply have this feeling in my gut that I have something more to say. It’sfucking weird, but whatever. With a shrug, I stop at his door and rap lightly.
I wait impatiently, my heart having some sort of seizure in my chest while I listen for footsteps on the other side of the door. Sure enough, a moment later, the door swings open.
Levi stands there, rumpled and bleary-eyed. “Hey. I turned down my music.”
My brows draw together, confused by his statement, as there’s no music playing in the room. Giving myself a quick shake, I hold up a hand. “I don’t give a shit about whatever noise you’re making.” I peer over his shoulder. “Have you seen Logan?” Maybe he stayed with Rya, after all. My gaze wanders down the hall toward her room before returning to him.
“Yeah.” He stops to yawn, then gestures with a tip of his head. “He’s right there.”
I shift, twisting around to find Logan staring at me, toothbrush and toothpaste in his hand. “Oh, there you are.” I press my lips together and shoot him a tight smile.
“Yeah. I’m right here.” His head cocks to the side. “Did you need something?”
“Sorta.” I grimace. Logan’s pale-blue eyes search mine, but I imagine it’d be hard for him to figure out what the hell I want to talk to him about, seeing as how I don’t know myself.
The soft chuckle Levi lets loose has us both turning our heads. He juts his chin. “I’ll leave you all to it.” Ruffling his hand through his sandy-blond hair, he shrugs. “Be back in… twenty. Is that long enough?”
My brows dart together as I step aside to let him pass. Logan nails him with a fist to the bicep that has Levi straight-up cackling as he walks away.
“What the fuck is with him?” Following his retreat, I shake my head.
“Who knows. Come on.” He waves me into the room, shutting the door behind me and putting away his toiletries before propping his hands on his hips. “What’s up? You’re acting fucking weird.”
My forehead pinches as I stare at him. I don’t know how to begin to navigate the confusion in my head. Clearing my throat, I go for something easier first, even though I wish it wasn’t anything we had to talk about at all. “I wanted to know what you thought about contacting the campus police to let them know what happened with the car. I can’t see how it’d be linked, but…” I throw out a hand. “I don’t know. It’s just a thought.” I can almost see the wheels turning in his head as he tosses what I’ve said around in there.
Logan combs his fingers through his hair. “Shit, I don’t know. Let’s see what the shop says about the damage and then decide.”
Looking up at him from under heavy-lidded eyes, I nod. “Yeah. Okay.”
There’s a strained pause. I don’t know that I had another reason to track him down after we just spent the entire afternoon together, but here we are. My chest tight, I’m on the verge of leaving when he clears his throat.
“I, uh. I talked to my mom. Your dad was taking a phone call, so he isn’t aware of any of this. Can I trust you not to say anything to him?”
I huff out a laugh, giving him a wry smile. “That’s a stupid fucking question.”
The grin he shoots back at me is lopsided. “Yeah. Sorry.” He exhales hard, then shakes his head. “Jax… I really don’t think she knew the divorce wasn’t final.”
I stare at him for several long seconds, then, as if I have to remind my lungs to function, all the air whooshes out of them at once. Several more breaths exit audibly as I attempt to gather myself, unsure what I should say. My eyes crash shut.
I’m still trying to process when suddenly Logan has his arms around me, holding me fiercely while I shake in utter disbelief. How can everything I’ve ever believed about my stepmother have been so terribly wrong? How can my anger have been so misplaced?
And how is the guy I hated with everything in me capable of setting aside all my bullshit? How does he want any-fucking-thing to do with me?
23
RYA
My final classof the day is done, but we’ve been promised the results of the auditions would finally be up this afternoon. It feels like an eternity we’ve been waiting to hear about them, but I swear these last ten minutes have been the worst of the torture. There’s not much to do… except be patient. Well, that andthink, which is just fantastic because I have no shortage of things to ponder lately. The only problem is some of what’s on my mind isn’t anything I want to spend extra brain power on. I’d rather set it aside where it can’t send me into a freak-out. Ignore, ignore, ignore. I’m good at that. Until I’m not. Then whatever is weighing on me overtakes my thoughts and sends me under.
It certainly isn’t helping that since Monday’s incident with Jaxon’s car, things have been strangely calm. But perhaps it’s only because my life has been so crazy that it seems that way. So now, when there is zero chaos, it leaves me feeling the tiniest bit on edge. I’ve been in a constant cycle of waiting for whatever form the shitstorm will take next. It’s eating at me.
The more I allow myself to dwell on it, the more anxiety will creep in, and then I’ll be right back where I started—an uneasymess. Is it possible that whoever has been plaguing me has simply tired of it?
That’d be great because without the animosity raging between the guys, things have been good. So good. They have a quiet way of demonstrating their growing feelings. A touch. A lingering gaze. An undeniable chemistry that practically sends sparks shooting through the air. It’s so unexpectedly beautiful, I could cry. I drink in every last bit of it, wanting more than anything for the way we need each other to mean as much to them as it does to me. I’m happy with how we’re progressing together. It’s better than I ever could have hoped for.
