Page 11 of This Is Love
“Yes, of course.” The doctor gives him a reassuring smile. My gaze slips to the nurse who has begun to buzz around the room. She’s got a tray of instruments that she’s preparing, a few of which have me raising my eyebrows, my stomach twisting into ugly knots. Christ,fuck.
I turn, my eyes connecting with Rya’s. The desire to make sure she knows I’m here for her, too, is overwhelming. My gaze shifts to the doctor and nurse who now patiently wait. They need me to get the fuck out of the way so they can do theirjobs. I blow out a breath and rake a hand through my hair as my feet carry me over to the bedside, and I prop my hip on the edge to carefully take Rya’s exhausted face between my hands. Staring into her eyes, I attempt to steady my breathing while she trembles under my touch. “You’re going to be okay, pretty girl. I’ll be waiting for you on the other side.”
She has this desperate, anguished look in her eyes. “No matter what?”
I nod. “I’ll be here. Promise. Remember what I told you? I always keep my word. I don’t say shit I don’t mean. I’m not going anywhere.”
Swallowing hard, she nods as a tear slips down her cheek. “Okay.” A deep breath gusts from her lungs, and she wets her lips as I release her, only to pull her body to mine in a tight hug. Deep inside, I ache for her, the burn in my chest threatening to disintegrate my heart and turn it into nothing more than ash.
With regret, I finally let her go, tearing my gaze away. I have to do it, because there’s no way I’ll be able to leave her if I look into her eyes for another second. I heave out a breath as I slip through the doorway. Behind me, the ominous click of the heavy door shutting sounds like gunfire. I close my eyes and clamp my jaw tightly, dropping my head back on my shoulders as I struggle to maintain control.Fuck. I’m gonna goddamn crack for this girl. I can’t afford to let her crawl inside my head like this.
6
JAXON
From somewhere offto my right, a strangled noise reaches me through the pounding of the blood, heavy in my skull. It crashes with such violent force, it’s a wonder I hear anything else. My brow furrowing, I exhale hard and pry my eyes open again, swiveling toward the sound.
Logan leans against the wall about eight feet from me, his hands covering his face as his chest jerks with undeniable angst. My teeth grind together as I study him in full-on breakdown mode. Three quick strides and I’m in front of him, hooking his elbow, and yanking him down the hall with me.
“The fuck, Jaxon,” he bites out, trying to pull his arm away, but before he can, I’ve thrown open the door of a supply room and shove him inside. Not bothering with the light switch on the wall, I let his eyes glitter angrily in the dark as his chest heaves. “Leave me the fuck alone.”
“Tell me how you losing it out in the hall is going to fucking help her. You’ve gone all soft. That’s not what she fucking needs right now,” I growl. Never mind that I almost lost it not two minutes ago. Never mind that I feel the same fucking way.
“Shut the fuck up. You couldn’t possibly care about her the way I do.” He charges forward as if he’s going to blow past me, but I catch him by the shirt, pivot, and slam him into the wall beside the door. He gasps, mouth dropping open.
I lean in close, my lips a hair’s breadth from his. “I really think you don’t know jack shit about me.”
“Are you always this fucking angry about every goddamn thing?” His blue eyes flash in the darkness, piercing mine.
“It’s always better to be angry, dickweed. Doesn’t do any good to spiral.”
He heaves out a breath, aiming a flinty gaze at me. “I thinkallthis is you spiraling.You’vebeen fucking spiraling since the day we met.”
My fingers clench his shirt, and I pull him forward before thumping him back into the wall again. His lip curls, but he doesn’t say anything about it, doesn’t let a drop of complaint surface. He simply eyes me in this knowing way he has—like he can see right inside to all the parts of me that are at war.
Ferocious indignation roars through me, and I narrow my eyes. “Like I said, you don’t know me. You don’t know fucking anything.” I slam my lips down on his, taking everything I can from him. Swallowing his breath, stealing his anguish, ripping his dignity from him—and using all of it to fuel my fire. I release my hold on his shirt, pressing my chest to his, and pound my tightly clenched fists once on the concrete wall on either side of his head. The effect jars my bones, which is kinda what I’d intended. Anything to shake me free of this hold he’s gaining over me.
It doesn’t fucking work. My lips torment and my teeth gnash as I grind against his body from mouth to thigh. The degree of his surprise is only matched by the ardent kisses erupting between us as I shove my tongue between his lips, licking wildly as I search for something I’m unsure I’ll ever truly find. Maybewhat I’m seeking is proof that this thing between us means absolutely fucking nothing. But the truth that I’ll admit to myself is this: inside these moments of insanity are the only places I’ve found salvation in a very long time. It’s fucking terrifying.
He groans into my mouth, his arms wrapping around my torso. Fingers dip under the hem of my shirt, searching for skin, and when he finds it, he drags them down my back, clawing at my flesh.
His actions ignite something else within me—the need to take and possess and fucking forget. I don’t want to think about this shit between us and everything that’s happening down the hall. I can’t focus on a damn thing except what’s transpiring right here in this sterile-smelling room. A room with no lock. A room that anyone could enter at any time.
My blood roars like a demon screaming inside my veins. What we’re doing is madness. Take, take, take. I drink from him in deep, greedy pulls, my tongue waging war as it feverishly strokes against his. The rhythmic yet chaotic thumping of his heart against my chest has me frantic with want.
Anything. Anything that will make me forget.
“Fuck, Jaxon.” Logan’s hands slip to my sides before shoving between us to unbutton my jeans and rip my zipper open. One quick yank and my pants are down around the tops of my thighs and his hand is on my cock. I’m painfully hard, and the grip he has on me is a high I didn’t know I needed. Gasping, I let the hot blood in my head swirl. I’m mindless, enthralled by the way he’s expertly handling my dick as if it were his own.
“I don’t get why I let you do this to me,” Logan mutters. “But I need this. Need something to take me out of my fucking head.”
“Shut up,” I mumble against his mouth before diving in for another deep kiss. I don’t need him trying to make sense of what I’m doing, because I don’t even fucking understand it. My fingers drift into his tousled hair, and I get great satisfactionfrom the grunt I pull from him when I tug on it, holding his mouth to mine.
A moment later, though, it’s me letting a choked sound spill from my lips. He’s stroking me as best he can manage with his hand and my dick caught between our demanding bodies. His other hand, though, has found purchase on my ass cheek, and he’s using it to hold me to him. We crash together over and over, grinding and groping and struggling. Every action of mine elicits one in him, whether it’s a savage nip of my teeth to his neck or a vicious jerk of my cock.
His thumb swipes my slit, smearing pre-cum over the head of my dick. I might be burning alive at his touch, at the rough feel of his hand on me, but fuck it. Fuck the part of me that screams I should put a stop to this. I’d be a fucking liar if I said I wanted him to stop. The stubble on his cheek scrapes over mine before he finds my mouth. Savagely clamping down on my bottom lip, he opens his eyes, and we stare at each other. The fire flashes, treacherously close to consuming us; the battle between us furious and seething. Desperation leaches from me, though I’ll never tell him how much I fucking need every bit of this.
As I’m thrusting, his hand has been hot on my skin, gripping my ass. A second later, though, he lets go, bringing his fingers to my mouth. “Suck,” he demands, nudging his fingertips at the entrance to my mouth. Eyes flashing, I consider taking them into my mouth and fucking biting them. But the minute I taste his skin, I close my lips around them and swirl my tongue. He lets out a garbled, unholy sound before exhaling hard. “That’s it. Make sure they’re wet.”
