Page 41 of This Is Love
“My mom—” Logan’s voice catches.
Rya shivers, anxiously watching the volley of our conversation. The temperature has dipped substantially now that the sun has gone down. I hate that she’s worried, and I reach for her hand, hoping to dispel some of her nerves. “You guys should go. I’ll be fine.”
Eyes bright, Rya shakes her head as she murmurs, “No, Jaxon. I’m staying with you. I already told them I had other plans. We talked about getting dinner together after the game. I’ve been excited for it all afternoon.”
My lips part in surprise. “Oh.” My gaze flicks from her reassuring one to Logan’s. A moment later, he hooks an arm around my neck, tugging me close. The rise and fall of his chest against my arm as he tips his forehead to meet mine is enough to render me speechless.What the fuck is going on here?And… why do I need it so fucking bad? I have the sudden urge to shove him from me, just because it’s all I’ve ever known.
Almost as if he senses my train of thought, Logan releases me and backs away, his eyes hot on both of us. “Take care of our girl. I’ll come find you when I get back.” With that, he turns and jogs away, that ass in his baseball pants stirring something in me like it never has before.Shit. I’m so screwed because the truth is blaring at me from all angles. I need the girl at my side. And I might need my dickweed stepbrother, too.
20
RYA
Jaxon inhales deeplybefore wrenching his eyes away from his stepbrother. He throws an arm around my shoulders. “Come on. Whaddaya say we grab burgers or something?”
The last thing I want to do knowing he’s having money issues is have him buy me food. Hesitating, I chew on my lip before offering, “We could get something to eat on campus, if you prefer.”
Jaxon’s eyes flash. “No,” he bites out, “it’s fine. Besides, I’m in the mood for something better than what the dining hall has to offer.”
I peer into his determined eyes, the argument I’d been about to make dying on my tongue. Finally, I simply respond with, “Okay, then. You’re on. You driving?”
He nods, taking my hand, giving me a quick, shit-eating grin. “Of course I am. Come on. Walk with me to the locker room. It’ll only take a minute to change.”
Jaxon’s moods are occasionally as dangerous as a minefield. I hadn’t meant to offend him—and I’m not even sure I did—but I’d rather have offered an alternative than not. After all, he had shared their struggles with me and ignoring that would beworse. Especially if I want him to understand he can talk to me about it. Because if he does, I’ll be here to listen. My suspicion is their troubles started with his parents’ divorce and things have been spinning out of control ever since. It makes me sad for him that he has to shoulder that burden… or at the very least feels he has to.
I’ve been caught up in my head, so when Jaxon reappears at my side, mumbling, “You should have gone with him,” it catches me by surprise. He clears his throat, glancing at me before continuing, “My dad’s a tricky fuck to deal with at the best of times.”
Logan will handle his stepfather just fine. I press my lips together, turning to observe Jaxon’s profile. His walls have gone up, like he’s preparing for a hellacious storm. Maybe he senses shit won’t go well at this dinner. But there’s no doubt in my mind who needs me most right now, and it’s not Eric Ledger’s golden boy, aka his stepson.
“Yeah, I hear that. But I’d rather be with you right now. Fuck that awkward conversation… and Logan has plenty working in his favor. He’ll be okay.”
“Like what?” Jaxon grits out, letting go of my hand in favor of gathering me close to his side as we stride across the main part of campus.
“For one, his mom will be there as a buffer. Two, they’re going out to eat—so they’ll be in a public place. And I’m guessing your father won’t want to get into any heated discussions that could embarrass him.” I pause, unsure if I want to continue because it’ll only mean prodding Jaxon with the hot iron of truth.
“You’re not wrong,” he concedes. “Why do I feel like there is a ‘three’?” He exhales heavily.
Frowning, I whisper, “Three, EriclikesLogan.” I tip my chin up to meet his eyes even though the wind is biting and hitting mefull in the face. “Your dad is a fucking idiot for not seeing his own son for the amazing person he is.”
Jaxon dampens his lips, emotion that I doubt he shows most people flickering in his eyes. “All I can figure is I’m disappointingly average.” He lets a gust of air blow past his lips, and before I can say anything to that, he holds up a hand to stop me. “Decent student. Good in athletics, but never the best. I’m no overachiever. I’ve been shrugging off his disdain all my life. I haven’t ever understood why I’m not enough.”
Those pain-filled words cause a fissure to open up in my heart. I want to cry for the child who grew up like that just as much as I ache for the man still feeling the repercussions today. “Jaxon,” I breathe out, noting the rigidity of his expression.
He shakes his head, and it’s clear to me he’s fighting for composure. For the remainder of the journey to his car, I let him stew in peace.
When we get to the old sedan, he pulls me to a stop, turning me to face him. He spends a quiet minute cataloging every feature of my face. At least, that’s what it feels like. And strangely, it doesn’t make me uncomfortable. Then again, I’ve always felt this strange pull to Jaxon. There’s something deep within him that resonates with something in me. I can’t pinpoint it. But it’s been there since the first night we met—whether either of us wants to admit to it or not.
“You’re freezing. Let’s get in the car.” He’s not wrong. I’m actively shivering, and my shoulders are hunched against the wind, my face stinging from the biting cold. Jaxon shoves his hand into his pocket and comes up with his keys, clicking a button to disengage the locks.
“Can we sit in the back for a minute? I have something to say before we go.”
Jaxon nods, getting in to fire up the car. Once the engine has roared to life, and he’s adjusted the heat, he gets out, peering atme over the roof. “Let’s get in, then.” We get in from opposite sides, but I move all the way to the center, needing to be close to him. The heater blasts from the front, but honestly, it doesn’t matter. I’m too caught up in the thoughts whirling around in my head to care at the moment. My heart does a little sideways hop as I stare into dark eyes, my throat thick with all the things I want to say to him. He doesn’t deserve to be treated like a second-class citizen in his own home—in his family. I reach up, skimming my fingertips over his dark brow before trailing them down the side of his face, along the curve of his cheekbone. He remains utterly still, watching the shifting expressions on my face.
“Surely, whatever’s in your head can’t be that serious,” he murmurs.
I finally manage to swallow, and once I do, I let my thoughts spill out. “You’re not average to me, Jaxon. You always know what to say to calm me down. I’ve come to rely on you. That’s gotta mean something.” I take in his chiseled features. He’s too fucking perfect, too handsome. But I’m not telling him that part. “You’re smart… and sweet.” I wrinkle my nose. “You know, when you’re not being a dick to Logan.” I sink my teeth into my lip. “I half expected a fight earlier but maybe that’s changing.”
He gets a funny look on his face, his brow arching as he takes in what I said. “Well, don’t tellhim. I still like to fuck with his head. It’s too much fun getting a rise out of him.”
