Page 27 of This Is Love
My ears buzz, unsure how to answer. “Because I didn’t know—don’tknow—what to make of it. I don’t have a clue what’s going on in his demented head.”
“He’s not demented. I think he’s dealing with a lot. He hasn’t completely opened up to me. Obviously.” She gives me a good eye roll. “But… were you going to tell me eventually?”
I pull into the parking lot, getting as close to the entrance of the ER as I can. Turning off the ignition, I grip both thighs, swiveling my head to take her in. “I don’t fucking know what I was going to do. The situation was escalating, and I knew Ineeded to say something to you, but shit kept happening, and we were having trouble communicating.”
When I hesitate, she reaches over and grabs my hand. “Iknow. But I wish I had known.”
Thinking back to all those times Jaxon provoked me until I acted, my mind grinds gears trying to figure out how to explain it to her. A breath heaves from my lungs. “He makes me so fucking angry with that smart mouth of his. And he keeps at me until I can’t do anything but fight back.”
“With your dick?” Her eyes slide to mine, their liquid green so beautiful, I almost forget what she said.
I raise my hand, scrubbing it over my scalp. “I— Fuck, Rya. What do you want me to say here? I’ll do anything to make things right with you.”
“This isn’t all on you. Remember what we talked about in the hospital. I was in the wrong, too. And then I was just so upset this morning, caught off guard, and I didn’t like that feeling, especially when you admitted it wasn’t the first time something happened between you. But thinking back now…” She gives me this odd look before whispering, “It was hot. Like totally insanely hot. I—” She puts her hands up to her cheeks. “My face feels warm.”
The swift intake of her breath has me fully turning to stare at her, surprise filling me. “Finish,” I rasp.
The wounded look in her eyes is more than I know what to do with. “I don’t know if there’s room for me in that equation.” My eyes flick to the doors of the ER as they slide open to reveal Jaxon striding toward us.
Rya climbs from the car, then pauses to glance back at me. “For the record, I know you said you wouldn’t get in the way if Jaxon is what I want. But before everything happened this morning, I was hoping to figure out a way we could—” She cringes, shaking her head. “Never mind. It’d never work.”
Before I can demand she tell me exactly what she means, she shuts the door and runs to Jaxon. He catches her slim body in his arms and buries his nose in her hair.
Our eyes connect through the windshield, and he gives me a tiny smirk. This war raging between us, if it were to end in a stalemate, what the fuck does that even look like?
14
JAXON
It’slate by the time we get back to the dorm, and we go our separate ways, Logan and Rya to their wing of the building and me in the opposite direction. The ride home had been awkward at best. I could tell from the looks both were giving me that they expected me to say something but were also treading carefully.
What was I supposed to say? The dire reality of my life isn’t a fucking fun thing to discuss. After making sure Rya was okay, her retelling of what’d happened out there in the middle of fucking nowhere hadn’t made me feel any better. Instead, it’d made me want to commit murder. Whoever that fucknut was is going down as soon as I figure out who he is. My jaw sets grimly. Add him to the goddamn growing list.
With a groaned sigh, I strip down, then wrap a towel around my waist and grab a clean pair of joggers from my dresser. On the way out of my room, I take my shower caddy from the hook near the door and head for the showers. I do wish RAs had full baths in their suites so I didn’t have to chance seeing another soul tonight, but I guess having a sink and toilet to myself is a whole lot better than everyone else has.
I’m midway through soaping my body when someone else enters. Not unusual. It’s a communal bathroom for all the guys on the floor. But it is late—late enough, I kinda wonder who it is.
“Jax?”
My brows pull sharply together. The gravelly baritone hits me square in the chest. It’s Logan. I’d recognize the voice anywhere. I unlock my jaw long enough to mutter, “Yeah?”
His voice filters to me through the shower curtain. “I think Rya needs to talk to you. I don’t know about what, exactly, but I think there was too much left unsaid after this morning.”
“She didn’t want to discuss it.”
He huffs out a laugh. “Well, she does now. I guess she changed her mind. Or maybe she’d rather focus on that than what happened to her tonight? I don’t know. But now… she needs to talk about it.”
I don’t know if I have anything to give right now. I drag in several unsteady breaths as I stand there, letting the water sluice over my body. “I would have thought her best friend would be there for her.”
“I have been. And I was honest with her, Jaxon. And the guy she’s seeing… I would have thought he’d be there for her, too.”
Something about the tone of his voice gives me a moment’s pause. I whip the shower curtain back, the metal rings holding it to the bar above grating noisily. Letting my eyes bore into his startled ones, I arch a brow. “Honest about what?”
“About everything.”
I run a hand over my wet face, then steer it into the spray, letting the hot water beat on my skin. He means the shit with the two of us. Finally, I pull back, letting the droplets stream down my face as I stare at him. “I don’t know what you want me to say about it.”
There’s a definite pause as he narrows his eyes on me—eyes that wander for a split second down my naked body. “I don’tknow. That’s up to you. Maybe she needs to hear the truth. Your truth, anyway. Maybe you could explain what’s in your messed-up head—to her, at least. There’s shit I’d love to tackle, but it’ll wait.”
