Page 14 of This Is Love
My eyes crash shut as a replay of finding her unconscious on the bathroom floor careens through my mind. I put my hands on her shoulders, pulling her back against my chest and planting a lingering kiss at the crown of her skull. As much as I’d prefer her to wear my clothes, her comfort is more important than anything else.
“You got it, pretty girl.” Jaxon turns around, scanning over us as he holds out a T-shirt and joggers for her. “You need anything?” he asks me, his voice strangely rough as his eyes seek mine out in the dark.
“Some joggers would be good.” My thumbs make small circles at the top of her back on either side of her spine, and Rya lets a sigh loose.
“Thank you,” she whispers, taking the clothes from him, then also shifting slightly to catch my eye. “Both of you.”
“You know I’d do anything—”For you. The rest of my thought refuses to dislodge from my throat.
There’s a moment of silence, then Jaxon gestures to the bed. “So would I. And right now, I think the best thing for you is to get some rest.” Jaxon tosses a pair of his joggers at me. “We have to be at the field at one. I’ll set an alarm.”
Right. I clear my throat, unsure about the upcoming audition, but needing to know what’s in her head. “Rya, were you still going to run through your audition piece this afternoon?”
“I-I don’t know.”
“It’s okay.” I duck my head near her ear. “You can decide later.”
“We’ll try not to wake you up.” Jaxon reaches out, softly touching the tip of her nose with his finger.
“Okay. Yeah. That’d be good.” Her soft voice holds a note of strain that I wish wasn’t there, but there’s not a whole lot to be done about it.
Pointing back toward the door, Jaxon murmurs, “I have a small bathroom. Just a toilet and sink, if anyone needs to use it.”
Rya gasps, and I’m confused as to why until she comes back. “How have I been in here before and never knew that was there? I thought it was a closet.”
Jaxon shrugs. “No idea, pretty girl.” Then, too tired to care, we bite the bullet at the same time and begin to undress. Rya slips Jaxon’s T-shirt over her head, then works some Houdini magic to pull her arms from the scrub top before tugging it off through the neckhole.
I yank my shirt off, and Jaxon does the same while Rya wriggles free of the scrub bottoms and generic panties they’d given her, then into the joggers.
Realizing I’m staring as she pulls the joggers up her legs, I look away only to find Jaxon watching, too. He meets my eyes,and I wonder what I’d be able to see there if it weren’t so dark in here.
The clank of Jaxon’s belt buckle has me glancing downward, and he drops his pants. My jaw clenches, but I lose mine, too, because I’ll be damned if I’m sleeping in jeans if he’s not. While I step out of them, Jaxon ushers Rya into the center of his bed, then follows behind her. He immediately drags her against his body. Fucking spoons her, then delivers a tiny smirk. Maybe he thought I wouldn’t see it, but it’s more likely he figured I would.Dick.
But then, Rya holds her hand out, and I can’t do anything but take it in mine. I’d never deny her. With a sigh, I climb in, facing her. Jaxon’s bed is bigger than either of ours, but with three of us, there’s really not that much room. It wouldn’t matter if there was more, though, because Rya grasps my waist and tugs me toward her.
I’ve slept in a bed with Rya before, fallen asleep watching movies, held her when she cried over bad breakups… And then there was that disastrous night when I hadn’t even known she was there until it was too late to stop myself from destroying our friendship.
None of that compares to this, though. Not when so much has happened tonight. Not with everything that’s transpired between us. And definitely not with what Rya doesn’t know has gone down between Jaxon and me.
8
RYA
“I’m soproud of you, Tiny Dancer,” Logan whispers, his face mere inches from mine. “No one would have blamed you if you totally lost it today. But you didn’t. You’re so fucking strong.”
I swallow hard, then shake my head. “I’m really not.”
During the exam, once most of the questions were over, I’d freaking locked myself inside my head as best I possibly could. They’d needed me to acknowledge that I understood each step of the process, but there were what seemed like interminable minutes during which I could either dwell on what they were doing and why or block it out. I’d chosen to think of anything else to get through.
It doesn’t feel like strength to have done that. I’d practically had a panic attack before allowing myself to go somewhere in my head where I didn’t have to think too much.
The quirk on Logan’s lips tells me he doesn’t agree with my internal assessment, even though I haven’t said any of that aloud… but he doesn’t know I almost hit the panic button and asked them to go get him. I was millimeters from surrendering to the voices screaming inside my head.
Thank goodness for the understanding nurses and a truly kind and compassionate doctor who were in the room with me. They’d helped me through the worst of it. And in the end, I’m glad I hadn’t asked Logan or Jaxon to be there. I don’t want them to know the intricacies of what happened in that exam room. And I couldn’t handle it if either of them looked at me differently. In fact, I’m terrified they will anyway.
A full-body shudder rolls through me, and Jaxon’s hand runs over my bicep, then lightly squeezes. It’s as if he knows I’m reliving something he has no clue about but wants to help all the same. “You handled it better than most people would have.”
“It could have been worse, I guess.” I allow an exhale to skitter from between my lips. “Not that I recall what went on in the minutes before you found me. We’ll never know…”
