Page 54 of This Is War: All's Fair Duet
The weight of the world—myworld, anyway—rests squarely on my shoulders. The ruin of my friendship with Logan is my fault. After spending hour upon hour rewinding and replaying our conversation in my head, forgetting to eat until my stomach growls angrily, and crying enough tears to fill a bucket, I know this to be true.
I don’t have a clue how to move forward, much less fix things that might be irreparable. I broke us, and the regret threatens to drown me. All I want is my friend… however I can have him.
The last week has passed in a blur while I’ve been occupied in my head, trying to hide the grief I feel over the loss. I’ve spent half my time hanging out with Jaxon and the other half avoiding Logan. It’s not that I don’t want to see my friend, but knowing his personality as I do,he needs space. And considering how well I do know him, that’s why the disappointment in myself is so crushing. I’ve hurt him. There’d been so much happening between us, I lost sight of what I should have been worried about. Him. And I never should have suggested I had anything but trust in him.
I sigh deeply, walking between Jaxon and Hazel on our way to Tri-Beta house. The irony isn’t lost on me that this is where things went haywire in the first place. But it’s also where I met Jaxon. Looking up at him, I let his steady grin center me. He shoots a wink in my direction. “You warm enough?”
I rub my hands over my upper arms and silently wish I hadn’t worn a skirt. “I’ll be fine. We’ll be there soon.” What to do with coats and other outerwear is the worst part of going to events like frat parties on campus. I never want to leave my warmest coat in the hands of a bunch of crazy frat brothers because there’s no telling what’ll happen when it’s in their possession. Better to freeze my ass off than risk losing it.
“How about you, Hazel?” He raises his brows as he glances over my head at her.
A bubble of laughter rolls from between her lips. “Oh, I’msogood.” She shoots me a sly smile and laughs some more.
Jaxon squeezes my hand as he leans his head closer tomine. “Exactly how much did she have before we left the dorm?” He rolls his eyes, watching Hazel turn pirouettes in front of us. “Or do I want to know, considering I’m your RA?”
I clench my teeth together, offering him an apologetic smile. “A couple of hard seltzers. She’s kinda a lightweight.” Granted, so am I, but I’ll be more cautious because of the auditions coming up. That’s her call. “She made me promise to take care of her tonight.” After she’d begged me to attend another Tri-Beta party, that is, even though the last one didn’t exactly go so hot. But in the name of trying to be a better friend, I’d said yes. It couldn’t possibly go worse than the last one did.
Chuckling, Jaxon nods. “Noted. We’ll keep an eye on her, then. How about you? You drinking?”
I shrug. “Yeah, maybe a little something to relax, but I have to behave.”
From up ahead, Hazel shouts, “Do you think they’re gonna make us drink a fifth again? Because I don’t know about that.” She turns, stumbling, then snorts. “Or maybe it’d be fun!”
Stifling a laugh, I shake my head. All three of us discussed not being among the first to enter tonight’s party because we specifically did not want to fall into another of Trip Bentley’s little games. My eyes flick to Jaxon’s, remembering the good and the bad of the lasttime. I swallow hard, memories of Logan escorting Hazel and me to that party heavy on my mind. This feels almost like a betrayal. My lip trembles. I don’t know how to fix the breakdown of our relationship or how to make things right, and there’s been no expectation on my end that Logan should search me out to talk to me. I assume he’s been told I’ve been spending a lot of time with his stepbrother, and that won’t have gone over well.
Every time I pass Logan’s door, a huge chunk of my heart cries. Even worse, we almost ran into each other—literally—as I exited the dance studio after my ballet class yesterday. He’d looked haggard, with dark circles under his eyes and a couple days’ worth of stubble lining his jaw. And as soon as he saw me, he’d torn his wounded beautiful blue eyes from my gaze and walked away.
The damage I’ve done to us feels breathtakingly, heart-wrenchingly final.
So—because I refuse to lose Hazel, too—if she wants to go to this freaking Tri-Beta party, I guess that’s what we’re going to do.
“Rya.”
I blink, realizing we’ve come to a stop outside the dark frat house.
“What’s going on in your head, pretty thing?” Jaxon peers down at me, concern lacing his eyes.
“Come on, guys!” Up ahead, Hazel lifts her arms andspins around as she gets to the front steps. Before I have a chance to answer Jaxon, she’s skipping up the stairs toward the door that has opened to admit her.
“Oh, man,” I bite out, letting go of Jaxon’s hand and darting up onto the porch with her, and I know without looking that he’s at my back, following. “Hazel, wait up! We’re too early! Don’t go in yet!”
But it’s too late. My teeth clench as I stare at the cavernous opening, and there’s nothing to do but follow. Jaxon and I slip into the old frat house right after her, and the second I do, a feeling of dread washes over me.
The entire place is dark. The door shuts behind us.Oh, no. Not again.
“Welcome back to Tri-Beta.” This guy is not the brother who checked us in last time, but he was definitely in attendance. In fact, he might have been the one to give Jaxon and me the rum. I glance back at the heavy door, feeling trapped.
Jaxon’s brow raises as he assesses the situation with cautious amusement. “What’s the deal, Isaac?”
The other guy gives him a cheeky grin. “Come on, now, Jaxon. You know I can’t divulge any information. You’ll find out everything you need to know as soon as you get downstairs. We were waiting for three more, and you’re it. That’s all the explanation I can currently give you.” Shrugging, he returns his attention to Hazel who isbusy scrawling her name across a slip of paper. When she’s finished, he takes it from her. “Thanks, doll. You know the drill. Join the group downstairs. Congrats.”
This guy is giving off weird vibes, and I open my mouth to say no way in hell am I doing this when Hazel spins on the heel of her chunky black boots, and then she’s off, disappearing through the doorway, the basement swallowing her whole.Shit.Turning toward Jaxon, I rub my hands over my face before mumbling, “We can’t leave her. And I promised her we’d do what she wanted tonight.” I have a suspicion I’ll regret this, but I don’t know what else to do except go along with the frat boy shenanigans that are about to ensue.
Jaxon’s chest expands on an inhalation before aiming his irritation at this Isaac character and growling out, “Fuck it. Gimme two of those papers so we can get down there.” The frat boy huffs out a laugh that I totally read asLike you ever had a choice. He hands the slips off to him then delivers a pen into his palm with a sharp snap.
I’m nervous to venture down the staircase to the same dim room we’d encountered the last time we made the mistake of showing up too early to a Tri-Beta party. There are plenty of people who think this is the most fun thing ever, but after my first—and what I thought would be my last experience—I am not of the same opinion. I have a death grip on Jaxon’s hand and with my other, I swipeover the curve of my upper thigh. It’s sweaty, a sure sign of the anxiety creeping through me.
From where I’m standing, I have a view of Hazel with none other than Trip Bentley, the devious Tri-Beta president, who will oversee whatever ruthless game they have in store for us. Much like last time, it’s impossible to tell what sort of mischief is about to unfold, and unfortunately, I don’t think there is any way to prepare myself for it.
