Page 16 of This Is War: All's Fair Duet
My brain wants to explode inside my skull as a series of images dance across my vision. Jaxon stripping Rya out of her clothes. Jaxon touching her in places I’ve never touched her. Jaxon climbing on top of her. The bane of my existence fucking my best friend.
My chest heaves at the angst-inducing slideshow twisting its way through my mind, and all of a sudden, I find it difficult to swallow. All I want to do is shout, but instead, the thought screams inside my head.Don’t get involved with him!This is my worst nightmare, Rya with my jackass stepbro. Rya withanyoneelse is a nightmare, but Jaxon? It’s the worst of all possibilities. I bristle at the thought of her with him. I pointedly swing my gaze down the hall in the direction of his room. “Did he put his hands on you?” I rasp, voicing my worst fears.
A bewildered look crosses her face, and a crease forms directly down the center of her forehead as her brows draw together. “What? No. I’m fine.”
“What the hell is going on? Why were you with him, Rya?” The questions scratch and claw their way from my throat.
“My phone. I guess you didn’t manage to get it earlier, huh?” She waits, her lips pressed together and situated into a confused frown. “Jaxon had it, like you said. And from what he told me, you definitely found him. What gives?”
Her phone.Dammit.“I—” I stare at her, unsure what to say, especially since I have no fuckin’ clue what Jaxon told her about our altercation.
When I don’t immediately answer, she holds her hand up. “It’s okay. I got it back from him.”
My jaw works to the side at the same time I eye the clothing she hasn’t mentioned—it’s clear to me that it’s the top and jeans she’d been wearing last night that’d been replaced with… that fucking T-shirt. Makes total fucking sense now that he’d put that on her. Probably thought it’d be really fucking funny if I happened to see it.Motherfucker.
Rya wets her plush lips, attracting my full attention as her pink tongue slicks over them. And because I’m too wrapped up in wondering if they’re as soft as I think they might be, I’m not ready for her next question. She steps a bit closer to get my attention, then softly asks, “Logan, is it true you hit him?”
My eyes meet hers before crashing shut, and a breath jerks from my chest. “I’m sorry about your phone,” I grit out. “I had it. And then… I didn’t.” I throw my arms out from my sides, at a loss for how to explain things. “Shit happened,” I mumble. “Is that what he told you? That I hit him?”
“Not in so many words. But that’s kinda what I understood.” Rya shakes her head, dropping her gaze, but a moment later, she gasps. “Logan.” Her eyes are glued to the angry purple and blue on my rib cage. She reaches for me, her fingertips brushing over the bruised skin.
The warmth of her touch sends a jolt of need through my veins. I search her face, but she’s singularly focused on what she’s seeing in front of her, almost as if she’s in a trance. She lays her palm flat, skimming over the spot where Jaxon’s fist had hammered into my torso multiple times.
A long breath shudders from me, and I cover her hand before guiding it over my heart. Can she tell it’s thundering a violent, chaotic beat? The way she touches me is a danger to the delicate balance we’ve struck between friends and anything more. But I like it. Too much, maybe.
Dammit, I don’t want to wreck our friendship, but the thought of her with him might be what throws me over the edge. I’ll admit he’s a good-looking dude, so I get the appeal, but he’s an ass. How do I tell her she doesn’t know the real Jaxon? For that matter, will I ever be able to come clean about how I really feel about her? I’m certain after waiting so long it’d go over like a lead fucking brick. If wewere to lose what we have, it might do me in. Why didn’t I clear things up back when she saw me kissing that guy at the Halloween party senior year? She thinks I’m gay and have no interest in her… and ever since, she’s let that one moment of discovery dictate her expectations of me.
The unfortunate truth is now I’m simply her gay friend. It’s why she’s fucking comfortable enough to whip off clothing in front of me. If she knew I’ve been watching with hungry eyes, she’d probably freak out.
Our friendship is built on what we have in common and all the things we like about each other, but the idea that I’m not interested in her? It’s nothing but a fucking lie. I’ve kept my feelings hidden away because I truly believe I’d risk losing her. I haven’t been forthright, and now, staring into her vibrant green eyes, all I can do is wonder why she’s never brought up the elephant in the room. Maybe she doesn’t know how. I sure as fuck don’t. So, because I’m too chicken shit to tell her I’ve been lying to her for over a year about what I feel, we’re stuck in this pattern. I wish like fuck I knew how to break us free of it.
Rya finally tears her hand from my body. “Where were you headed just now?” She blinks rapidly, but I can’t read her expression, can’t tell whether she’s upset with me or him or…? I simply don’t know.
I work my jaw to the side, hesitating to admit the truth. “I think you know. Levi told me he saw you.”
Her voice catches for a second before she murmurs, “Logan, I promise I can handle myself.”
Yes.But can she handleJaxon? That’s the real fucking question. At this rate, I’m going to grind my teeth into dust with worry for her, not to mention jealousy. I gesture in the direction of his room. “It’s not just that, Rya. He’s fucking with me. It’s stepbrother stuff. I can’t even begin to explain it. He hasn’t liked me since the moment we met.” I close my eyes and draw in what I hope will be a deep cleansing breath. “I haven’t done anything to him. Until today, anyway.”
“But… you’ve both been at this school for an entire semester.Nowthere’s an issue?”
This situation and everything I can envision Jaxon pulling—it’s going to unhinge me. I see it plainly, so I hold my hands up and shrug. “I thought we were good, but—” No, I didn’t. Not really. Out of sight, out of mind, is more like it. “Look, there are a few things we need to work out so we can see eye to eye or we’re going to come to blows again.”
Her gaze flicks down again to my rib cage, and a hard swallow works along the column of her throat. She searches my eyes before whispering, “Maybe leave it alone for today. Can you talk to me instead?” She exhales harshly, “Or if you don’t want to talk about it, we’dplanned to watch a movie, right? One last night before all the craziness of the semester begins?”
Air gusts from my lungs as I study her. It pains me that she thinks she has to protect me, especially from Jaxon. But hell, maybe she has a point. It’s possible I need to be saved from myself on this one. Slowly, I nod, agreeing reluctantly. “Yeah, okay.”
Holding her clothes with one arm, she loops the other through mine and grasps my bicep, giving it a squeeze. She rests her head against my arm as we walk together back toward our rooms “Your place or mine?”
A surprised laugh explodes from me. “Yours, I think. Levi’s…”
“Being Levi?” she questions with a laugh.
“Yeah,” I groan good-naturedly as we get to my door. “Lemme grab a shirt. I’ll be right there.”
She grins broadly. “Okay. I’ll pull up a movie on my laptop.” With that, she scoots down the hall. My gaze trails after her until she lets herself in and disappears from view.
Inside my own room, Levi looks up once again, not having moved since I left. “You find her?” he asks blandly before returning his attention to whatever he’s doodling.
