Page 37 of This Is War: All's Fair Duet
Despite the fact we’re both wet and naked, he stands his ground, lips twitching. “I hate to sound like a sixth grader, but fuckingmakeme,” he hisses.
A deep V forms between my brows a fraction of a second before I bring my hands between us to shove him away from me. But he anticipates it, hooking my elbows and yanking down. The force of it does loosen my hold on him, but I’m just as fast, clamping a hand on the back of his neck and gripping his bicep. In response, he grasps mywrist in an attempt to shrug away. We’re stuck in an intense battle of both brute strength and wills. Fury flows back and forth in a wicked dance of energy between us. I dig in, an enraged growl slipping from me as my jaw clenches. He bites down on his lip, equally as unwilling to give in or give up.
Just then, laughter spills into the locker room, and the typical assholery that passes for team camaraderie commences. Jaxon takes a half second to glance down the hall but doesn’t budge an inch, which I wasn’t anticipating. “Motherfucker. Back the fuck off.” I let loose a string of even more colorful words under my breath.
But he doesn’t listen. In fact, he doubles down, taking advantage of my surprise at the interruption. Lunging against me, the full weight of him slams into my body, carrying us to the back wall of the stall as the door swings shut behind us.
My head smacks against the tile, and all the air in my lungs exits. Stunned, I stare into his eyes. “Get the fuck off me,” I hiss.
The fact that Jaxon’s muscular body is hard against mine is causing a genuine problem. Truth be told, I don’t think my erection ever went down, and I don’t know if anyone is near enough to hear the wrestling match going on in here, because my blood pumps viciously, obscuring coherent thought as our standoff goes on.
“Someone is going to hear us. Is that what you want? Because I don’t fucking care what anyone thinks about me. I’ve never hidden the fact that I like men.” As I grit out those words, his dark eyes bore into mine, his jaw clenched.What the fuck is going on in his head?
I make the mistake of blinking, and maybe I’m still dazed from my skull connecting with the tile, but I soon find myself facing the wall while Jaxon braces his forearm across my shoulders. With his full weight leaning into me, I’m pinned, unable to move. I slap the wall, and because I have no real desire for anyone to open the stall and see what’s happening, I grunt and continue to wrestle, all the while wondering what he hopes to accomplish by holding me here. Is he waiting on everyone to leave now? I’ve taken a mental accounting of at least seven other showers starting.
Behind me, Jaxon’s hold relaxes a fraction as he groans, and something warm hits my ass cheek. I’m able to break free, and I wrench myself around, just in time for a second spurt of cum to hit me in the lower abdomen. Then another hits my dick, and a final one lands, dribbling down my thigh.
Half in shock, I gape at him, too stunned for speech.
He huffs out a laugh, then leans in close to my ear. “Oops. Sorry about that. But you don’t mind, right? Actually, that was kinda fun. And I bet it’ll be some trick foryou to explain this to Rya—how you came onto me.” His brow arches as I suck in a breath. “What? Are you trying to steal me from her?” He nods as if to himself. “Yeah. Maybe I’ll tell her about this.” Chest heaving, he lightly slaps my cheek, his lips quirking up on one side into a sly smirk. “Oh, and you should make sure you don’t need some stitches, too. That cut looks pretty nasty.”
I look down to see the bandage that had been holding my skin together has come loose, and the split in my knuckle has reopened.Fuck.Who knows whether that happened during our scuffle or earlier while I was pitching.
Jaxon turns on his heel and walks out of the stall without a backward glance.
My eyes crash shut, unsure what to think. The throbbing in my hand is agonizing now that the toxic high of my ill-timed jerk-off session is over, but that’s the least of my worries. Is Jaxon fucking crazy enough to tell Rya what transpired between us?
And my best friend— My heart wrenches in agony. It’s doubtful she’ll want to hear a word out of me after the way I behaved. I want to talk things out, but fear and worry battle within me. Knowing Rya, she might not want a damn thing to do with me until she’s had space to deal with it. In the past, I’ve encouraged her not to hold people’s stupidity against them, because she’s not usuallyinclined to give people who act like idiots the benefit of the doubtora second chance. But how am I supposed to make her listen when this time the asshole she’s dealing with isme?
I’m still trying to figure it out when the last of the other showers shut off, and I’m left in confused solitude.
22
RYA
It’s been two weeks.My heart has cracked wide open, the loss I feel due to Logan’s absence in my life is a deep wound that grows with every day that passes with zero communication between us. We’ve seen each other, sure, but I can’t bring myself to talk to him. He’s kept big things from me, and the more time that goes by, the worse it feels. I’m a broken shell of the girl I was before everything crashed down around me, my insides a hollow cavern of despair.
I’ve been distracted during my classes and unable to sleep at night. In the darkness, I feel so fucking alone, but I’ve also had a lot of time to think about everything.
The worst part about the shit show that is my life? I don’t know if it’s fixable. Going through the day-to-day motions while I pretend nothing is wrong isn’t getting meanywhere. My forehead pinches as I bend to rub the calf muscle that’s been giving me trouble. Logan must know what this is doing to me. Heknowsme. Better than anyone else. But I guess I didn’t know him as well as I thought. And that hurts.
Sitting on the bench, I drop my head into my hands, my tired body hunching over as I stare unseeing at my banged-up dancer’s feet. I’ve been trying to get the choreo for my dance audition together so I can start practicing in earnest, but it’s not been going as planned. I can’t concentrate on anything, and I know why.
The way Logan and I left things has me contemplating every single bit of the last year, trying to sort out whether I was mistaken about his true feelings. There’s a tiny seed of hope within me that Logan might want something beyond friendship. If he feels for me a thousandth of what I do for him… it’d be enough. But what if— What if he simply hates his stepbrother and will do whatever it takes to keep him away from me? If that’s the case, I’m so fucking disappointed in him.
Meanwhile, Jaxon is so damn charming, always available when I need him, and there’s no denying he’s attracted to me. Honestly, the only thing not going in his favor is that he isn’t Logan. And considering I’ve had a crush on my best friend forever, that’s not fair to Jaxon, it’s really not. We haven’t known each other long enoughto have that same emotional connection, even if the chemistry and physical heat between us kinda makes up for a lot of that. There’s a little part of me that wonders what the hell I’m doing. My thoughts about the two of them are muddled and twisted together and so damn hard to figure out.
Around and around and around, my head spins like I’m performing a never-ending series of fouettés. And for some reason, I’ve forgotten my training and how important it is to spot. I’m dizzy from the complicated cyclone of uncertainty in my head. It threatens to send me to my knees.
A hand on my shoulder yanks me from my thoughts, and it shouldn’t surprise me when I lift my gaze to find Hazel standing there, studying me. I sense from her tense stance that her worry over my current state of mind is beginning to rise. “Are you going to get dressed anytime soon so we can go? We should get you some food and get your butt back to the dorm.”
“Um. Yeah.” My teeth rake over my bottom lip. “Sorry. I’m just really tired.”
Hazel shakes her head, her perfect bun unmoving on top of her head. “Yeah. You were tossing and turning all night. Again. And it’s been this way for weeks.” She doesn’t have to say his name, but I know what she’sinsinuating. I’ve been like this since my friendship with Logan shattered into a million heartbreaking pieces.
I lower my head, blinking furiously. “I’m sorry I kept you up.”
Hazel exhales heavily, then plops down on the bench beside me. “You didn’t. I’m good.” She pauses, nudging me with her shoulder. “Look at me.”
