Page 7 of Duke
Bear steps in, pulling her to his side in a one-armed hug. His head dips, and he rests his lips on her temple. He takes several breaths with them connected like that, the relief on Lennon’s face visible to all of us. “I have things I want to say to you. Don’t you go anywhere while I’m gone, Little Gazelle. My heart couldn’t take it.”
Once they’ve departed, I shuffle Lennon into the bathroom. Now that I’ve had a few minutes to think about it, I suspect she wants my help because based on some of our post-nightmare conversations and what we discussed while we were trading secrets in the pool house, I’m a little more aware of her past trauma than Bear or Duke might be. She sees me as the most equipped to deal with this. I should feel honored, I guess… but all I really wish is that it never happened in the fucking first place.
“My mind is a big fucking blank. And my skin is crawling.” She exhales hard, giving me a weak smile as a shudder rolls through her.
I wince. It must be fucking terrifying not to have a conscious memory of the last several hours or a clue where she’s been. Cautiously, I unbutton the shirt and gently push it off her shoulders. “How about we get you into the shower?”
She nods, shakily letting the garment slip to the floor. I take the next few seconds to scan her body, hating that because of the situation, I’m forced to look at fresh red marks on top of old bruising from several days ago instead of focusing on luscious curves and soft skin. As she stands naked before me, my mind twists for a moment, knowing it’s partially my fault that she’s gotten banged up the way she has. But I can’t think about that right now because the fresh markings on her delicate skin are seemingly everywhere—hips, arms, legs, neck. She sways on her feet, and I put out a hand to help her balance. Drawing in a few ragged breaths, I peel out of my own clothing in record time, keeping a careful eye on her as I do. “I’m getting in with you. You’re too unsteady for my liking.”
“I figured as much.” Slowly, she moves into the enormous walk-in shower, and I follow. Her eyes roam over the many dials and knobs before shaking her head. “I don’t know what does what.”
I give her a little smirk. “Me neither. But we’ll remedy that.” Fiddling with everything, I get the rainfall showerhead going, then blast a couple of the jets from the wall. My gaze falters, skittering down her body again, worry for her pouring through me. As blood pounds through my head, making me feel out of control, my hands clench and unclench. What foul motherfucker had their hands on her? What sick things did they do? My head spins, hating the awful, disgusting things that my mind conjures. Get a fuckin’ hold of yourself. You heard her. She asked foryou. Desperate to be the man she needs me to be, instead of the wrathful, fuming monster that dwells within me, I inhale slowly. Exhale. Repeat. I reach out, the hot water pelting my skin. “Okay, Kin. The water is ready.” I take another breath. “Tell me what you need from me. I don’t want to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.”
She’s got this faraway look in her eye that’s crushing my soul. Finally, she murmurs, “I can’t explain it. My skin is sticky. I feel gross, but”—her cheeks blaze pink—“I don’t think I was a-assaulted… like…that.I would know, I think. I’ve been there before.” Her last words are a harsh whisper that I’m unsure I was supposed to hear.
But it’s too late. I definitely heard and digested what she said. A harsh gust of air blows from between my lips, as the darkest parts of me curl and snake around her bitter words. She means she doesn’t think anyone inserted a goddamn dick into her. But who the fuck knows what else could have been done. My stomach flips over simply considering. As her body quakes, I reach for her, pulling her swiftly into my arms. I need to feel her heart beating against my chest, need to assure her that I’ve got her. To my surprise, she doesn’t resist, but holds on tightly. “Fuck, Kin.” I grit my teeth. I’d love to know exactly what she’s referring to bybeforebut pushing her to relive something that caused her pain in the past won’t help, especially with all we have to deal with right now. “You don’t remember anything?”
She tilts her chin up, shaking her head as she bites down on the fleshiest part of her bottom lip. Her eyes close. “No— Yes, but—” A horrible, anxious expression washes over her gorgeous features. “I don’t know. It seemed like one of my nightmares, only I couldn’t wake up, and I couldn’t make sense of what I saw. Glimmering lights and flashes and voices pounding in my head.” She pauses for a moment as a ragged, painful breath jerks from her. “Mase, I need to feel clean again.” Seeming none too secure on her feet, she steps into the spray and lets the water pummel her back and fall over her head, running in rivulets down her body.
Rage burns, licking along my veins and flaming so hot that it flashes over, eating its way into my bones. My marrow. Becoming a part of me. I see it all over her face. She knows something bad happened, she just doesn’t know what—which has got to be the scariest fucking thing. Someone did things to her that they had no right to.
Maybe it’s for the best that she doesn’t remember. But that won’t help us catch the fuckers. We haven’t discussed things yet, but I seriously doubt Duke or Bear are any more willing to let things go than I am. I run a hand over my chest, rubbing hard over my heart as I attempt to contain the beast inside me that wants to tear out of my skin and pummel to death whoever put their hands on her.
But me losing it right now isn’t what she needs. Clamping my jaw shut to contain my anger, I look over Bear’s selection of soap in the cut-out shelf in the wall, briefly putting my nose to a few bottles before I find one that is more citrusy than manly. She looks at me with wild eyes, and my forehead pinches together. “Lennon, can I help you? Or—” I stop, searching her eyes.
She blinks rapidly before taking the bottle from me and pours some shower gel into her palm, then gives it back to me. “Ineedyour hands on me, Mase. I don’t want to think about—” Her eyes slam shut, but she works her palms together, creating a lather. Slowly, she brings them to her chest, sweeping over her skin.
As I pour some of the gel into my own hand, I watch her facial expressions change, flicking from worry to fear to relief to anxiety to disgust. She takes a huge gulping breath, dropping her arms to her sides. “I-I’m trying not to fall apart, but every piece of me is threatening to fly off in different directions.”
“Then let me be the one to hold you together,” I grit out, my words sounding raw. Because yeah, I’m fucking upset, too. I bring my hands to her shoulders, then sweep them down her back, touching every inch of skin I can reach. She’s stopped trying to clean herself entirely, allowing me to take over. I don’t linger like I would normally, instead gently and thoroughly soaping down every part of her from her toes to her nose and everywhere in between.
Her breath hitches when I massage the bubbles over her breasts. “Do you need me to stop? Or give you a minute? Fuck, Kin, I’ll do anything you want me to do.” I hesitate, then touch a few fingers to her chin so she’ll look up at me.
Wetting her lips, she shakes her head. “No, please finish. I-I’m okay.”
I don’t believe her for a fucking second because here she is again, our girl trying to be so fucking strong when her world has been turned upside down. Inhaling slowly, I let my hands roam over her stomach, dipping my fingertip into her navel and swirling it around before I proceed lower. “You still with me?”
“Yes,” she gasps raggedly, before I’ve even touched her. “Keep going.”
My hand slides between her legs, soaping her pink pussy and praying it doesn’t make me hard. I don’t want her to think that I’m getting off on this… because I’m not. Not in the slightest. “Do you want— Um. Should I…?” My eyes connect with hers. I don’t even know how to ask her if she’s worried whether they touched her on the inside. We don’t know in what way she was assaulted, only that she doesn’t feel right and she woke up with Warren. Naked. Unclean. My mind practically explodes.
With a stuttering breath, she puts her foot up on the built-in seat and nods toward the handheld showerhead. “Maybe just use that?” She looks anxiously at me from under spiky-wet eyelashes.
“Yeah, okay.” I flip the lever and pick up the handheld, aiming where she needs me to. After a few seconds, she nods and pulls her foot down. “I’m good, I think.”
“You sure?” I stare into her blue eyes and wish I saw some of the spark there that I’m so used to.
She shrugs. “I have to be, right? Gotta put it behind me.”
Before I can argue that point, there’s a knock on the door. “Hey, can we come in?” Bear’s deep voice is cautious, no doubt still feeling like shit about how he’d shouted earlier.
I look into Lennon’s eyes, questioning without words whether she’s ready.
“I want to wash my hair.”
Right.“Do you care if they come in?”
Her brow furrows. “No. It’s fine.”
