Page 40 of Duke
I bite down on my lip and take an unsteady step away from him.
Anguish spreads across his features at my retreat. “Fuck!” He sucks in a sharp breath. “It wasn’t my intention to hurt you. Not then, not now. That’s not what was in my head when I brought you out here. I wanted to be able to call you Stella because it means something to me.” He covers his face with his hands, but not before I catch the way his eyes crash shut. His chest heaves.
I shake my head, closing my eyes for a moment, as well, to give me a second to think. When I finally open them, his blue eyes stare at me, an unspoken plea in them. “You may not have intended it that way, but sometimes the truth actually does hurt. I need time to process how you could have treated me the way you did if you actually had a thing for me.”
He swallows hard, then brings a hand up, shakily cupping my cheek. “Are you mad?”
Am I mad?I glance down. Yes, I’m fucking mad. My hands tremble as I push away from him. “I’m hurt and confused and—yes! A little mad!” My voice has gotten louder, and out of the corner of my eye, I see Mase sit up and pay attention. “Ignoring me when I lived under your dad’s roof was one thing”—a rogue tear slips from the corner of my eye and I hastily swipe it away—“but why you had to come at me so hard when I got here instead of just admitting how you felt—to me and yourself—I don’t get.” I wet my lips, jerking my thumb toward the door. “Duke, I’m gonna need a minute. But thanks for clearing up the nickname. That was helpful.”
“I never meant any harm by it.”
I rear back, staring at him like he’s sprouted another head—and one that has lies falling from its lips, at that. “I don’t believe that. It was a way for you to lash out at me because you felt guilty about betraying your girlfriend’s memory. You figured it’d make me feel bad about working at Stella’s. It’d be your dirty little secret that you were using it in an entirely different way. That you had a hard-on for me that you were in denial about.” I shake my head, unable to look at him right now. Pain lances through me as I walk away, letting myself back into Mason’s room.
I storm past him on the bed, with no real sense of where I’m going.
“Hold up! Kin!” Before I can get to the door, he’s on me, gripping my shoulders and pulling me to a stop. Turning around, tears spill down my cheeks. His eyes widen. “Fuck. What’s going on?”
My breath comes in sputters and jerks. “A-ask Duke. I c-can’t right now.” My gaze shifts to the balcony where Duke hasn’t even bothered to turn around. He’s staring off into the night. At his fucking stars. “I’m sorry. I need some space.” I shrug away from Mason and hurry out the door.
The second I close it behind me, I come to a dead stop in the middle of the hallway. My heart sinks. I don’t want to be with Duke right now. Can’t stay with Mase. Refuse to set foot back in my own room. My eyes shift to the room across from mine, then to the door at the end of the hall, leading up to Mase’s sanctuary.Bear’s room or the attic. Bear’s room or the attic.
In the end, my choice is made simply because I don’t want Mason to come looking for me after he’s spoken to Duke. And I know he won’t bother Bear right now.
I knock lightly on Bear’s door and, hearing a slight grunt that puts a half smile on my face despite the situation, I let myself in. Bear’s sprawled across his bed on his back, one arm thrown across his eyes, the other tight to his side, hand resting on his stomach. There’s a book lying next to him that he’d obviously been trying to read and given up on.
Climbing into the bed with him, I curl up at his side. He mumbles a bit, then peeks down at me from under his forearm. “Lennon?”
“Yeah, it’s me. I’m sorry to bug you. I just needed a place to rest.”
Even with his face half-covered, I can tell he’s cautiously wondering what’s up.
I run my hand over the hair on his chest and sigh deeply. “I’ll be fine. Just need time to think things through.”
“You sure?” he grunts as he shifts to put his arm around me.
I nod. “I’ll let you know if I want to talk about it. What’s going on with the arm?”
“Doctor tomorrow. Couple hours away, so it won’t be anyone under my dad’s influence. Duke’s taking me.”
“I think it’s a good thing, Gid.” And it’ll give me some room to breathe because Duke will be with him. Absentmindedly, I trace patterns on his chest with my fingertips.
“Yeah. It’s been rough, but…” He lets out a deep sigh. “Coach says since I’ve been sick for so long, I won’t play this weekend anyway.”
“Shit.” I pull a face, even though he’s not looking.
“Yeah.” He stares at the ceiling. “It sucks. Not only is he right to bench me since I haven’t practiced and—as far as he knows—I’m weak from myfakeillness, but my arm could use the time off. Depending on what this doctor says tomorrow… well, I may or may not end up talking to the team doc about it. I haven’t decided.” I physically feel the deep breath he takes, hating that he’s having to make these kinds of decisions, but proud of him all the same.
“And that’s okay. By the time that happens, the meds will be out of your system, right?”
“Yeah. It’s like four days or so, usually, unless they’re taking hair samples, but I’ve never heard of them doing that.”
I smile, pressing a kiss over his pec. “Well, whatever the doctor says, it’s going to work out. Your team needs you to be healthy to play effectively.” I connect my gaze to his, working a hard swallow as thoughts of how he’d denied my feelings the other night swarm inside my head.Be brave, Lennon. It was the meds talking. The pain. It wasn’t the Bear you’ve come to know and love.“And I need my Gideon back.”
Bear shifts again, rolling to his side so we’re face to face. He lets out a heavy breath before he skims his lips over my cheek. His gaze roams, eyes full of emotion studying me. “I’m sorry for the way I was with you the other night. I hurt you, and that’s the last thing I ever want to do. I fucking love you, Lennon. I don’t want you to ever question that.”
TWENTY-ONE
MASON
