Page 48 of Bear
I catch Bear’s eye and raise a brow, but he shakes his head again and goes directly to the fridge to pull out a bottle of water before turning on his heel to open the cabinet where he keeps his snacks and assorted medications. He reaches for a bottle of pills way at the top, muscles the cap off, and pours I can’t tell how many down his throat before taking a swig of the water.
“What the hell, man? That was—”A lot.Far more than any normal person would have downed. I mean, the guy is big, but he’s notthatbig.
Mason’s brows furrow hard, and he straightens, setting down his phone.
At the same time, Lennon sucks in a breath, and I don’t think she’s going to say anything, but I squeeze her waist to signal that she definitely shouldn’t. I don’t care for the storm cloud on the big guy’s face, and I definitely think his behavior is odd. Is he just in pain or is it something more? I twist my lips, considering whether to push it further, but Bear heaves out a frustrated breath.
“It’s just anti-inflammatories, fuckin’ relax. My shoulder is acting up. I’m fine.”
He pauses, then huffs out a breath, eyeing my hand on Lennon’s hip. “Duke, I was going to ask how you’re doing with everything today, but from the looks of what I walked in on, you’re doing just fucking fine.”
I work my jaw to the side and shake my head. I get it—he’s tweaked his shoulder. He’s in pain. He’s worried about it. But I don’t need the attitude today of all days, and he fucking knows it. Blood rushes to my face, anger heating my words. “I’m sorry your shoulder is messed up, but I need you to fuckin’ lay off,” I growl, dropping my hand from Lennon’s waist. I walk over to the table and pull out a chair next to Mason.
Lennon follows with the sandwich she’d made for me and sits on my other side. She takes a big bite of it, then slides the plate in front of me. “Eat.”
I huff out a breath, trying to hold myself together. My eyes connect with hers as I force some of it down.
Bear ambles over a minute later with the half-burned sandwich and sits down across from the three of us. “Anyone want this? Otherwise, I’ll eat it.”
“I could make another.” Lennon’s brows knit together. Her concern for him is clear in the tone of her voice. “I don’t mind.”
He groans. “No. That’s okay.” He rubs his hand—the left, again—over his scalp. “I need a couple minutes.” He inhales deeply before letting it all go.
Bear’s definitely off his game, and when that happens, it’s always one of two responses: unreasonable anger—which we hardly ever see from him—or the need for quiet. Today we get both, which tells me something is really not right.
I take another bite of the sandwich and slowly chew as my gaze and thoughts swing to the guy beside me. Mason sits scrolling idly through who knows what on his phone.
Swallowing without really tasting the sandwich, I allow myself to study him. Between the body made for sin and the full lips that I shouldn’t want on mine—but I fucking do—I’m close to done. But then he’s got that fucking creative mind that always seems to know just how to push me in all the right ways and those deep, dark eyes that bore into my soul, and that’s it. I’m a fucking goner.
Witnessing his terror… fuck, I couldn’t take it. I hadn’t intended to jump into his bed—literallyorfiguratively—but when I heard his shouts and saw what was happening, everything in me told me he needed me. And so did Lennon, since she put herself directly in his chaotic, furious path.
These goddamn nightmares of his, the ones that absolutely break him down, they’re relentless. This wasn’t the first time I’ve seen him in the throes of one, and I’m certain it won’t be the last. The dumb thing is, I’ve been watching him, and his developing relationship with Lennon and I’m aware he feels very connected to her because they have similar experiences. But shit… I don’t know if I should point out that the two of them sleeping—literal sleep, not fucking—together in the same bed is a bad idea. Unless… I guess if someone else were to be present, maybe he’d never have a chance to get all wound up and fly off the handle.
My face heats, my mind carrying me right back to the way I’d held him close, felt his body shake. What do I do, offer myself up as their bodyguard? I shake my head. Is that what I want? To be with them both? And… Bear? He’s involved with her, too.
What are wedoing?We’re all tangled up with this girl who shouldn’t have been dumped here in the first place. This girl who I’ve watched grow into a beautiful woman over the last few years. I may not have seen her often. But I saw her. I heave out a disturbed breath. I don’t know. I just don’t fucking know how we make sense of what we’re becoming.
I rub my chest as memories sneak up on me, despite my best efforts at pushing them down.Juliette.I sit, not touching my sandwich for a long moment, trying to reconcile the idea that I have Lennon at my side while I breathe through the pain of Juliette’s loss. This shit sneaks up and comes at me in unending, unstoppable waves.
But at least I’m not like fucking Kingston; he couldn’t be bothered to visit his sister’s grave this morning like he has three years running. There’d been no flowers, no card. He’s visited her in the early hours of the morning every year until today. It’d seem like now that he’s panting after this girl—one of their initiates—that he’s completely forgotten his sister. My teeth grind.
I breathe deeply, attempting to refocus. There will be a day every year where I feel like this. I’d allowed myself to lose it at the graveside, but then Mason’s crisis had taken precedence. While it’d been shitty for him and Lennon, it had actually worked in my favor. I’d gone several hours without thinking about losing Juliette. Maybe I should feel bad about that, but I don’t this time around.
My eyes flick up from my plate as there’s finally movement from across the table. Bear rubs his hands over his face, but we remain absolutely silent until he drops his hands and reaches for the sandwich again. “I’m sorry. I’m going to be a cranky ass until the meds kick in. Take my mind off it. What’ve you all been up to today?”
Mason eyes Lennon and me before answering, “That’s a loaded fucking question.”
TWENTY-THREE
BEAR
My brows shoot upas I work my arm in a slow circle, testing it. Still bad. Not that I’d expected a five-minute miracle. My lips form a tight line, and I breathe slowly in and out through my nose. “Seriously, what the fuck went on here while I was gone?”
Duke lifts one finger. “Hold on.” He busily taps out a text, then nods toward the phone when he sets it down. “There. Fuck the meeting. I said what I needed to say in a text. I don’t know about you three, but I’m not up to dealing with anything else today.”
The anniversary of Juliette’s death is always difficult for him. But in addition to that, we had Tristan’s appearance this morning, then the strange vibe I’m getting from these three and whatever I’d walked in on with Duke and Lennon in the kitchen that’d made me give them that bombastic side-eye.
Mason picks up his phone to read Duke’s text. He snorts the second his eyes land on what’s written. My phone is somewhere in my gym bag by the stairs, where I’d left it when I came in. Fortunately, Mason’s more than willing to read it out loud to us. “No meeting tonight. Stay the fuck out of rooms that aren’t yours. One more ounce of disrespect toward Lennon—or anyone else in the brotherhood, for that matter—and—” His reading of the message is cut off by the howl of laughter that rips from him. “Oh fuck. I can’t.” He shakes his head, wheezing with amusement.
