Page 52 of Sweet Punk
“I know. Do you ever get to the point where everything is too much, but you’re scared to make the wrong move and set off a chain reaction that makes everything worse?” I heave out a sigh. “That’s where I was at.” I stare at my hands in my lap for a few seconds. “I—” My hands tremble.
“You can tell me, Star. Anything. And I’m not going to think less of you or assume you’re lying.” His voice is raspy, but somehow soothes my nerves. “I’ll believe you.”
Tears prick the backs of my eyes and make my nose sting. “Milo has been threatening me since… well, almost since we met.” I stop again, feeling Kellan’s eyes on me. “It all started when he first got there. I thought he was nice. And we were two teenagers living in the same house.”
Kellan reaches for my hand, automatically understanding that this is going to be a struggle.
“One night, we were watching a movie. And… I let him kiss me. It was my first.” I wipe my fingers under my eye to catch a rogue tear. “I told him the next day that I thought it was a terrible idea for us to do that again.”
“Shit.”
“Yep. That’s where it all started.” I take a few calming breaths before I can continue. “It was almost immediately after that he showed his true colors, wreaking havoc in my life, whether it was setting things on fire—he likes fire, obviously—breaking things and blaming the housekeeper, stealing things… the list goes on and on.”
“If that was the worst of it you wouldn’t be so scared.” Kellan’s soft green eyes study my face. “You can tell me, Star.”
I nod, trying to prepare myself. “He’d come into my bed while I was sleeping. Hold me down and touch me. His favorite thing was to dry hump me until he got off.” I suck in a breath. “And he’s been threatening to rape me for years. That’s how he kept my silence for so long. Everything else he planned to do, he’s followed through on. So, I knew. I knew he’d do it if I told.”
“That’s why it was an anonymous tip that you sent in.”
“Yep. When he told me that he wanted to set a fire at the school? I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I had to do something. And true to his word, that asshole barricaded the gym doors. Thank goodness they caught him before he could set it. People would have died in there, I know it. I know I was right to say something.”
“But it made him angry, I bet.”
“Yeah. He guessed it was me. Anyway, turns out his daddy, Raymond, worked out a deal with the judge. And I guess it was a good thing he was put away in a mental ward for a year and a half. But… it clearly didn’t help.”
He huffs out a breath. “Nope.” His jaw is clenched, muscles twitching. “And now he wants you to pay for ratting him out.”
I nod. “I wanted you to know the whole truth. I was scared to tell anyone. But I’m not anymore.”
Kellan squeezes his eyes shut for a moment. In that small span of time that he says nothing, I worry so hard that I’ve somehow told him too much. When he finally opens them, they’re blazing. “Sorry. Trying to control the urge to find him right now and snap his neck.”
Oh. Well, that makes more sense.
He takes a few breaths, then meets my eyes. “I wanted to show you the paintings today for sure. But I also wanted to tell you—” His gaze slides down and to the side.
I wait.
He blinks a few times before meeting my eyes again. “My dad. I told you what an asshole he is. He’s always been hard on me because I wasn’t like him. I wasn’t built like him or my younger brother. I think he hated me a little because I reminded him of my mom. And she was dead.” He pauses, and I can tell he’s gearing up to tell me something more. “The way he’d look at me. It was bad. And I developed a stutter, especially when I was around him. I sometimes still have issues with it. Like in that stupid fucking speech class.” He stops again, hanging his head.
“Kellan.” My heart goes out to him, he’s trying so hard to get this out. It makes me want to cry for him, but I have an idea that’s not what he needs from me right now. “You can tell me. Just like I told you.”
He lifts his head slightly, peering at me, and nods. “From the age of ten until I was fourteen, anytime he felt like I didn’t meet his expectations—whether I didn’t do well in a class or on a test or if I fucked up at the one baseball game a season he’d show up to—he’d get so damn mad. And then he’d take his anger out on me. It was his way of making a man out of me. Toughening me up. He’d put out his cigarettes on my shoulders and chest. Places no one would see. And he’d always hold me still with a big, meaty hand on my shoulder or around the back of my neck.”
I blink, my eyes scanning over the tattoos. “I thought they were hiding something but—” My voice catches before I can finish my thought. Breathing has become difficult. Every inhale feels like fire in my lungs. My head is intensely overwhelmed with the idea that a parent could do something like this to a child.Ten.He was ten the first time.
“I had one girlfriend in high school. Tammy. She broke up with me because I wouldn’t take my shirt off, wouldn’t let her touch me.” He lets out a flustered noise. “Tammy liked the idea of being the elusive, hard-to-get Kellan’s girlfriend. But she couldn’t handle it. She didn’t understand. And maybe that was my fault.”
“You weren’t ready for anyone to know.”
“No. I wasn’t.” He stares at me steadily, our eyes connecting. “But you’ve helped me more than you know.”
TWENTY-EIGHT
KELLAN
My breath hitches. I want to do this. I need this. I’m ready. “Come here.”
Star’s eyes search mine. “Tell me what you need from me.”
