Page 20 of Sweet Punk
She wets her lips. “So, if I were to do this, would you need me to wear anything specific, or just whatever?”
“I’ll be sketching your face, so you can wear whatever’s most comfortable.”
“And how long do you need me for?”
Forever.That word spins through my head, unbidden. “Until I’m done.” I give her a hopeful look at the same time my heart slams around inside my chest. I want a chance to talk to her again, to clear the air. And maybe I also want to stare at her for however long it takes me to do the sketches. I’ll attempt to push aside the part of me that longs for things I’ll never be fully capable of achieving.
“Yeah, okay. I was just getting ready for bed; planned to hang around reading.” She shrugs. “Um, do you want me to leave my makeup on or can I wash my face?”
My gaze drifts slowly over her delicate features. Heart-shaped face, high cheekbones, cupid’s bow lips, cute little nose… Gorgeous eyes. “Clean face, please.”
Star presses those perfectly luscious lips of hers together, almost like she’s trying not to smile. “Give me five minutes. I’ll be right over.”
“Great.” This is totally unlike me, but I’m strangely excited to spend this time with her. I don’t usually find it easy to hang out with anyone but the guys. There’s something intriguing about Star, though. I haven’t quite figured out what makes her tick. But I want to. Getting a little lost in my head about what all of this means, I slowly back away as she closes the door.
In my room, I nervously pace, but I don’t know why I’m anxious about this. It’s Star. I’m comfortable with her. Fuck, if I wasn’t, I never would have done squat with her in the first place. My brain chooses this moment to give me a slideshow of all the things she and I did together in my bed. Flashes of her hand stroking up and down my dick, her face as she’d watched me come, the way she’d felt and the moans she’d made as she fell apart.Shit.Until I opened my mouth and fucked it all up, we’d been good. Where would we be now if I hadn’t tried to push her away? Suddenly, I want nothing more than to go back to where we were. But I know that’s not possible. All I can do is proceed from here.
I take a couple deep breaths, willing myself to not screw things up again.
“Kellan?”
I turn around to find Star’s cleaned her face of the minimal makeup she usually wears and has changed into a black tank top and dark-pink pajama shorts that match that chunk of dyed hair that frames her face. She hesitates a second on the threshold of my room, touching her fingertips to the stem of her glasses. “Sorry, I didn’t know what to do about—”
“Your glasses?”
She nods, giving me a shy smile.
“What do you think?” I look away from her for a moment and stare at my very blank canvas because she looks so damn good. I don’t want to admit this to myself, especially since it’s too late now, but this could very well be mistake number two.Fuck.I definitely don’t have it in me to push her away again. Not this time.
We’re simply model and artist. I do this all the time. It’s no big deal.You sure are good at fucking lying to yourself.
She shrugs, cautiously. “I don’t feel much like myself without them. But it’s okay. Whatever you need. It’s your assignment.”
“Tell you what. Let’s start with them on, and then maybe I can try it both ways, and we’ll see what we think.”
She lets out a shuddery breath, her gaze roaming my room. “Um, where do you want me?”
I point to the stool that sits near my easel. A million bees buzz in my head, and to make matters worse, my stomach flips around like a competitive cheerleader.
She perches on the small stool. “Now what?”
“Well.” I clear my throat, taking a seat on the chair in front of my easel. “I’m going to capture your natural expression first, so you can look right at me and relax.”
She nods, folding her hands in her lap.
In all honesty, now that she’s here I’m a little overwhelmed—but not in a bad way, more like I can’t quite believe it.
“Tell me to shut up if this question bothers you. But why’d a simple apology make you freak out like that?” She clenches her teeth. “I mean, not freak out, but you kinda— Ugh. Sorry, me talking probably isn’t conducive to what you’re doing over there.”
“It’s fine. I’m just getting started.” I’ve roughed in the shape of her face, trying to capture as many details as I can. “Um. I guess sometimes I get caught up in my head. I can’t remember anyone ever seeking me out to apologize like that.” I draw in a breath as I continue to move the pencil around the large sketchbook attached to my easel. “My family. They’re pretty bad about things like that.” A sigh works its way from me as I glance back at Star, whose brows have drawn together. “Relax, please.”
She smiles sheepishly and smooths her features. “Sorry.”
I nod with a slight smirk and continue working. After a few minutes, I’m done with the preliminary sketch and set the pencil down on the small tray at the bottom of the easel.
“So, your family—you aren’t close?”
I can’t blame her for asking. I gave her the in. Shaking my head, I grimace a bit and brace my hands on my thighs. “Nah. Not at all. My brother is a real dick most of the time. He’s two years younger and always seems to do everything better than I do. Everything that matters to my dad, anyway. And my dad, he—” I huff out a harsh breath. “We don’t have a relationship. Not one worth talking about, anyway. He’s never thought that I was good for anything.”
