Page 17 of Sweet Punk
Hawk nods. “Sure, no problem.” Maddox gives a little wave, and they head back to their suite.
I know without a shadow of a doubt that Kellan probably took his time, wanting to be the last one up here. What does he want from me? To discuss how he made me feel like shit?
“This is the last one.” Kellan appears at the door with a cautious smile.
My heart gives a hard lurch. All the words I thought I’d say to him have flown out of my head. This is going to suck. I turn around, exhaling steadily from between almost sealed lips, and use my new key to let myself back into my room.
“Can I help you bring everything in?”
I glance up to see Kellan awkwardly shifting from one foot to the other, his hand ruffling through his hair and tugging on it at the back of his head. He looks away for a second before meeting my eyes. “I know you’re upset with me.”
Is he for real? I shake my head, slicking my tongue over my lip. “I have a right to how I feel. I thought—” I grimace as I pull open a box, unearthing my new sheets and a duvet.Shit.I’m going to have to wash all this crap. “You know what, forget it. It’s not important what I thought.”
I stand upright again, staring steadily at him with an icy gaze.
“It’s important to me,” he mumbles.
“If I was at all important to you, even as a friend, you wouldn’t have acted like a completedicknot two seconds after I came on your hand.” I can’t help it. My eyes have a mind of their own, flicking down to the very hand that made me come harder than I ever have before.Shit. Don’t look. Don’t think about how good he made you feel.
His mouth drops open at my brazen words, and I’m certain he’s about to say something, but I don’t let him. “I didn’t even get to finish my sentence before you dismissed me. And I’m well aware I was the instigator that night. I know I asked you to sleep in the bed with me, then offered to give you a hand job, then practically begged you to touch me. Like a fucking desperateidiot.”
I’m full-on shaking, my stupid body betraying how upset I am, just like it betrayed me by wanting his touch. But I can’t stop now. “I know it was all on me. But you could have said no, Kellan.” My breath hitches, and at his stunned expression, I repeat it for him, only this time, I can’t hold back four days’ worth of frustration. My words come out in a shout that could bring down the roof. “You could have fucking saidno!It would have hurt less. Instead, you got off, got me off, and then treated me like trash. Like what we did was something you could throw away as if it meant nothing.”
Fuck.My face burns. The way my heart crashes around in my chest can’t be good, and fuck, my lower lip is quivering. I bite down on it. Hard. Tears threaten to unleash from my eyes and run down my face. And he doesn’t get to see that. I push my glasses back up the bridge of my nose, since they’d slipped a bit while I was screaming.Fuck.How much more humiliation can I handle in one day?
Over his shoulder, Raven and Lux appear in the doorway.Oh, great.Perfect timing.
Kellan’s head drops back as he looks at the ceiling, a slight groan rumbling up from his chest, but he steps to the side so the girls can see into the room. “Maybe I should go,” he grits out, his voice low. “We can talk later.” His jaw twitches, then goes rigid. As if he’s holding himself back because the muscles want to move. I can tell.
“Um. What’s going on?” Raven’s melodic voice usually calms me down, but not this time.
Lux’s head is cocked way over to the side, her brow pinched so hard a deep groove runs down the middle of her forehead.
By their facial expressions and the way they’re eyeing him, I can tell they heard at least a portion of what I’d said. Because I’dshoutedit.Right.I swallow down the lump of ugly embarrassment and mutter, “Kellan and the guys helped me bring my new stuff upstairs. Kinda like Kellan helped me out the other night.” My lips twist. His lush green eyes plead with me not to take this further. But I can’t stop myself from finishing as I cross my arms in front of me. “It was no big deal, right?” Pausing when he doesn’t say anything, I can’t help but prod for an answer. “Right, Kellan?”
Discomfort radiates from him. He’s ready to leave. It’s obvious. Goddammit, that’s exactly the opposite of how it’d gone in my head. I thought he’d come closer. Get in my face. And then maybe, like in one of the smutty romance novels I have hiding in my e-reader, he’d take my face in both hands and kiss the fuck out of me. That’s how it was supposed to have gone.
His eyes lock on mine, and his jaw works to the side before he quietly murmurs, “I wanted to tell you I was sorry. I handled everything fucking poorly.”
My throat constricts as I stare at him. And before I can compute what he’s said or respond at all, he slips past Lux and Raven, and is gone.
The girls watch his retreat. When they turn around, the looks on their faces would be comical if any of this were funny at all.
“What the fuck was that?” Lux shakes her head a bit. “Come on, we can talk and help you unpack. That way you don’t have to look at us while you spill.”
Raven taps a thoughtful finger to her lip as she surveys the stacks of boxes. “Do you need booze? Just because I’ve sworn it off for a while doesn’t mean you can’t have a little rum and Coke or something.”
Lux pauses in a squat position next to a large box that she’s commandeered. “Or cookies. I could make cookies if you want.” Her brows lift, awaiting my response.
“Um.” I wet my bottom lip and bring my fingertips to my temples. Gently massaging, I close my eyes for a second. “It’d be dumb to run after him, right?”
“Yep. No doubt. He needs to sweat for a bit, it sounds like.” Lux stops to pull out my new laptop and sets the box on my very empty desktop. “So, are you two—?”
I sigh. “We aren’t anything, honestly.” I flop down on the unmade bed and begin to pry the tape off one of the smaller boxes.
Raven’s unpacking a box containing all my brand-new toiletries, carefully pulling everything out and setting it beside her on the carpet in a pile. “Maddox wasn’t so sure about that.”
“Neither was Gage.” Lux winces. “Kinda hard to keep shit on the down low when we live in each other’s pockets.” Then she shrugs, pulling another box toward her.
