Page 25 of Beautiful Nightmare
Just as I have that thought, Raven grins at us and points at some guy—most likely the one who invited her—and shouts over the music, “I’m going to go say hi!” before she takes off like a shot. Star and I watch our suitemate as she talks animatedly to this guy.Where’d she even meet him?I shrug. He looks nice enough, if a little old to be asking a freshman to a party. But we’re not in high school anymore, and it’s not really any of my business, so I follow Star into the kitchen to help her procure our drinks.
It’s not any less crowded in the big kitchen with beautiful granite counters and black cabinets, but it’s slightly less noisy, and there are beverages of several varieties. There’s a keg sitting on the floor in the corner, and a bunch of bottles of liquor and a stack of red Solo cups on the counter. I have no freaking clue if I’d like any of it. The rum and fruit punch I’d had with Hawk the night of his prom was good. But it also got me very drunk very quickly. I wet my lips with my tongue as my eyes slide over everything again.
My teeth grind. I hate it when I start making excuses for what happened that night because I have a tendency to place part of the blame on myself. It was my sophomore year of high school, though. I was a kid and hadn’t a clue what I was doing, except trying to fit in with the older crowd—with Hawk. Kinda pathetic when I think about it. But tonight, I’d like to have a little something. Cut loose. Try to relax.
And like I’ve summoned him from the dead with a single thought, my gray eyes connect with his hazel ones from across the expansive kitchen. His brows raise a fraction. He lifts his beer bottle, and nods.
Oh, no, no, no.He can’t be here. My heart begins to race, and I blink a few times, hoping the confident god of a man across the room is a figment of my imagination that I can will away. But nope, he’s standing there, staring right at me with a calculating, curious glint to his eyes. I guess he didn’t figure I’d dare show up at a party, that it’d be too harsh a reminder of the last one for me.
He might be right.
Fuck, what am I doing?Going off the deep end, that’s what. Imagining what he’s thinking just from his steady, devastating fascination with me. Taking an inventory of myself, I realize my mouth has gone dry and my palms are sweating. One look at him sends me into this awful panic mode. My chest squeezes my lungs until I can’t catch a decent breath. But I don’t want to let him ruin tonight. I don’t want to let him continue to have that kind of power over me. So, when his lips tip into a cocky smirk, I wrench my gaze from his.No.
I steel myself, my eyes flicking to the guys standing with him. His crew. Maddox and Kellan. I don’t know what to make of them, either. Maddox seems like he might have a whole bunch of his own issues, one minute laughing, the next brooding and angry. And Kellan? He’s quietly observant. It’s a little unnerving. I huff out a small laugh. I think this may be the first time I’ve seen him with a shirt on.
Unable to stop the pull that Hawk has on me, my traitorous eyes shift back to him. To me, he’ll always stand out. On the outside, there’s an air of superiority. But he’d also been kind to me—in the early stages of our relationship, anyway. He’s the guy I first fell for. He made me a fool for him, then ruined me. He’s the reason I’m so damn awkward around other people. He’s the reason why I have no idea what to do at a party like this. Because all it does is dredge up memories of that night. Lost in all of it, I press my hand to my heart. It’s beating out of control, like a mad hummingbird wanting to escape the cage of my chest. I can’t handle this. Him.How is he here?I turn away, putting my back to Hawk and everything I feel radiating from him when he looks at me—all the rage… and, interestingly, all the lust. He wanted me then and he wants me now. Even though he believes I’ve done something worth all of this animosity.
“What do you think? Beers? Wine coolers? Mixed drinks? What do you like?” Star glances at me, unaware of my inner turmoil before she goes back to scanning our choices.
Some tall good-looking guy randomly holds a drink out to me. “Want one of these?”
I look up at him, into what appear to be kind eyes, then at the drink he’s offering. It’s similar to the fruity concoction Hawk had made for me. “Um, maybe I’ll just try a wine cooler or something?”
He shrugs like it’s no big deal before reaching down into a cooler, pulling one out, and popping the cap off for me. “Here you go.” He then opens a second one for Star, which she also accepts.
“Thanks.”
“You got it. I’m Mike, by the way.” He pins his gaze on me. “Wait a sec, do I know you? Are you a freshman?”
I shoot a look at Star from the corner of my eye and tip my drink to my mouth. I have no idea whether it’s a big deal for a couple of eighteen-year-olds to be drinking at a frat party, but I hope he’s not about to snatch these things out of our hands.
She gives me an almost imperceptible shake of her head as she tucks her hair behind her ears. “Nah, just haven’t been to one of these parties in a while. I’m Star and this is Lux.” She winks playfully at him, then turns and hooks her arm through mine. Rolling her eyes once we get away from him, she laughs. “Did you think he was going to take our drinks or something?”
“Well, I dunno. I’m definitely not of legal drinking age.”
She throws her head back and laughs loudly. “The main objective of dudes at a frat party is to get the ladies drunk enough so they can grope or bang us. Youarekind of innocent, aren’t you?”
My cheeks turn pink. If only she knew.
Star and I stand around taking in the scene for a while, and because we have nothing better to do with our hands, our wine coolers disappear pretty quickly. I’m about to suggest that we go fetch another when Mike appears at my side with two more drinks and hands them to us with a smile.
“Wanna dance?” His brows lift, and he has this puppy dog look aimed directly at me. It makes me want to say yes. I glance at Star, silently questioning whether she’ll be okay if I go dance.
She gives me a gentle shove. “Don’t worry about me. Go have some fun. I’m cool right here with my drink.” As if to prove it, she props herself against the wall—exactly what she said she didn’t want to do earlier—and bobs her head to the beat of the music. Her eyes meet mine again, and I see a very definiteleave me bein them. Her attitude has taken a slight turn in the last twenty minutes, and I’m not sure what it’s all about. I guess I’ll ask later… like after this dance.
Mike takes my free hand, and I allow him to lead me to the center of the room. I down a generous sip of the wine cooler as he draws me close to his body. We begin to move together, his hands on my hips, and one of mine gripping his shoulder. It’s a tricky thing to dance gracefully while holding a beverage, so against my better judgment, I decide I’ll drink it down so it’s out of my hands. Mike grins as I chug. “That’s what I’m fucking talking about.”
Once I’m done, I hand it to Mike, who gets rid of the bottle for me so we can resume dancing. Slowly, we get closer and closer, all while my head feels lighter and lighter. Mike’s a pretty good dancer, but with every swivel of his hips, I feel his hard-on against me. I don’t know why they call this dancing. Sure, there’s music, but we’re simply grinding against each other to the beat. A socially acceptable way to dry hump, I suppose. I snicker at that thought. I’ll have to relay that alcohol-fueled revelation to the girls later. Because yeah, I’m definitely feeling those wine coolers now. I’m warm and tingly all over.
In my pocket, my cell phone vibrates, and I reluctantly ease away from Mike. “Sorry,” I shout over the music, “I should check this!”
He shrugs and gestures that I should go ahead with it.
Raven:We’re outside. Star has cramps, we’re going to head back.
Raven:You look like you’re having a good time.
Raven:Are you okay to stay on your own?
