Page 16 of Beautiful Nightmare
Before I know what Hawk’s doing, his arm tugs me even closer, and he whispers near my ear, “Having fun, killer?” His lips graze my skin, hot and sinful, sending an immediate jolt of electricity zinging through me. The scent of his bodywash drifts up my nose—it’s fresh, with notes of citrus. I recognize it as what we were smelling in our suite. It was definitely him.Fuck.
My chest clenches hard, and I close my eyes, willing the torture to end. This has to be the longest ride known to mankind. From shoulder to knee, my body is lit up, fully aware of Hawk’s muscular body. I suck in another breath before I let out another shriek. I couldn’t say whether I’m responding more to the ride or to my body being so firmly glued to the boy who hurt me so badly. The one who I swear thought to take me out with him when he crashed his car into that tree. He sought to punish me. And did he ever. Sometimes, I think it would have been easier if I’d died.
And now, with him very much alive here next to me, I’m being forced to remember every last thing that happened between us. Am I curious? Do I want to know what went through his head before the accident?Shit.It wasn’t an accident. Even though that’s what everyone else thinks. No matter what they call it, that’s not what it was. Not by a long shot.
For the millionth time since I came to this school and found out Hawk is alive and well, I wonder why no one told me what had really happened. What possible purpose did it serve? I make another attempt to pull myself away from him, but it’s in vain.
“I don’t know why you’re bothering. You can’t get away from me.” The arm that’s already wrapped around me pulls me tightly into his side, until all I can feel is the heat radiating off of him, and all I can hear is my heart beating like a drum. “Not on this ride… or anywhere else. This is typical of you, though, always a fuckin’ tease. Acting like you don’t want it. But I know the truth. I know you were fucking around with other guys. Never could quite figure out why them and not—” He stops mid-sentence, glaring at me, then shakes his head again.
The interminable ride is finally slowing, and I’m able to wrench away from Hawk’s vicious hold, shoving off his rock-hard chest with both arms. I turn my head to stare at him in astonishment. “I’m sorry, what?” I ask, my brain muddled by his words, all while my body seems to be reveling in this fucked-up situation. There’s something about Hawk that draws me in, despite whatever nonsense he’s spewing at me.
His stare is nothing short of lethal. “The way you acted all innocent back in high school—it was a clever ruse, wasn’t it? Why couldn’t you just be honest? Everyone knew you were a slut. I don’t get it.” He looks at me with absolute disgust as he finishes his tirade.
My mouth hangs agape, but before I can respond, the ride attendant is there, unlocking our car, and Hawk takes off without a backward glance. I can sense the anger vibrating off him in waves.What the actual fuck?I remain seated, stunned.
TEN
LUX
“You’re going to have to exit the ride now, miss. If you want to ride again, you’ll have to get back in line.” I blink, turning my head toward the operator who is clearly waiting for me to get the hell out of the car so they can start loading the next round of riders.
“S-sorry.” I blink again to get my bearings, then shake myself of what just transpired. As I climb from the ride, I spot Star and Raven racing toward me.
“Lux!” Raven shouts, pushing her way through the herd of people leaving the ride. I wait for them right where I am, rooted to the spot.
“What the hell just happened?” Star greets me with wide eyes behind her funky glasses, her face a mixture of confusion and disbelief.
I mumble, “The ride attendant asked for single riders…”
“Bullshit. He had to have done that on purpose.”
Raven’s brows draw together as she takes my arm and guides me to the exit at the urging of the ride attendant. “We were trying to watch what was happening, but oh my God, the spinning.” She presses a hand to her temple, as if she’s trying to hold her head on her neck. “We could tell you were desperately trying to stay away from him, but then all of a sudden the two of you were smashed together, and he had his arm around you. And if we didn’t know that you and he have some horrible history, it would have looked like a totally normal scene, just a girl and guy having fun. You, screaming your head off and him laughing.”
I snort with derision. “I was a long way from having fun, trust me.” Our trio moves away from the rides, and we sit down at one of the picnic tables. My heart is still racing, so I press a hand to my chest as I furtively glance around. I don’t see Hawk anywhere. But that doesn’t mean he’s not here. Watching. Waiting for another chance to— My thoughts jerk to a halt. I wish I understood the fixation Hawk seems to have on me. Things between us ended with my heartbreak and a literal crash. And I wish I understood half of the things he’s spit at me each time he’s cornered me.I ruined everything. I lied. He hates me. I was a tease and a slut.His words swamp me, dragging me under, and make me want to run and hide. He’s close to convincing me I don’t belong here—that I should go back to my parents’ house and never try to be normal ever again. It’s ridiculous how spectacularly I’m already failing to assimilate at this school. And it’s all thanks to Hawk.
Raven frowns, chewing on her lip as she props her arms on the table in front of her. Her gaze is steady on me. “He had this self-satisfied, smug look on his face. I don’t get it. What’s his deal? From what little you told us yesterday, it had to do with him blaming you for the car accident you were both in.”
It would seem there’s a lot of the blame game going on around here. Only his is misplaced, mine not so much. “Um.” I take a deep breath. Then another. It’s all crap, really. He’s the one who messed everything up. Acted like I owed him something because I was his prom date. “Yeah. That’s why I’m confused. I don’t know why he believes what he does. He was driving that night. We were both upset. I had more of a right to be, though. He’s the one who…”
My mind wanders away from the two girls sitting across from me. Hawk had insisted we go to the prom after-party at a lake house owned by the parents of his football buddy, Kip. He’d said it would be fun and wanted to go even though we’d hardly spent any time at the dance itself.
* * *
“Want something to drink, Lux?”
Hawk and I stand close together in a massive kitchen, surrounded by a throng of drunk after-prom partygoers. Normally, a gathering like this would make me uncomfortable. But Hawk keeps reminding me that he chose me from all the other girls at school. That he asked me to be his prom date. He’d asked me to be his girlfriend. And I’m the tiniest bit nervous about everything… because why would he want me? I’m nobody.
But the way he looks at me, like I’m the only girl he sees, also makes me feel good. I wonder if there will ever be a time when I trust that he simply likes me and that’s that. It seems too good to be true. A slightly nerdy science-loving sophomore catches the eye of Blackheart Academy’s star football player. In what world does that happen?
I could swear at any moment, I’m going to wake up from this dream and realize how completely pathetic I am for having gotten my panties wet over some guy who will never look twice at me.
I blink and look up into Hawk’s pretty hazel eyes, trying to be okay with the fact that we’d only spent thirty minutes at the dance. Full disclosure—it’d been a little disappointing when he said he wanted to take off… but it’s his senior prom, not mine. “Um, sure.”
His hungry eyes roam my body, and a rush of excitement flows through me like lava. That’s the look. The one that makes me forget we’re an unlikely couple. I want to be the girl he wants. At least… I think I do. I might be falling for him. But I’ve never been in love before, so I don’t really know. My eyes flutter closed. I can tell he likes the deep-purple strapless dress I’d picked out with him in mind. It’s so pretty and just a tiny bit sexy. Perfect.
He shoots me a grin, grabs a cup, and pours first some liquor, then some fruit juice, and gives it all a stir before handing it off to me. “Drink up, baby girl.”
I chew on my lip for a few seconds, studying the contents of the cup he’s handed me. Giving it a tiny sniff, I immediately get a strong whiff of alcohol. “What is it?”
