Page 21 of Beautiful Nightmare
Hawk’s been in my room. Watching me while I sleep. How fucking creepy is that? Has it happened more than once? Will it happen again? I’m unsure if I can handle not knowing whether someone is going to sneak into my room like a psychopath. I’m stuck in a catch-22. Take my meds to help me sleep and be knocked out while he watches me and touches my things or not take them and suffer the effects of both past and current trauma. The results of sleep deprivation haven’t been pretty. This predicament is another indicator of how much of a hot mess this beautiful nightmare is making me.
The lump that’s been in my throat plummets into my stomach, making me queasy. And now… I have just over an hour before my English lit class… but I’m afraid to come out from behind this tree. It makes me angry that he can do this to me. So fucking mad.
Had he followed me? Did he see where I’d gone? I wait with bated breath, squeezing my eyes shut and trying to control the ragged puffs of air that want to burst from my lungs.
“You can run, but you’re really bad at hiding.” Hawk’s deep voice startles me as his breath cascades across my cheek like a wickedly hot caress.
My eyes spring open, terror jolting through me. If I thought my heartbeat was erratic earlier, it’s a crazy, rampaging machine now. He’s so close, anyone looking at us would think we were having an intimate conversation. But I know better. He’s only here to torture me.
Before I can think, before I see it coming, he’s clasped both of my wrists in one of his big hands and holds them over my head against the tree. I gasp, shocked at how quickly he has me subdued. “Let me go.” I twist my body, trying to get free, but he’s so close, I only succeed in rubbing myself against his chest. It sets off untamed sparks within me, pebbling my nipples, and washing me in shame.
His hazel eyes have darkened and bore into mine. He leans in close, his voice whisper soft. “I can feel the way your hot little body is responding to mine. You’re all tensed up, trying to deny what you’re experiencing. But it’s happening all the same.”
“Shut up.” I jerk to the side and bring my knee up, aiming for his groin, but it rams into the muscled wall of his inner thigh instead.
He grunts before working his jaw back and forth as he stares brutally into my eyes. The space between us eliminated, I assume to avoid another attempt at unmanning him. “Nice try, Lux. Truly respectable.”
“I will take every chance I get to knee you in your sorry junk.” I’m so mad, my voice shakes.
He smirks, his warm body against me is more like an inferno. I feel it right down to my bones. “Is that so, Lethal Lux?”
My gaze falls to his soft-looking lips as he speaks, and my heart rate ratchets up several notches. I can’t stop myself from remembering what it’d been like to kiss him—when times were good. When I didn’t know he’d eventually try to hurt me. When I thought I was something special to him.
Instead of answering him, I ask, “Why are you doing this to me?” as I attempt to hide the fact that my heart is still a little broken over him. “Why?” The word comes out as a partial sob. Like it’s ripped from my very soul.
He rasps, “Simple. Because I can. Because youdroveme to it. And because youdeserveit.” He presses close, running his nose along my jaw, while I’m frozen in place, unable to get away.
But I can scream. I suck in a breath, and as I’m about to let out a shriek, Hawk’s mouth comes down hard on mine. His fingers flex around my wrists where they’re pinned against the rough bark. His lips are bruising, ruthless, and completely sinful. With our mouths fused together, I don’t make a sound. I can’t. But I can hear the wild beating of my heart and the low groan he emits as he ravages me. His free hand settles at my hip, his fingers firmly grasping. He shifts, better aligning our bodies, and—oh fuck—a jolt of heat slams through me, causing me to gasp aloud.
Hawk takes advantage of my surprise, licking inside my open mouth. Touching my tongue with his. More fire shoots through my veins. I whimper into our kiss, and against my lips he smirks before diving back into his assault on my mouth, nipping and coaxing, massaging my tongue with his. He tilts his head, plunging deeper, taking this insanity to an entirely new level.
I can’t think. I can hardly breathe. But fuck. I can feel. Everything he’s doing makes me moan and writhe against his muscular body. I lift one leg, wrapping it around his hip, and with a tilt of my hips, his erection is between my legs, and I’m rubbing up on him like I haven’t a care in the world. Like it’s just me and him and this wanton moment of lust and desire.And oh God.What am I doing?
With a disturbed cry, I bite down on the soft tissue of his lower lip until a warm gush of metallic-tasting liquid meets my tongue at the same time he hisses in pain, jerking against me. I drop my leg from around his waist, my body going rigid.
“Fuck!” He pushes back, releasing my hands from where he’d had them trapped. He brings his thumb to his lip, sliding it across the punctured skin to inspect the damage. While he’s doing that, his eyes don’t leave mine.
My mouth opens and closes as I stare into his pain-filled eyes.
“So, you like it rough, huh, Lux?”
The second comprehension of what he’s asked dawns on me, I shoot him a hateful glare, horrible memories from our last night together seep into my thoughts. “I wanted to give you a physical reminder that I drew first blood. Don’t forget it.” I shove away from him, grab my bag off the ground, and run from between the buildings to the sidewalk.
I sling my messenger bag across my body and realize that my hands are shaking. I clench them at my sides as I stalk in the direction of my next class.
I spend the next several minutes chastising myself over letting Hawk kiss me. But even more so, after the initial shock of it, I’d gotten way too into it. I wasn’t thinking straight. He does something to my brain. My body knows him. Remembers him. And the crazy thing is, I was more responsive to him than I’ve ever been before.
And now there’s a distinct dampness to my panties that will serve as a lovely reminder that I lost control. I allowed that to happen. With him, of all people. Closing my eyes for a brief second, I will myself to put him and those kisses—and more—out of my head. It’s no big deal. I can do whatever the fuck I want. And in the end, at least I’m not the only one with a physical reminder. At least I can change my panties. His lip’s going to hurt like a bitch for days.
Thwamp.My body connects with something hard, and my eyes fly open as I stumble. Big hands grasp my upper arms to steady me. “Well hey, Lux. How’s it going?”
Tipping my head back, I stare up into Number Four’s laughing eyes. “Oh crap. Sorry, Matty. I was…” I heave out a disturbed sigh.
“Daydreaming?”
“More like nightmaring, but yeah. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going. Which is dumb because I don’t really know where I’m going to begin with. First day of class and all.”
“I take it you have an eleven o’clock?”
