Page 70 of For the First Time
I wasn’t sure how to answer that.I couldn’t give a resounding no, because, well, there were some advantages to being a beta.There was a sort of freedom that I had that Hannah didn’t, that had Koda clinging to her beta designation.But it wasn’t a resounding yes, either.Even though the other designations tended to look down on betas as if we were somehow wrong or bad for not having these primal instincts.
I just ...was a beta.I didn’t know what it meant to be a beta outside of the societal designation.
I was as protective over my pack as an alpha would be.I gentled the tempers of the pack like an omega would.Did that make me less of a beta?
My alphas and my omega still wanted to fuck me.They still wanted me when lost to their primitive instincts.Did that mean anything?
I honestly wasn’t even sure what my designation meant anymore.It was a title that I’d worn like a shield for so long.I was a beta that did good to the other designations.Was that what a beta was?Only a supportive step for alphas and omegas?I wasn’t sure anymore.
If I could change my biology to take a knot, but my scent was still weak, would that make me an omega?The opposite of Koda?
I was just me.
I was truly starting to understand what Atlas was saying when he declared that he wasn’t an omega.He was Atlas.He rode horses and led tours and ran an apple orchard.He was in love with Everett and Oaks and me.He liked big buckles on his belt, and he did his best not to bring dirt into the house.He was kind with a domineering personality.
None of that was like an omega, but he was one biologically.
“I don’t know,” I finally admitted.“I don’t know what it means to be a beta anymore.”
“You smell like yourself,” Hannah said.“Not like that chemical stuff you usually wear.”
“I mostly wore that out of habit.To be a good beta.”
“Now you don’t care about that?”
I shook my head.“I think my opinion on what a ‘good beta’ is, is changing.”
“I used to hate my scent,” Koda admitted.“First because it didn’t appear and then anytime it did because I know anyone will be able to tell I’m not a beta.But honestly?I’ve always considered myself more of a beta.I didn’t have a typical heat until I met my mates, though.Now it feels weird to think of myself as more of an omega.”
“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever been tested on whether I’m an omega,” Hannah said.
“Uh.”Koda and I shared a look.Hannah was almost stereotypically an omega.She perfumed, had heats, was possessive over her mates.
She continued, “I mean it.What if someone had the opposite of Koda’s issue.What if they perfumed and acted like an omega but their body couldn’t handle a knot.Wouldn’t that be dangerous?”
It would be.And it probably did happen on the rarest of rare occasions.But I understood Hannah’s point.No doubt people were slipping through the cracks, others were just being blatantly left behind, and some were being forcibly dragged to follow.Nothing could ever be perfect.There would always be room for improvement.So why had no one tried to make the OC better?Why were people so offended by the idea that the OCcoulddo better?Help more people.
No doubt, because people didn’t want to help everyone.The designation elitists wouldn’t want an omega like Koda.Someone who didn’t perfume as expected.It made Koda’s pack even more impressive considering they had wanted her when they thought she was a beta.Three alphas and a beta.
I wasn’t sure what was harder on a beta’s body.An alpha’s knot or an omega’s heat.
“The OC hasn’t updated since it was first created,” I told them.“A lot of the guidelines follow designation traditions.Like pulling omegas from their homes once they present.”
Hannah bared her teeth at the reminder.
“What about designation studies?”Koda asked.“Even Seb does work with genetics and stuff.None of those studies go into the OC?”
I shook my head.“Those studies are all done by private citizens or organizations.The OC hasn’t conducted any of their own.They claim designation bias.”
“In what?”
“In the scientists.The OC mandate claims alpha instincts as the determining factor in most cases.In whether an omega is an omega, whether they’re in heat, what sort of care to provide, all of that.”
Hannah threw her hands in the air.“That doesn’t even make sense.Shouldn’t omegas be the determining factor or whatever?”
I nodded.“They should be.But if they were, then omegas would have no incentive to join packs.I think it’s the social aspect of mating.Biologically, alphas and omegas are compatible, but that doesn’t guarantee an omega willwantto bond and endure a heat with an alpha.So socially, alphas force omegas into packs and, voila, the world continues to have children, and the cycles continue.”
Both Hannah and Koda were silent for a moment, considering my words.
