Page 37 of All Night with the Cowboy
They both stayed silent, and then it was Lauren who pulled away. She went back to eating, not wanting to waste what was one of the most beautiful dinners she’d ever had. She shouldn’t have told him, because Tanner would only see how he could have fixed the situation. And it hadn’t been something she’d wanted him to fix.
“Can we just forget about the past?” she asked. “Our breakup ripped my own heart out as much as it ripped out yours, and I don’t want to go back.”
His smile was tight now, his expression more melancholy than she’d seen since they’d arrived in Fiji.
“All this time, that’s been the one thing I’ve wanted to know. I should have asked you a decade ago why you’d ended things, and maybe I wouldn’t have become so damn bitter and twisted.”
“Yeah, well, water under the bridge now, right?”
“Water under the bridge,” he repeated, but she knew they were just words. Neither of them would ever forgettheir heartache as teenagers, the pain of having your first love ended so abruptly.
“Do you think less of me now?” she asked. “Now that you know I gave you up for college?”
“No.” His answer was fast. “It changes everything, actually.”
“How?” Lauren was confused. Why did he not hate her even more now that knew the truth?
“Because all this time, I thought you’d been a heartless bitch who’d somehow managed to string me along when you had no intention of staying together,” Tanner told her, the huskiness of his voice telling her that he was finding this whole conversation as emotional as she was. “But following your dreams is one thing I do understand. My family has tried to push me in other directions, tried to bully me into doing something different with all kinds of the threats and tactics, but I stayed true to what I wanted. Bull riding was my passion and I wouldn’t give that up for anyone or anything, although I’ve always promised myself that if I need to step in to our family business, if anything ever happens to Dad, I’ll do it in a heartbeat. I won’t be pressured into it or told what to do, but when that day comes, my allegiance will be clear.”
“So you get it?”
“I more than get it, I goddamn admire it,” he said. “I just wish you’d been able to give your parents the two-finger salute and get the guy at the same time.”
She met his gaze then smiled back at him, his grin contagious. “Maybe having a fling with the guy twelve years later is enough.”
“Damn right,” he repeated. “Now finish eating, we’vegot dessert to go and then I’m throwing you over my shoulder and taking you to bed.”
His phone buzzed then and Tanner reached for it, his eyes not leaving hers, making her squirm in her seat. When he glanced at the screen he groaned.
“Why did I even bring this damn thing with me?”
“Your agent again?” She’d noticed that he’d switched his phone to silent after the first day of calls—everyone seemed to want a piece of him, even while he was away.
He nodded. “I thought I couldn’t get my family off my back, but this guy is…” He refused the call, and she watched as he held his finger on the button to turn the phone off. “They all want me to recover? They can leave me the hell alone to do it. And they can stop asking me when, what, how…” Tanner groaned. “I told him I’d fire him if he called me again, so I guess he’s called my bluff.”
She laughed. “I wholeheartedly agree.” His agent wanted to know when he’d be making his comeback, his sister wanted to know how everything was going, and the rest of his family… well, she guessed they were wanting to talk him into retirement. Whatever they were all hassling him about, he didn’t seem to want to engage with them.
Tanner grinned back and pushed his phone away, and Lauren suddenly couldn’t take her eyes off him.
***
Tanner stretched out in his chair, staring at Lauren and realizing there had been so much going on in her head that he hadn’t known about. Why the hell hadn’t he guessed what had happened all those years ago? He’d hated her for something that had hurt her as much asit had hurt him, and all this time he’d hated her for what she’d done.
He watched as she tossed her long hair back over her shoulder, leaning back in her seat now that she’d finished her linguine. She was so effortlessly beautiful, and he wondered if she knew just how attractive she was. In a world full of bottle blondes, too-white teeth, and fake everything, she was a classic brunette beauty, and he liked the fact that she’d been so open about her ambitions. It might have ended their relationship, but she was driven and that’s what he liked about her. He could have found a way to help her pay for college, he was sure of it, but it would have been him taking charge, him pulling the strings instead of her parents. And he would have also caused a divide between her and the family she loved more than anything.
He poured the last of their champagne and held up his glass. Lauren had an air of uncertainty about her, and he wanted to quell any fears she had about her confession.
“To fresh starts and new beginnings,” he said, clinking his glass to hers.
She smiled, lighting up her entire face. “To fresh starts,” she echoed.
Tanner sipped his drink and watched her do the same, not breaking their connection even when dessert arrived.
“Chocolate torte with almond brittle ice cream,” the waiter announced, setting the plates in front of them.
“Sounds delicious,” Tanner murmured.
And even in the dim light, he was certain he could see Lauren’s cheeks flush a deep, cute-as-hell pink.
