Page 24 of The Cowboy's Home
Such a simple sentence, but it slammed into Skyler like someone had fired a cannonball right into the very pit of his stomach. He stared at the other man, and he really just could not believe that he heard those words. Words that he once would have given anything to hear, but now, he couldn’t listen without a growing sense of dread.
What was Hannah going to think about this?
“Matthew, you turned me away at the door when my parents asked me to leave,” Skyler pointed out. Someone had to throw cold water over the situation, and apparently, it wasn’t going to be Matthew. “I needed you and …”
“I know! I wasn’t ready then,” Matthew declared, and there was passion in his eyes, but it was a very calculated sort of passion. Like he didn’t actually expect Skyler to reject him, and he was just going through the motions. “I was freaked out that you actually came out. I wasn’t expecting that.”
“I came out,” Skyler declared, his voice as calm and measured as he could make it, despite severe provocation, “because you asked me to. You said we would both tell our parents and then support each other. That’s the only reason that I did it.”
As he spoke, all of the betrayal that he had felt back then came flooding back. It was like he was so young and helpless again, lost and alone in the world.
“If it hadn’t been for Kyle, I would have had nowhere to go, and you know that?” Skyler asked. Kyle hadn’t asked any questions. He had just taken Skyler in and gotten him set up in a place. Eventually, he had even given Skyler a job.
“Look, I’m sorry about all that, but I’ve grown up,” Matthew pleaded, and for the first time, Skyler was sure that he saw something real in his face. And that was almost scarier when it had seemed like it was all an act. “I’m ready to commit to you.”
“And that’s, I assume,” Skyler replied, his voice so cold that he barely recognized himself speaking, “why you were going to marry my sister.”
“I couldn’t find you,” Matthew explained. “I knew where you were when you were in Seattle, but then you and Kyle left, and I couldn’t figure out where you’d gone. It was the only thing I could think of to do.”
Skyler stared, and he would have thought that there was nothing else that this man could have done to him. Once, Matthew had shut the door in his face, right when Skyler had needed him the most. And that had been bad enough.
But, unless Skyler was very much mistaken, Matthew had just said that he had only gotten together with Hannah to get at Skyler. And that was the absolute most repulsive thing that he had ever heard. It was like he had turned over an innocent-looking rock and had found a nest of maggots under it. That was the same crawly, disgusted feeling that he got in the pit of his stomach.
“Are you seriously saying that you only used my sister to get at me?” Skyler demanded, but Matthew didn’t seem concerned. If anything, he looked smugger than ever, like he actually thought that Skyler would be impressed by him going to such lengths.
“Yeah. That’s how badly I wanted to see you, baby. And you’re still holding my hand, so I think that you want to see me, too …”
Skyler had actually literally forgotten that he was still hand-in-hand with Matthew. He had been so fixated on his horrible words that he hadn’t even noticed. All at once, like he had touched something disgusting, he pulled his own hand away and shook it, like he could get the filth to fall free.
“You’re disgusting,” Skyler informed him, his voice cold, but shaking with barely repressed anger. “I wouldn’t be with you again if you were the last person on the planet.”
Leaving his beer right there on the table, he stood up. He had been right, so very right when he had had the feeling that he shouldn’t come. Only maybe it was good that he had, because now, at least, he knew.
“I see,” Matthew replied, and a small smirk tugged on the corner of his lips. “Well, it’s a good thing I wasn’t serious, then. I trust you’ll keep this conversation between the two of us.”
Skyler shook his head, and he didn’t trust himself to say anything, because if he did, he would scream incoherently at the tops of his lungs. So he just turned on his heel and walked out, and he was still shaking as he made his way up to his hotel room.
What the ever-loving hell was he going to do about this?
Sixteen
Craig
Things had mostly calmed down by the time Skyler got back. Craig had spent most of it shaking with rage, with fear, but Jessica, bless her, had talked him down. He could definitely see the appeal that the forthright, yet compassionate, young woman had had with Derrick. It was no wonder that Derrick had wanted to keep her around as a friend even once they’d broken up.
She made it very clear that she knew what was going on between him and Skyler, and that she didn’t care, that it made no difference to her at all. Which was such a new concept to him, it sort of blew his mind. If he needed to, he could just talk to her, and she would treat it just like she would if a friend came to her talking about any relationship.
They had a movie playing on the television and were laughing and chattering as they made fun of it when the door opened. In walked Skyler, and even though Craig sort of hated himself for it, he looked for signs that he was sure he wouldn’t find. Swollen lips, for instance. Or disheveled clothing.
It was ridiculous that he should even think such a thing, and Craig knew it. But part of him couldn’t help but think that Skyler was going to realize Craig wasn’t such a great deal. And Matthew’s gaze had made Craig incredibly uncomfortable. It was like Matthew had been undressing Skyler with his eyes like Matthew and Skyler had some sort of history that Craig wasn’t privy to.
But, of course, that was stupid. Although his ears had definitely pricked up when it had come out that Skyler and Matthew used to hang out. On the other hand, Craig knew that he was strangely possessive when it came to Skyler and that he needed to calm down. If he could trust anyone, it would be Skyler. The man was the epitome of loyalty. He had, after all, even followed his best friend across the country.
“Skyler, what’s wrong?” Jessica’s voice stunned Craig right out of his thoughts, right out the way he was jealous and trying to convince himself that he shouldn’t be, so he could actually look right at Skyler and really see him.
What he saw shook him. Skyler was pale and trembling, his movements, usually so graceful and smooth, unsteady so that he needed to put a hand onto the wall every so often to keep himself, apparently, from falling over.
In a second, Craig had forgotten all of his jealousy, and he was on his feet and heading for Skyler. Deeply grateful that it was Jessica with them, and that she already knew so that he didn’t have to worry about it, Craig bounded over to Skyler and put his arm around him, holding him close, supporting him with his own huge body.
